Over the last 6 years, I have watched many young men and women serve. Some have been inspirational.

However, my heart has grown increasingly heavy as I have watched many who have "tasted and seen that the Lord is good," return home from and serve self.

It is not my intent to judge or to cast dispersions. I am simply broken over what I see happening.

My son grew up with many who sought the Lord. He, like they, struggled from time to time. What I see too many doing now, has much to do with doubting truth and embracing worldly comforts (deceptions).

More and more seem to abandon faith. In this respect, I am thankful for his early departure, yet grieved because I know he spoke truth into others when he saw them struggle.

Who is speaking truth to them now?

The enemy seems to have their ear.

I recently counseled with a student who revealed a significant missions calling on their life. I asked many hard questions to be sure this individual was seeking and glorifying Him and not just misunderstanding potential conviction from the Holy Spirit.

They assured me they were making godly decisions and doing what was right.

A brief visit to their page on a social networking site, revealed something quite to the contrary. My heart fell. I have seen this over and over.

Why do we think we can hide our sinfulness from Him when we don't even try to shield it from each other? Or is it that we just have accepted as normal this Sodomic approach, with Gomorrahic attitudes to living, that we feel no measure of evil is really wrong as long as we are enjoying the choices?

I have learned much about grace and am so very thankful for it. In my own life, I am in constant need of it. So are others.

When I see these things happen, I recognize how undeserving we are to receive it.

I am weary of failure in my own life and in others. I cannot imagine the deeply discouraging aroma that emanates from those of us who say we believe, but aren't surrendered.

Lord God, I am so sorry for this! I am sorry for failing you! I am sorry for the lack of leadership and teaching, and for not setting the example you desire.

Forgive me Lord. Forgive us as believers for being more interested in our level of comfort than the measure of obedience you call us to. We are vile. We need surrender. We need revival.

When our systems fail, we seek name changes rather than corporate heart surgeries. We seek to blame others for personal shortcomings. Many don't even care as long as their bellies are full. Ever increasing appetites are never sated, because of our hunger for the wrong things.

I am not speaking of those who don't know Him. I am talking about believers. I am talking about me.

Lord you have shown us how to live, yet we seem to prefer dark rooms and death. We seem to believe that because we cannot see you, that you cannot possibly see our hearts, our motivations, our examples.

Adam and Eve hid behind fig leaves. We hide by covering our eyes and closing our ears to your Word.

Lord, you are worthy. Please forgive our complacency, our contentment, and our consumption of most things material.

I am broken.


dad