Tuesday, October 18, 2005

BJ and I liked to play chess together. It was interesting to watch his mind work as we played. When he was younger, he didn't win much (unless he had "unrecognized help"). When he won, he would show such joy and elation. He'd share it with anyone who would listen. As he grew a little older, he began to recognize the "help" he was getting, and insist it be withdrawn. He also started to win on occasion.

In the last year or so, he used planned strategies. He won more often. He didn't get any less excited about it, either. The thing was, he got to be better than I was, but didn't realize it. Because I was his dad, he just thought I was invincible. As I watched his strategies unfold, I was often sucked in, and he would have me on the run. That's why it was so interesting to me that he would seem to lose focus as the game wore on, and I would regain the upper hand.

The more I thought about this, the more I realized that our lives are often lived just like that, in regards to our relationship with Christ. We are thrilled when He uses us to achieve victory. We grow from the experience, and are better equipped to deal with a similar issue the next time. We know our Father is invincible, and that He is all powerful, yet we get distracted, start focusing perhaps on glory we might receive, and we get blindsided, even defeated!

We have to remember that "the enemy is prowling like a lion, looking for who he can devour." BJ came back from his first Peru trip all fired up about Ephesians 6, and putting on the full armor of God. He began teaching it to Sunday School Classes, youth groups, again, anyone who would listen! He understood how important it is to have the armor on for defensive purposes, and yet to be armed with your sword for offensive purposes (thanks for the reminder aj).

BJ got excited about ideas and/or strategies that made sense. He was passionate and intense over these kinds of issues. His good friend Jack stated it well at Beej's Memorial Celebration, when he said "when BJ spoke to you, you knew he was talking to the masses." That he would carry that much passion into a one on one conversation could have been intimidating. Instead, I think most people he had those conversations with were moved, and in some cases went out and did likewise.

Oh that we would proclaim our passion for Christ to the world with the joy and elation of a child.


Deanna is back to teaching for her first day, today. Whitney had a tough afternoon emotionally, yesterday...it was wonderful to see her home for dinner! Kim, Abbey, Megan, and Crazy Megan are taking care of Lauren...thanks daughters!!

Serving the King beside you,

dad

40 Comments:

At 6:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you again for such inspirational and challenging words. They reflect the core of your family and your heart. I wanted to let you know that although I do not normally work on Tuesdays(I teach part time)It just so happens that I will be there today! My days were switched this week. I will be faithful to uphold Deanna in prayer even as I walk form classroom to classroom, and through the halls. I will cover her all day. May God bless you and continue to strengthen your family. We love you!

Lori Burkert

 
At 7:09 AM, Blogger . said...

I'll be praying especially for you today, Deanna....
(And for the rest of you as well)

 
At 7:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks be to God for His provision of a prayer cover: up-close and in-person as well as far-away and online!

Lifting the Higgins family up at work, school, and the special place that bears both titles for Deanna. With tender love and

prayers in pink,
Pieper Family
Charleston, SC

 
At 7:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lifting you all before the throne of grace today.

Love and prayers,
Toodie

 
At 7:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing these spiritual nuggets - the chess game analogy is so true. Your transparency in all you have been going through has touched so many lives! In mine, it has helped me be more transparent and hungry for God. Thank you so much. We continue to pray for you all in Virginia.

 
At 8:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Continued prayer for each of you...

Deanna, I hope your first day went well....

Thank you so much for your sharing...

The Lord has used you greatly for myself in many ways...

Thank You...

Your Sister in Christ,
Mary (Noblesville)

 
At 8:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying much for you today!
In Ohio

 
At 8:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

started my day praying for you all that you would have strength for the day ahead.

 
At 8:22 AM, Blogger Kim Mierau said...

deanna, i'll be thinking about you today and praying for your first day back. whitney, anytime you need to get away we would LOVE to have you up here to hang out! brent, it is our joy to take care of lauren. praying for you all. love *kim

 
At 8:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Talking to bj was like he was talking to the masses! That's how he always talked to us and that's how we knew bj as students.I am still praying for you all, especially Whitney and Lauren, school must be tough but it will all work out in the end.

