Deanna and part of our Mexico team


Before entering vocational ministry, I worked for over 20 years with people who have developmental disabilities. I saw a wide array of brokeness and need in that time. The enemy seeks to destroy families through varied means, including the issues surrounding this population. Subsequently, the majority of those I spent time with were from broken homes.

I have so many memories and stories from those years. Recently, I've found myself thinking about them. I have recieved word over the past two years that many of these people have passed away.

Working with them was so rewarding. Their outlook on life, though most had few resources and little to look forward to (from a worldly perspective), was amazing. They loved life and relationships! I learned much from them.

As a man, I have a mind that responds to most things visual. Sometimes that is good, and other times, not so much.

I didn't used to believe that television had an impact on my thoughts or actions. Then I spent a week or two period, fasting from all forms of media. I was amazed how much my thoughts and attitudes were more like my Saviors through that period. I just didn't realize how subtly sin can enter and become a part of my life.

Things we recognize as "the norm" in our culture can turn your heart from His, one beat at a time.


One of the adults I worked with, carried a dual diagnosis of mild retardation and mild mental illness.

She did not look like one who had a disability. She was capable of having fairly intelligent conversations. She had a very hard life and upbringing. Part of her conditioned response to adversity, was to flee. I learned this the hard way.

I was managing a wholesale greenhouse that was a part of a social service orgnanization, at the time. My employees each had developmental disabilities in one form or another.

This woman did not work for me for long. Her 'fight or flight' response was highly developed on the flight side.

One day, after our morning break, it came to my attention that she was missing. Her supervisor had an encounter with her where correction was necessary. This resulted in her decision to leave...unnoticed.

I made several calls and then began a search.

Honestly, I was deeply concerned for her safety. She was wise to the art of flirting, but was not capable of fully processing the potential negative outcomes.

In my search, I began to visit the kind of places she had a history of fleeing to.

I entered one bar or strip club after another. To say I was a fish out of water would be an understatement. The things I saw, even in those late morning and early afternoon hours, were shocking to me.

How quickly the owners were to perceive the necessity to get their "dancers" up and working, upon my entry. I must have looked like easy prey.

As quickly as I could, I introduced myself to those in charge and stated my business... "I am seeking a missing person."

One establishment after another turned out to be a dead end. I was amazed at how many of these places existed within walking distance of our facility. I had not ever really thought about that, I guess.

Finally, upon entering one club, I found her sitting at the bar, smoking a cigarette and nursing a cup of coffee. She seemed very content.

I casually entered into conversation with her, and ultimately convinced her to leave with me.


How often in our culture do we flee difficulties to camp out in places we feel more comfortable? How many of these places would shock those who know us "Christians?"

Darkness does not seek light, it wants to remain in darkness.

Illuminating the darkness is what our lives are to be about. We are not called to judge or put down those we interact with, rather to bring them truth in His timing and as He opens opportunities before us.

Sometimes the subtle ways we embrace sin ourselves, result in unexpected relations with the most unholy of moments.

He desires for us to recognize these, lay them at His feet, and to go forward responding to how He seeks us.

His love for us brings change to our condition, and causes an increase in our desire to be in His light.

Often, what is hideous in the dark, remains active yet unnoticed until light is added.

We must ask Him to illuminate the dark places we retreat to that often reside within us.

He is faithful! Our desires change as we yield to Him.


dad

Posing with Evan in Mexico...


I have so often reflected on the story of Abraham and Isaac, as they built the altar of sacrifice together.

In earlier years, I thought it nearly impossible to comprehend... especially when viewing it through the lens of today's societal taboos, mores and norms.

Who could bind the arms and legs of their own child, hoist him atop an altar and raise the instrument of his death overhead, let alone actually take their life.

While my son was in the hospital and I entered his room, I daily saw a depiction of this story, and my soul would embrace it in ways I cannot find words to portray.

I drew comfort from it. I found discouragement in it.

It lingered.

I prayed.

It lingered more.

I continued to pray.

I still do.

I don't know that I will fully understand it's far reaching implications until I am able to sit down with Abraham and Isaac and reflect on that journey. I hope my son can be part of this discussion.

