There is a situation that occurred while BJ was in the hospital that I have not shared, as I did not want to denigrate my siblings in Christ. I feared reflecting an attitude that was contrary to my Savior's. However, I find this story keeps surfacing, so I am going to share it. Please hear my heart, though. I am sharing it now to open our eyes that we might not repeat any such folly.

We had been at the hospital for a few weeks, when some friends who are in a gospel quartet were going to participate in a national event, and requested permission to share BJ's story. They encountered a man who had a national television show for their style of music. They were carrying flyers about BJ's plight and asked him for any assistance he could give in soliciting others to pray for Beej.

The connection with this man seemed to take off. Plans were made for him to interview me along with one of the pastor's from our old church (who knew BJ well).

Deanna and I were living at the hospital. Home was an hour away, and there was nothing there for us at that time. We had a few items of clothing, and we wore them repetitively. The temperature fluctuates little in the hospital, we did not go anywhere, so what we had to wear was it.

The pastor arrived to escort me to the station for the interview. We were dressed similarly. Shorts, polo/casual shirt, and sandals. We went to the reception area to check in. Our party was contacted and came to greet us.

Upon his arrival, he seemed confused and concerned. He was at a loss for words, and seemed to stammer. I could not figure out what was wrong. He escorted us into the studio where we were to be interviewed. His confusion level seemed to grow. So did his frustration.

Finally, he said, "I just can't go on like this."

Now I was bewildered. Then I caught a glance of him looking me up and down, followed by "my audience just won't understand." Next he said, "I thought a pastor from your church was coming."

My friend replied, "I am one of the pastors."

He said, "I just can't go on like this, maybe you could write out your story, and we can get it on the air."

I confess, it took me several moments to process what had just happened. As I sat down to write out BJ's story, it finally sunk in that we were being rejected because we did not have on a coat and tie. We did not look good enough to go on the air!

Now I was fighting for composure. I tried to focus my energy into putting his story onto paper. I struggled to do so. I could not believe what had just happened.

In those moments I became very selfish minded. My son lay dying in the hospital because he had been faithful to God's call. He was literally suffering for the cause of Christ, and I had not left his side in a long time as my place was with him. I had made a decision to leave and do this interview thinking it would point to Christ, and increase the prayer cover Beej would receive.

Upon arrival, I was rejected because I was not dressed up enough... it wasn't even Sunday! I said to my pastor friend, "Now I know what Jesus meant when He spoke to the Pharisees' about their skewed desire to appear in flowing robes and be seated in places of honor!"

He was embarrassed and apologetic though it had not been his fault. He was livid over the situation.

I returned to the hospital to find that I had missed what would turn out to be Beej's last "awake" moment. He had opened his eyes, and communicated with Deanna. He would never do this again.

By God's grace and strength, I was able to keep my emotions and frustrations in check. I knew what impact this might have on Deanna's fragile state, so I did not tell her what happened until months later.

Even then, the disbelief boiled over into anger, and we processed it together.

When what we look like in desperate times is more of an issue than the issue itself, something is grossly wrong with our priorities.

I am not a television personality, and I do not have an audience therin, to try and please... save Christ Himself. I do not have to worry about ratings for my livelihood, so perhaps my view is from the cheap seats.

Regardless, having the attitude of Christ in this situation, it seems to me, would have dictated dispensing with formality, and embracing the broken.

Perhaps this is why I walked this path. Maybe I needed to learn to minister from this place, and not the other.

At any rate, I am not bitter, I just want to be mindful that I never impose this kind of incongruity onto another. When that person who has little, comes into my church, or even into my path, I need to reach out, not look down. They do not need me to condescend, they need me to embrace.

dad


Brad is recovering well. He is not without pain, but is healing. Thank you for praying.

Thank you Allen family for the Inca Kola!!! It arrived yesterday, in great shape!!!