Monday, January 07, 2008

You would think by now we would be used to "letting go." We are not. Yesterday, we moved Whitney to the Dallas area. It was not an easy thing to do. She has been led of the Lord to complete her final 2 1/2 years of nursing school at the Univ of Texas Arlington.
When she lived in Indy, she had a support system...my brother and close friends
who watched out for her, took care of her. Now she lives closer to us (Yay!) but is still 4 hours away, and no friends or family she knows will watch out for her.
I am finding I am forced to trust in a new way, and it is not coming easily. I am struggling to think about anything else. This is part of growing up, I realize (for her and for me). She has done nothing but make us proud of her decision making, and her ability to plan and work within a set of circumstances. Now, all of this will be tested.
Before we left for Dallas, a friend offered me their GPS unit. I was a bit apprehensive at first, but found it to be far too easy to use, to not do so. The only thing was, as the judge and jury for the lady's voice emanating from the unit, we could not make informed decisions. It was either do what she says, or disregard it and do our own thing. We weren't sure where we were going, and she seemed to know. Texas is apparently far too big for our atlas to list all the little state roads. The result was that we never knew where we were going unless we had been on that road before.
I don't like driving in the Dallas area. It is confusing, and I get frustrated. I chose to rely on 'the voice.'
Since we were in two cars, I received fairly frequent calls from my daughters (who had a more detailed map) saying, "WHERE ARE WE GOING, THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!"
I tried to calm them, and to encourage them to trust 'the voice.'
Oh my! The result, was that the 'little lady' randomly would stop communicating at the times we needed her most! More than once, she would fuss at us to "turn this direction" or "stay in this lane." That found us swerving through traffic at the last minute on multiple occasions, to make our exit. She is supposed to give us warning. That is how the unit works. She really needs to work on her communication skills!
Whitney spoke by phone to the couple she is moving in with, and was told, "you know you can't get here from there.
Those were not encouraging words. After actually getting there from where we were, I wanted to fire our 'little loaner lady!"
It's okay though, on the way home, I paid her back. I made her work very hard! I programmed in the address at home and then consistently did not follow her directions, forcing her to repeat in an annoyed voice, "recalculating!" I don't think she is supposed to sound annoyed. I don't think computer voices are supposed to show any emotion. I wanted her to feel my pain. I think I was successful.
Leaving my Whitney in a city so large I fear it will swallow her is all about trusting the Lord. We know she is supposed to be there. We have seen his hand of provision. As parents, we just want her to be less alone.
Trusting the Lord through this time is very much like trusting 'the voice' from the GPS unit. When He speaks I need to listen and respond in obedience. When He doesn't speak, I need to listen anyway, so that I am ready when He breaks the silence. He knows where we are headed even when we don't.
There are going to be those who say, "you shouldn't be doing that," or "you can't get there from here." It would be easy and even make sense in some situations, to listen to those voices. However, we know that He is in control, and we have to surrender ours.
A huge part of me wants to hover over her to make sure she is alright.
Fortunately, I serve a Savior who is doing just that!
Thank you Lord for looking out for my Whitney. Help me not to grieve so, over her absence! I do trust you and know that your way is better than my own. I trust your wisdom far above that of the GPS lady's. I know you will not lead her on random paths, no matter how random they may appear to me. Thank you for loving her more than I do!
brent

6 Comments:

At 10:36 AM, Anonymous kristin nicole dutt said...

HIGGINS!

i love you! i miss you all!

i'm so excited about the book, and i'm so excited about Whitney's big move.. and i'm very excited about see you all so soon!

WOOOOOOOOOO!

~kristin

 
At 12:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I understand Brent. I took my son to college in the Upper Pennisula of Michigan, Marquette, a good 12 hour drive from Cleveland, a few years ago. Driving home was painful. Especially as I drove over the Mackinac Bridge between the upper and lower, every bone in my body wanted to go back, get him and bring him home where he 'should' be. But we know they really belong to the Lord and are only in our care for a short time. So we let go, trusting He can watch better than we can. Even when they are all alone without support. There they can learn what trusting and following is really all about. Praying for you as always my friends.
Mark \O/

 
At 2:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

God Bless,
Greenfield, Indiana

 
At 3:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Brent,
My son Tony has a garmen, It has had us lost at least three times now. The recalulating is annoying. I miss your family so much.
Tammy

 
At 5:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Therefore we do not lose heart...We fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." -2Corinthians 4:16,18

 
At 12:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO THE BOOK I HAVE BEEN BLESSED BY THIS BLOG AND I THINK WHITNEY LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE MARLA...THEY REALLY RESEMBLE ONE ANOTHER...MARLAS FRIEND IN CALIFORNIA RONA

 

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