 
At 8:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Brent and Deanna,

How good that you got to spend time with Whitney at dinner last night! We were together with David for his birthday (#24!!), having dinner, etc. Derek just returned from a youth ministers' convention, and it was awesome to spend sweet fellowship with them both. As parents, we have always known the value of spending time with our kids, but have been reminded lately that real communication, comraderie, and TELLING and SHOWING them how much we love them is of vital importance. It is just too easy to become preoccupied in our busy lives, shortchanging the ones we love the most....We have a new resolve to keep the important things the important things!

We're praying for y'all many, many times each day--we love you so much!

Jolene
Deer Park, TX

 
At 8:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Deanna: I am so happy you are back at PVE and teaching. The children are blessed to have you. I am praying for you on this difficult day.

Lori
Zionsville, IN

 
At 8:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for being willing to share so many of your memories with your blog family. Love Ya!

Always Praying,
Kailey<><

 
At 9:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The words, "My heart is spoken for" keep playing over in my mind, as I hear the Mercy Me song I have been listening to often over these last few days. And yet, even through the joy of knowing our Lord welcomes all of us who know Him, my heart breaks for the pain and grief you are all going through right now. So my heart feels torn. I am praying for you all, often throughout the day. I hope you can feel the prayers somehow lifting you up, keeping you moving ahead, even when you think you can't go another step.

Blessings be with all of you today.

Tina

 
At 9:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lifting you up in prayer today.
Indianapolis

 
At 9:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying for you today! I hope Deanna has a good day back at school. And that Whitney's day is better. May all of you feel "held" today!!

FBC

 
At 9:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Deanna and Brent -- I was at Christ Renews retreat this weekend. I shared BJ's life and your family's faith and ministering to all that would listen. Your family truly brought me to an incredible spiritual place in my life. I am so excited and want so much for others to see what a difference it makes to trust fully in God. I see Him all around me now. I see His daily miracles. Through you both and your children, I see that suffering can come and if you lay your life down for His, it can change everything. Look at what BJ accomplished in his short and beautiful life here on earth. And NOW he continues to touch and minister from the place he so longed for. And you - even through pain that we could not possibly imagine -- still reach to us and minister to us. I hope you realize that your suffering is not in vain -- nor was BJs. I hope and pray that brings some comfort in these days of anger and grieving. Know that I can't thank you enough. I am sorry it had to come through your hardship that I was able to lay my life for the Lord. I love you ALL! I pray that you, Deanna, can return to school and feel the love of those around you. I hope it can bring some comfort. Brent, I pray that you continue your journey through your anger and greif and place it before HIM. He is carrying you right now. Lauren - I pray that you are able to continue on your path of life and have BJ right there to show you that you can go forward in faith and in healing. Whitney - I pray that you have many around you to hug you daily. God bless each of you with tremendous peace today.

 
At 10:16 AM, Blogger natenamy said...

Deanna-- special prayers for you today as you return to your role as Mrs. Higgins at PVE! Praying that you feel His mighty arms around you today.

Brent-- praying that your journey and quiet times to think in your office/real stuffed animal nature reserve (that I love so dearly) bring you inner peace that only He can provide.

Lauren-- hope that school is going well for you. We are thankful to the many who have provided support for you and pray that you continue to feel encouraged and upheld by Him.

Whitney-- we are praying that you will be surrounded in a VERY special way the rest of this week. Hugs from us to you.

We love you all. We miss you too!

Amy (for Nate too)

 
At 10:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for being such an inspiration to all of us. Your are in our thoughts and prayers. We pray you have a wonderful blessed day.

 
At 10:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Deanna,

I just wanted to tell you that I hope that your first day back will bring you a joyful day. I know that sometimes little kids can sweeten the spirit. They can sometimes, when you don't expect it, say what you need to hear. Have a great day.