What I have understood from the story is that when we are called to sacrifice, God honors the attitude of our hearts, when that attitude is obedience. Through it, He blesses.

We will not always understand this in the moments of sacrifice. Sacrifice is usually accompanied by brokenness. It is vital that we cling to Him during these difficult hours/days/weeks/months/years.

In the story of Isaac, Abraham's obedience brought about great blessing. Isaac was spared due to his father's decision to do what God told him. His family was blessed for generations. And the generations would call him Father.

Not every story ends with lives spared. The consistent theme is glory and honor brought to God, and then blessing in sometimes intangible ways.

We are surrounded by those who suffer. Some because of their own poor decisions. Others at the imposition of another.

That God would send His only Son to die a hideous death is nearly incomprehensible. Yet we saw a depiction of this kind of willingness in Abraham and Isaac.

Blessing comes to each of us who call on the name of Jesus for Salvation, as a direct result of His unbelievable suffering.

When the whip found temporary grip amid His flesh, there was no relief. When the cross was thrust upon His back, there was a long road to death. When the hammer was lifted, there was no rescue. When the spikes severed nerves, no one held the soldier from pounding. When the spear was thrust, it emptied blood and water from His brokenness...

...and He gave it willingly. He suffered for our Salvation!

Perhaps we need to spend less time focusing on our perceptions of our own lack, and recognize that it cost Him, everything.

He now lives to intercede on your behalf and mine.

We may suffer for seasons, but His Salvation is eternal. He is worth it. Cling to Him, and He will hold and carry your burden.

Praise His Holy Name! Jesus!


dad

Our team in Mexico

Deanna and I just returned unscathed from a notorious border town between Texas and Mexico. What an incredible journey!

When our Lord calls us, He also makes a way for His will to be done. We had one of the best teams and trips we've ever experienced! Quite a blessing, during a time we celebrate the gift of the Christ child!!!

Our team was small, and there were concerns before we left. There were concerns while we were there. All were covered by your prayer and that of many others. We saw the hand of the Lord move in power as we saw many surrender their hearts to Him, and encouraged many believers.

There are so many stories of encounters of His divine intervention, that I could write for weeks about just them. I am amazed and thankful that I serve the Living God, who is most Holy!

We do need to pray for the church (call them PIB) we partner with, as our presence brings undue attention to them from the drug cartels. They are brave to allow us to come and serve, knowing they may fall under the scrutiny of those who intend harm for gain.

We did see the presence of these cartels. We also noted a tremendously beefed up military presence as federales were encountered everywhere we went. We are not a threat to them, as we are there to try and restore hope, where fear prevails.

We have seen a great decline in the number of people present in plazas, parks and other gathering places. Even those who reside in Mexico refuse to travel through this area, as it has become known for it's violence.

This would tend to make it seem foolish to travel there, especially with students. I struggled beforehand as I needed assurance that this WAS His will and the peace to go, in spite of the violence. He provided.

While we were there, violence broke out not far from where we were. I could even hear the sound of guns on occasion. However, I had no fear. He gave me complete peace in knowing, He was in control!

I suppose it is always easy to say this after the fact. But the truth is, those closest to me, know that beforehand, I struggled more with this trip than any I have led.

I was honestly surprised to have Him bless us so deeply. The students were amazing, their unity unequalled and our ministry anointed!

I feel as though I have received a fresh touch from our Savior, a Christmas gift of a very unique and enduring kind.

Our students entered with one purpose, share the Gospel, no matter the cost.

They did!

If there was a problem on this trip, it was reigning in their enthusiasm and channeling the uncommon energy. They wanted to share and didn't want anything to get in the way of it. I literally had students chasing people down at times, to be sure they heard about Jesus!

You KNOW who this reminds me of!

We saw many Salvations and many believers receive encouragement (including us)!


One of the young men on our team had served for two years in Belize when he wasn't a believer. He had been given everything as a child and even lived beachfront with an expensive car as a young adult. He was empty and broken, and went to Belize to serve and try to discover life's meaning.

He was confounded by a people who had nothing, but were so joyful. When he asked them why, they told him about Jesus. He began reading his Bible. He cried out to God and asked Him that if He was real, to send him a book in the mail that was more recent, depicting the life of a believer.

