Tuesday, December 16, 2008


Lauren and Joshua share some Christmas love


Deanna and I were live on Moody Radio this morning. For those interested, you can go to this link and listen to todays archive, http://www.mbn.org/GenMoody/default.asp?SectionID=1304B62B188B43F39763700C8C9279CD. I believe it will be posted after 9:00 am Central Time. If you cannot get there with that link, then google Moody Radio Chicago, and click through to the morning show link with Mark Elfstrand.

It has been such a mercy from the Lord that we continue to be requested for interviews, where we get to talk about BJ, and his life of obedience. For any parent who has lost a child, being able to talk to people who want to listen is very important. The healing happens little by little with conversations with those who will bend their ear towards you.

This past Sunday, Deanna woke up having had a dream with Beej in it. Perhaps she will write of the dream sometime while she is off for Christmas break. I don't know the full extent of the dream.

What I do know, is that as she began to tell me about it, my breath left me. We were suddenly choked up. It is hard to describe how the grief can overwhelm you without warning. You are fine one moment, and the next, you can't breathe, your pulse races, and streams bathe your cheeks. Inside, it can feel so desperately lonely.

Even though we are together, it can feel like the other does not understand or does not care. Neither is true, but in the moments of angst, little helps. You just have to keep crying through these times.

I received a call from a new friend recently. He lost his son on the mission field more recently than we did.

His question was so familiar. "Do you ever feel like you just can't do it anymore?"

"All the time!" I replied.

This is such a journey and does not have an end point, save perhaps, when we are reunited. It gets a bit easier as time passes, but even that is excruciating to deal with.

The intensity of how you miss your child is a full body response and experience. Some days it wears you down far more than others. For us, it has been three years, and we still desperately miss him. For them, this will be their first Christmas without their son. They will head to the land he ministered in for Christmas, and walk with those he had impact on.

Healing will come in waves for them on this journey. It will be bittersweet, yet so very necessary!

Learning to cope with life after devastating loss is only accomplished one breath at a time, and with God's immeasurable Grace. I remain clueless how parents who are not believers either cope or continue. Christ is such an integral part of healing.

No doubt He uses times of loss to draw the hurting to Him. Sheep without a shepherd do not know any way other than their own. Take care of self at all costs. This instinct can and often does kick in and destroy the lives of those left behind.

Fortunately, we are privileged, you and I, to be able to share with them the deep things of God. His heart of compassion, His limitless love, His desire for time with us, and His will that we not perish apart from Him.

We get to tell others of this love! It is our privilege. It is our blessing. It brings Him glory.

A friend of mine, who is a senior in college, wrote me overnight to tell me of a young man who was a crossroads in life. He is there because she was obedient. She had told me a week ago she would be meeting with him and hoping to share with him.

God opened the door! She has met with him twice, and he is trying to understand what is happening.

We are privileged to pray for Peter. We can ask the Lord to intervene and bring Light to his dark and weary soul! We also can walk in obedience to our Lord just as she did.

It doesn't matter who we are in the world, because who we are in Christ is what He will use to draw others to Himself. No matter what our pain, or hurts from the past, present or future...He is already there, and has a plan.

We are privileged to be a part of it, if we will lay down our lives, take up our cross and follow Him! Amen!


dad

3 Comments:

At 11:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

God bless,
Greenfield, Indiana

 
At 12:23 PM, Anonymous mona said...

I heard you this morning on Moodystation and my heart went out to you and your wife for the loss of your son. God Bless you and your family. May the Lord keep you strong always.

 
At 8:31 PM, Blogger BiancaLopez said...

Thank you for your son's story it has touched me in ways i thought it could not. The book I Would Die for You By: Brent Higgins, Deanna Higgins is an inspiring and life changing story.I have been to a mission but not to an extent of the passion that BJ showed. When i saw the book at the book store i had to buy it, It felt like i was been drawn to it. Thank you once again, as a 16 year old myself i see im never too young to accept Christ and let him speak through me. Even though across the world here in Australia i can feel the power it draws. God Bless your family.

 

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