Laura

 
At 11:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Brent and Deanna,
I have not written for some time now but want you to know that you are still on my heart and in my prayers. Brent, the feelings you are experiencing are perfectly normal even to Christians when we lose a loved one. My sister-in-law lost her mother (my mother-in-law) and her husband within 10 days of each other last year. This was very hard on Mary as she could not be with her mom and her husband at the same time. Distance was a factor too. She never had time to grieve for her mom before she lost her husband to pancreatic cancer that went very fast...from diagnosis in April to death in August. I remember her sharing with me that one night she just cried and was mad at Bob and cried out loud , "Bob, why did you leave me?" Bob was a Christian as was her mom and she knew that they were both healed permanently but the pain that she experienced of the lonliness was the hardest to accept. She is doing much better now a year later but is not looking forward to the winter. She could not attend S.S. for a long time but has returned to SS and church and has started going out with their friends again after church. She always felt like a fifth wheel but time has helped her to deal with this. Whatever would we do without our church family and friends to help us through the tough times? I can't imagine going through such a tragedy and not have the Lord by my side or my church families. People that do not have this blessing, are people who are blinded and they need our testimonies to help them see the light.
May God continue to be close to you both and help you in your lonely days with such special memories to warm your hearts. Deanna, may the children you come in contact with today, bring you joy, comfort, and encouragement to face the days ahead.
Lauren and Whitney,
I am so glad that the Lord has blessed you with many good friends to encourage, comfort, listen and bring you hope again.
Thank you Lord for loving us all and being there for us each and every day to help us go on.
Love and prayers to all of you,
Jean in Santa Claus

 
At 11:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Deanna,
Praying you through that first day back.
Love,
Lisa R.

 
At 12:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for your words! I appreciate your updates on Lauren and Whitney, I have been wondering about them. I continue to pray for each of you daily, for strength for the day!
Indianapolis

 
At 1:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Family
I am praying for all of you through
your cycle of grieving.
Shock, denial, acceptance, anger,
shock, denial, accepatance, anger.
All of theese feelings are expected during your painful loss and for quite some time, theese feelings will keep circling through you.
Be your own best friend and allow those feelings out. Call on your friends to help and cry out to Jesus.
I am praying for all of you.
I hope your sadness will not weigh so heavy .
I'm with you Family praying for God to lift you up with srength and peace grow within your hearts.
Love and Hugs sent to each of you
Lisa Gresh/Meils
Indpls., IN

 
At 2:28 PM, Blogger Jessica & Todd Youmans said...

Brent & Deanna -
I am sitting here in between conferences (Parent/Teacher ones!) thinking of you both. Even still, in my quiet moments, my thoughts lie with you & your family. We had a Disciple Now weekend youth retreat with church this weekend & I remember signing up to be the host home for High School boys for different reasons, one of which was because I wanted BJ to spend a weekend with us, so we could get to know him even better. In a way that seems so tiny compared to you, I missed him over the weekend. He was mentioned, however, and you were all prayed for.

Deanna - I hope that your first day back to work was a good one. I know it had to be a daunting task that once seemed so normal, but I'm glad to hear that you're going back to the kids...I know they need you as much as you need them. I remind myself everyday as I'm coming into school that I might be the only piece of Jesus these kids ever get to see. I know that they will see Jesus in you, Deanna - I know I do.
I hope that I can be half the mom to Andrew that you are to BJ. I have finally come to understand through all this what a special bond Moms have with their boys. We love you all so much. We are looking forward to seeing you tomorrow night for dinner.
Love,
Jes, Todd & Andrew Y.

 
At 2:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good thoughts on being used by God. It is true that BJ "spoke to the masses" in one on one conversations. It was very inspiring. We're lifting you up!
Love,
Kayla
Dallas, TX

 
At 4:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Deanna,

I will keep you in my prayers as you venture back into your mission field at school. The children and staff are blessed to have you back.

Praying you through the pain, Lynne in Gray, Ga.

 
At 4:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Deanna,
Well, one day down. I hope it was a good experience for you. I prayed for you this morning as I have been doing for each of you each day. I just know that the Holy Spirit will give each of you what you need for the day. Thanks again to each of you for sharing your thoughts and feelings and the wonderful testimony of BJ.
Blessings to you all.

Susie
Evansville, IN

 
At 6:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Dad, it is truly a pleasure to be with your biological daughter. I love her more than words can express... thanks for sharing her with me. I love you all, Crazy Megan

 
At 6:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I continue to pray for you and your family. God will continue to strengthen and encourage. Tomorrow I'm doing Chapel and I want you to know tonights entry will be a part of my talk. BJ was correct, the Armor of God has to be recognized as an essential part of our equipping. We should be excited and we can't stop telling and loving until we too are reunited with our Heavenly Father! Praise His holy name, God's peace.
David Kohout