In two years, he never received any other books. BUT, the next day a book arrived in his mailbox...it's title, "I Would Die for You!" He surrendered his heart and his life to our Savior!

He is as passionate about Jesus as I've seen! He was such a blessing!

Another young man on our team became a believer just a few months ago. In fact, 5 months ago, he was in throes of death while on a recreational drug overdose at his school. All went black and he could not see anything. He knew he was dying. He cried out to God in that moment, to save him.

He did!

Right then and there life rushed back into him, and he has surrendered his life to serve. He was an amazing asset to our team. As we shared in a youth prison, his testimony was instrumental in 5 young men coming to Christ!

God does not make mistakes. He prepares those He calls whether or not they feel like they are. He uses their obedience to tear down walls and draw men and women to Himself.

I so humbled to serve. I thank God for His amazing provision, and this opportunity!

My attitude was not great going in, but I yielded it and my life to Him, and He blessed in incredible measure.

Praise God! From Him, blessings really do flow!


dad

Tucker's first Christmas!


This Christmas will be very different for Deanna and me.

We were blessed to have our girls and their boys in our home for a few days, earlier this week. We had a great time together. Being together with family at this time of year is extremely important to us.

However, this year, Deanna and I will experience something we have not experienced since before we were married. We will be alone at Christmas.

We love spending time with each other. But, almost 29 years of the Christmas season with our family, has us aching for that tradition to continue.

This year begs the question what is Christmas to us?

Is it about time with family?
Is it about getting gifts?
Is it about giving gifts?
Is it about lights?
Is it about time off of work?
Is it about feasts?

Or...

Is it about Jesus?

For many, this time of year brings on depression because they cannot or do not have the ability to have Christmas as it is portrayed in television and movies.

They cannot give enough because they have little to offer.

I think that is why I love the "Little Drummer Boy" song. Here is a great example of giving.

He gave not money, or material possessions. He gave from his giftedness, and it was more than enough.

When God chose to send His one and only Son so that we might have eternal life, He gave us ALL we would ever need. In Him, all needs are met, though we routinely try to meet them with that which will perish.

Those who recognize this do not get caught up in the 'Santa Christmas' our country would have us believe.

Doesn't mean there is not a gift exchange, but it does mean they truly celebrate the birth of our Savior above all else!

God the Father gave a gift that could not be replaced. He gave His one and only Son. He gave a piece of Himself because of His deep love for us!


In some small ways, ways we have understanding of what this means.

Though perhaps, we did not "give our son" as God the Father did, we did nonetheless, give our son. We gave him to our Savior when he was born. We sought to give him to the Lord each day. He did not belong to us.

At times, we clung too tight.

At times we failed to hold tightly enough.

Ultimately, he would honor the Lord with what he had. Like the Little Drummer Boy, he gave what he could. He gave it willingly.

I wonder if I have that same attitude this time of year?

I do find myself clinging tightly to Christmases past...with family.

I plainly see Christmas around a tree of red lights (Deanna's favorite), with hot chocolate and music proclaiming His birth, while my three children look with great anticipation at all that is about to be unwrapped.

This year, we will see the lostness of a city that has been handed over to the enemy where violence runs whatever course it chooses. We will proclaim the Truth of the One who was born to suffer and die that these same offenders might have eternal life.
So too, may those who are caught in the crossfire of the enemies unwrapping schemes.

Christmas is not about my ideas or traditions alone, though they are included.

Christmas is about letting the truth of a baby born to give all, move us to the point of doing the same.

We give because He gave. We suffer because He suffered. We have eternal life in Him.

Thank you Father for the gift of Your Son, Jesus!

Thank you for my Salvation!

You are my King!


love from Your child,

brent

Tucker!


Freedom is never free.

It always seems to come at the cost of sacrifice.

The ultimate example is Jesus. He was sent to this world as a baby, "grew in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man," and ultimately laid down His life that you and I might have eternal life, if we would surrender ours to Him.

This surrender seems to look different from person to person, and church to church.

Jesus said "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross and follow me." Mtw 16:24

Does this mean we basically live our lives as we want, with the primary difference being, we attend church on Sunday?

