One of the primary ways we could show affection for Beej while he was in the hospital was to stroke his hair. There was little else we could do as he was hooked up to so much medical paraphanalia. I know some of you recall the story about how Beej reacted to that, written back in August or September.

When your child is in this situation, you are so limited in what you can do to express yourself. The sense of touch communicates volumes. Unfortunately, some use it or should I say abuse it, and leave hurt and broken people in their wake. This was nothing like that. This was our way to say, "Beej we are still here, and we love you so very much." I do believe there were times that he was aware of that message as we tried to convey it.

I look forward to one day finding out from him what he was aware of during those long six weeks. What an amazing battle he fought. The most remarkable non-verbal reaction we saw was the day someone Beej admired dearly came to visit.

Beej was heavily sedated throughout his fight. On this day, while he was on ECMO, and had tubes entering and exiting his body, he rested six feet up in the air on his bed. The bed was supported by a motorcycle jack to raise it that high. It needed to be elevated for gravity to maximize return blood flow to the ECMO pump.

We had to ascend a ladder/platform to get up to his bedside. When his special guest arrived, I climbed up and told a normally sedated and medically paralyzed BJ that Dr. Walker Moore had come to see him. His legs came up into the air, and his left arm rose, all in an effort to get up and see Walker. Never before or after did any visit evoke such a response. I was stunned. I didn't think he could do that if he wanted to. Beej's reaction showed us how much he loved and looked up to Walker. Especially since he was not conscious, even then.

I often reflect on those last six weeks and can still feel his hair passing between my fingers. Even after he left us, that was the only way to feel him close... a new way, a learned way, but it brought a small sense of comfort. I remember having to take turns with Deanna, Lauren and Whitney, as we all wanted to remember...

Not long ago, I was talking to my sister Lynae. She shared with me something that was both comforting and emotional. She conveyed that as she was grieving and praying for us, she received a very distinct picture from the Lord. Jesus was seated, and was holding our heads (Deanna and mine) in His lap. He was stroking our hair.

We could so closely identify with this visual. It stirred so much inside of us...how we longed to feel His touch and comfort...How we longed to feel Beej's hair pass through our seeking fingers just one more time. Oh what a blessed picture, and it was healing as well.

It reminded me immediately, and specifically of Revelations 3:21
"To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne."

I was comforted by two ideas. The first, that BJ was seated with Christ on His throne. How awesome and powerful is that? Second, that as they were seated there, Christ's activity in those moments was bringing comfort to us by holding us near, and letting us feel His touch in the familiar way we had come to so dearly understand in BJ's last six weeks.

What a God of Comfort we serve. How worthy is He!

dad

Just to let you know, for Thanksgiving, all four of us are heading to Louisiana to take part in the relief effort. We are looking forward to serving.

Also, if you are planning to attend the Christmas Dinner Theater at Christ Wesleyan Church in Winston-Salem, N.C. tickets must be purchased by November 25th. They will not be available at the door.