 
At 7:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I discovered another opportunity to share the joy of BJ tonight. I got a call from a friend at church. She was devastated - her best friend's daughter (young adult) lost her battle with depression and took her own life. I said I'd keep them close in prayer, but felt like I needed to do more. I began to compose an e-mail - including comforting thoughts I've collected over the years - to share with those struggling through grief. I was compelled to share BJ's story, the link to this site, and even a few of the specific messages. With kleenex box close at hand, I sorted through a number of comments, attaching them to my 'love note', again inspired by the remarkable story of BJ, his family, and all the friends and strangers brought together in Christ's Love.
Thanks for continuing to share your story with us. I continue to keep you close in my heart and in prayer. Sending lots of Love from Baltimore, MD.
Laura

 
At 9:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You made me think that our distraction does not change God's invincibility. He is that - invincible - regardless of our state of being... and that is a very good thing.

You are welcome for the reminder about the sword, and thank you because it was just as much a reminder to me.

Prayers are with you and your family...
AJ

Traverse City, MI

 
At 9:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

At school today we had our monthly faculty chapel and the facutly member who spoke had been in a bad car accident about a year ago and is still recovering. And she said something that made me think of your family. She talked about getting a card during a time when she could not read (she had severe brain damage) and the person told her that right now she would make a great prayer warrior. She was outraged... her she is laid up in bed and someone wants her to pray on behalf of others. She called her mentor to vent and her mentor said -- and this is what I thought was great!

The Holy Spirit is inside of you and He doesn't need you to read the Bible to Him.

It's just as Paul wrote to the Romans:
"And the Holy Spirit helps us in our distress. For we don't even know what we should pray for, nor how we should pray. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words."

Know that not a day goes by that I do not lift you up in my prayers. I think of you constantly.

With much love,
Laura Allyn (Oksol)

 
At 9:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just found out that you guys are coming to Reunion Weekend! I AM ELATED! i cannot wait to be blessed by spending some more time w/you guys! i love you both. and you too girls :) i'm praying for you all.

~kristin*

 
At 10:00 PM, Blogger Ashley Reagan said...

Love you guys and praying for you. Still working on the video...

Ashley Dawn

 
At 11:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love your analogies always. It helps me see how BJ was and how it relates to God or His Word. It makes my day and gives me a little "mini bible study" almost on those days when I don't have it. Your family continues to bless me with your wise words. Thank you! I'm praying for you!
Lots of love,
Lauren Szabo
Encinitas,CA

 
At 9:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am constantly amazed at how the Holy Spirit works in our lives...

As I sat in the computer lab of my school, in Tulsa, Oklahoma, I was checking my email and surfing the net (I should have been studying for something). I looked at the browsers history... Something I have never done on a public computer. Why do I care what sites other people have looked at? For some reason I did. I seen your web site. I checked it out. I have been steady in church for almost two years now. I admit to being a daily sinner as well. Things I have done in my life are unbelievable. Even after discovering Christ I always felt something was missing. It was BJ. Not really him physically, but his spirit. I realized I needed to stop letting past decisions hold me back and move on. If Jesus forgets them, so can I. I continue to grow closer to Jesus. This web sites helps keep me focused. Weekly I am checking back to see what phenominal inspirations are left for me. This family is so special. The individuals lives your family will touch are uncountable. I know you are proud of your son. Having never met him, I am as well. That boy has brought tears to my eyes many times from the spirit he has. And he will continue to, as I will keep checking back. I love you all, and thank you for helping to straighten out my priorities. I will keep you lifted up.

Kurt,
Drumright Church of the Nazarene

 
At 6:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i am so sorry you had to lose such a graceful child he will always be in our hearts and prayers. if thier only could be many like him in this world today. so i just wanted to know you have all our prayers even know we didn't know BJ that well he still touched many lives around the world just from watching it on the tv. he came to spread gods good saying and he did and i thank him for that.God called bj to be from all this terror in the world and he called one of his special Angels to come home.
always
ashley

 
At 6:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

dont leave me in my broken tears dont leave me in pudles full of tears.
dont go cry'n because i'm not here i will see you again in heaven .
yes i will see you again in heaven.
now don't you cry with those pretty eyes all wet filled with sadness.
soon you will see why i dont worry at all.
dont go cryn cause i'm not here.
dont go cyn cause i'm not here.
i will see you soon in heaven.

ashley williams
BJ in my prayers

 
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