That is not what it is supposed to be. There is little sacrifice in that. However, that is where much of the American church resides. This is the "surrender" portrayed by many believers to those who have not yet met Jesus. Yet, it is of little value.

Church attendance does not make one a believer. When the separation comes that Jesus spoke of, in Matthew 25... "He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left."... Many who think they are sheep will find that not to be true.

While salvation is through grace and not works (Eph 2), when one surrenders to Christ, the desire He plants within is one of wanting to be faithful to Him, where we follow His heart, and do what He puts within us to do.

For too many, learning to deny that voice rather than self, has become the norm.

I imagine His heart breaks over this.

I also believe He struggles with some of our attitudes, even when we are faithful.

For example, each year, for about as long as I can remember, my family has come together between Christmas and New Years. We drive to an agreed upon location, spend four or five days together, and celebrate Him and the time with each other.

My family is very close. I have written of this often.

I have struggled this year with my attitude towards not being able to do this.

Yes, I am so very thankful and blessed that my family changed each of their plans to accommodate our schedule, and do this same thing at Thanksgiving. We had an incredible time! But, it isn't Christmas, and it isn't our tradition.

Tradition is not Scripture, but it is important as long as it doesn't supersede Scripture.

All this to say, I struggle with my attitude in leading a mission team to Nuevo Laredo, over the Christmas break. If I am brutally honest, I do not want to give in this way, at this time. I am not proud of this, but feel the need to be clear.

However, I know the Lord has a plan. I know I need to be in the center of that plan, regardless of ultimate outcome.

My God is faithful, and I know that no matter what the sacrifice, on the eternal landscape it will have been worth it! I know that the sacrifice of those going on this trip will mean the salvation of many who are lost!

How and why would I struggle with my attitude over this, when I know what the outcome for others will mean?

I just got a phone call from a dear friend whose youth group I was supposed to take to Panama over Spring Break. She cancelled the trip, because she only had seven sign up.

It seems their attitudes and priorities align with the ones I am struggling with over this Christmas time.

While I am frustrated for her, and for us, with the planning that has gone into it, and the lives that would have been saved had these been willing to sacrifice, I see my own attitudes in their decisions, and know I must repent and I must go!

If my sacrifice means someone elses salvation, I must go!

"But its not safe!" many will say.

For years I have told others that there is no safer place to be than in the center of His will.

Recently, our newly called pastor challenged this. He said that this statement is not Biblical. He said "there is no more dangerous place to be than in the center of God's will!"

In many ways, I know he is right. However, it doesn't change what He has called me to do.

How can anything else be more important than someone elses salvation? How can tradition gain higher attention from me, than obedience?

The answer is pretty simple.

It's the American way. Most of us are trained up this way, even when we grow up in church.

We do what we want, when we want, and don't get this Great Commission stuff in my face, because I tithe, and go to church. This is the prevailing attitude.

It's interesting that the directive from our Savior isn't, "go to church and do what you want with your life." Rather, it's "therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you."

Forgive me Lord!

Fill my heart with joy in serving, and a passion for those who need you in Nuevo Laredo! You ARE more important to me than tradition, but I am very thankful for it too!

If this steps on your toes this Christmas Season, then know mine are already aching in pain.


dad

Deanna and I waiting in line to ride the Christmas Train


Sunday evening, Lauren, Weston, Deanna and I went on the "Christmas Train." It is an event that occurs at Dry Gulch Camp, Oklahoma. A couple of 1800's era trains haul people through the countryside, past painted murals, and live actors portraying the story of Christ from Creation through the Resurrection. It is an extremely moving experience!

The train station is set in an old West town near Pryor, Oklahoma. The camp is owned by a church in Tulsa. They do an unbelievable job handling thousands of people with an all volunteer army, who attend to the needs of the masses through gift shops, coffee shops, arcades, restaurants, a cowboy/Christmas music venue, Carolers, etc.

I had never even heard of this, and when we were given tickets to this sold out event, I did not know what to expect. My near-sighted vision was shattered by this overwhelming experience.

