Today is Deanna's Birthday. She is $^ years old. She is every bit as beautiful today as the day we married. She has invested so much of herself in our children. They each are much of who they are because of their mother. On a day that is a celebration, it is tarnished a bit, because Beej wasn't here to bring her breakfast in bed (remember our tradition?).

Parents and siblings birthday's were days he not only didn't mind getting up early for, he did it pretty faithfully. He liked to "make" breakfast for us. Okay, so "making" breakfast meant pouring cereal, or toasting the bagel and smearing cream cheese on it, but in today's world that still counts.

We have certainly become an "easy cheese" society. And that was one of Beej's favorite foods. Deanna would buy it at the grocery, and he'd find it upon her return home. Later, he would put it on the shelf...with just enough left to not throw it away, or to allow him to say, "I didn't eat it all" (I can't tell you how many almost empty cans I found on the shelf through the years).

He enjoyed putting thought into gift buying. When he bought you something, you knew he hadn't just picked something up. He looked for just the right thing... at least in his mind. Yes, I got a pink shirt for Father's Day. Not something I would have chosen, but something I now wear proudly, because Beej thought it was a good idea.

Deanna has been suffering from not knowing for sure how Beej viewed her. She knows that he loved her, and that as his mother, there was a bond there. But his absence and corresponding silence causes each of us to wonder from time to time where we stood, with one we loved so much.

Beej treated his mother with the utmost respect (well, most of the time). He freely hugged and kissed her in public... never shying away out of embarrassment. He was sensitive to her feelings, and wanted to make her happy. He strived to please her, and found joy in her compliments. He had a much better relationship with his mom than many of the friends or acquaintances he spoke of. He was thankful for her. He looked up to her. He carried a glow with him when he talked about her, just as she did for the nine months she carried him. Plus the almost 16 years she molded him.
He often accompanied her to the store, or movies, or King's Island (they both loved roller coasters). He gave more love to her in those years than some mother's see in a lifetime.

It's just that she wants...more. I wish I could give her the more that he cannot. She deserves it. Believe me when I say, she has earned it.

I honestly believe that the Lord Jesus will fill that seemingly unquenchable and abiding ache, in a way that only the (a) Son (son) can.

Happy Birthday my love! I am so thankful for you and your influence on our children.

I love you more than words can convey,

brent


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Please pray for Lauren as she is having one of her most difficult weeks at school, to date. So much due, still behind and playing catch up. She covets your prayer support.