I believe many come to experience the old west in the cold of winter (yes we were bundled up like we were at a ski resort) with all of the lights and ambiance. While here, they unmistakeably hear and see the Gospel portrayed! What an amazing event!


When we arrived, we headed to a restaurant and got something to eat. We sat cafeteria style with many others but enjoyed ourselves immensely!

After dinner we braved the cold and the line for the train. We had lively conversation and interacted with others as we waited. We laughed a great deal.

Somewhere in the line, a young girl started to watch me closely. We were nearly in the train station, when her father called out to me and said, "My daughter thinks you're Santa Claus!"

From the picture above, I guess you can see why. Still he found it necessary to postulate aloud why she might think this (as if he believed I might somehow be offended).

I was moved to laughter.

From then on, I noticed her watching me ever so closely. As a matter of fact, I began to realize others were paying me some abnormally close attention.

We traded silly faces and motorboat noises. She watched me through much of the train ride. I kept expecting her to come and climb into my lap.

It was a precious encounter and a great reminder of how children respond to the "magic" of the Christmas season.

Of course, we know there is no magic. There is our Savior.

He came to the earth as an infant to ultimately die for your sin and mine. We need only to call upon Him to be our Savior and Lord, at the time that He draws us close, and we will be saved.

This experience held some "magic" for me too. For a few minutes it was rather amazing to have her young eyes and heart full of expectation turned my direction.

Of course, I would fail her. I could never meet all of her needs.

My Savior can, however!

I was reminded of how incredible the Season of Celebrating Christ's birth was when my children were young. They too were so full of expectation and hope.

It is a grand reminder that we need to approach our Lord with the eyes and heart of a child. He will meet our needs and care for our lives.

I am so thankful for this! What a blessing to be in relationship with the King of kings and the Lord of lords!

Have a blessed Christmas Season! Experience it through the eyes and heart of a child, if you can!


dad (not Santa)

Tucker at his first Thanksgiving!


Thanksgiving was such a blessed time for us! My family gathered back in Indiana and spent a few days together, laughing, hiking, playing games, doing some work, and just enjoying each others company. I am so thankful!

There is just something so special about having this time together. I ache for those who don't have this privilege.

Among the family were 6 dogs. That was a bit crazy. We each brought ours, and they got along amazingly well! I am so thankful for that too!

My sister Lynae and her family have a dog they rescued from a shelter. She is a year old and her name is Chloe. She has some serious issues with her rear "knees." After a period of activity, they seem to become non-functional. She either whines in pain, or has to lay down. She has so much puppy left in her, that it is difficult for her to remain still.

Perhaps her own issues have made her more sensitive to others pain. She enjoys being around people, but does not crave being touched or petted as most do.


We had some dear friends visit on Saturday. They have also experienced the loss of a son. Their pain is more recent, and the journey is long. Coming together is such sweet fellowship.

When they arrived, my family had all gone out for a bit, so it was just them and Deanna and me. We were seated together by the fireplace to have some intimate time.

I confess I was amazed at what happened next.

I had watched Chloe ignore many attempts at affection from others. I had seen her curl up on her bed and just enjoy being present in the same area as people. I had never seen her do this.

This was our last afternoon together for the week, and we were leaving in the wee hours the following morning. I thought I had seen Chloe's personality and knew who she was.

When our friends arrived, she promptly came over to the grieving mother, and curled up on her feet, and leaned against her legs.

She did not seek attention. She only sought to give love to one who is hurting badly.

This could have been so easily missed. With so many dogs around, the behavior would generally seem normal.

It wasn't for her. She had not done anything like this during our stay together.

Chloe seemed to have a unique sensitivity to the deep emotional pain that most would not see.

She got distracted at one point and left for a bit, only to return to the same position.

She did not want to be petted. She did not want to be spoken to. She just wanted to minister to the needs of the broken.

While we enjoyed a time of conversation and fellowship, I learned a very valuable lesson from my canine friend. Ministry is never about me.

I need to just give, without the need to be given back to.

I am so thankful for the time we had to share. I am deeply blessed to have such precious friends and family. I am deeply grateful to have an encounter that spoke volumes without a word being aired.

Give to the place of need in the lives of others. Use words if absolutely necessary.


dad