Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Heaven continues to be on my mind... The thing I find the most comfort in is that we will know each other in heaven. We will still be ourselves, we won't "morph" into something or someone else. Relationships here on earth MATTER and will continue in heaven! God originally made us for companionship, and fellowship with friends and family will be deeper, sweeter and more joyous in heaven. Why wouldn't they be? It's heaven! Thank you Kristin for the reminder of our discussion. Often we feel so limited by time constraints and want so much to spend more time with our family and friends. Just think, in heaven, we'll have all the time in the world, and Beej will be waiting to greet us. A quote from Dr. Alcorn "God is our father, and fathers delight in their children's close relationships."

My mom was telling me about a pastor who was killed instantly in a car crash but came back to life when a minister stopped to pray for him. It's a book called "90 minutes in Heaven" by Don Piper. He waited two years to share his experience partly because it seemed too sacred to put into words and partly because he thought people would think he was nuts. Even though his experience has been well received, he continues to feel the vulnerability in sharing and we can definitely relate with that.

Still considering all the things we can know and think about heaven, what a great place to look forward to for Christians, yet it feels so far away... I still want to argue with God and be mad at times, our lives are forever changed with the loss of BJ. He had so much potential, we need him, his boldness was so rare and on and on. Sometimes I'm still tortured by "what ifs" and "why didn't we," when the bottom line is that God had the power to save him, no matter how sick he was. We believed. We definitely had adequate prayer cover. Don Piper only had one person pray him back to life, so the power lies with God. All of you and your responses have really helped us know "why" all this happened. It doesn't bring BJ back of course, but to see a purpose in the grief, to see how God is working in so many other lives is good. This thanksgiving, we can be thankful amid our grief.

When I got to school yesterday, I found some very thoughtful things on my desk: A gas card, a Starbucks card, a CD and a "sharing your heartache" card. Friends continuing to reach out and care and I am so appreciative.

"These three remain: faith, hope and love but the greatest of these is love."
I Corinthians 13:13

For such a time as this, my friends.

(AweStar reports that the Memorial DVD's have all been shipped. They are still available to all interested.)


At 7:58 AM, Blogger Lattany said...

Thank you for continuing to share your heart. It's a blessing.

At 8:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank You for today's blog it has been something have been thinking about myself. Have an AMAZING and BLESSED day, im praying for you!

At 9:55 AM, Blogger Kim Mierau said...

Deanna, I'm glad people are looking out for each of you, wherever you are. Can I thank you again for Lauren? She is so amazing. I am so thankful to have her as my friend and roommate. Love *Kim

At 11:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good Morning Deanna & Brent...

We left for a family vacation - and I don't think I can miss 3 days from the family blog spot! Wow, I am sitting here trying to re-gather myself to go back out to Disney after catching up on the latest posts!

While we haven't been able to check in, we have continued to lift you all up in our prayers.

I LOVE Randy Alcorn's perspectives & jump start to our heaven thoughts. You MUST read "Deadline" next...it was his book before Heaven.

We love you! Thank you for the wonderful reminder that some little things (toothpaste on the sink) don't matter and some little things do matter.

Tammy for the McMahans

At 11:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At 12:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

love you guys, prayin.
-Brittany Allen

At 12:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Our ,now, signifcant three group danced for joy to our Lord in the cold streets of Oklahoma last night. Barbara Ann shared how their team had done the exact same thing in Peru and of the joy she felt in seeing Bj join in the worship. For me, it was a small little glimpse of the amazing worship your son is experiencing in heaven.

Thank you for your continued intercession on our behalf. I continue to keep you in my prayers and be blessed by your words. Have an amazing Thanksgiving experience.

Experiencing Him for such a time as this,

Piedmont, OK

At 12:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgins Family,

Thank you for continuing to share this journey. Your writings are such a blessing. Sometimes after I read one of your posts, I feel God nudging me to write my thoughts; but I hold back. I convince myself that I do not have anything to say that you do not already know or someone else could share in a much more profound way. However, today I am not going to fight His urging. Today on the way to work I was thinking about why all the prayers for BJ did not work. I feel like I have been able to verbally say all of the "church answers" about why God didn't answer our prayers but inside I am conflicted. As I tried to analyze my thoughts again, I realized that through out the course of BJ's illness I really begin to distort the reason we prayed so hard. Your words Deanna are so perfect today. Through our prayers we demonstrated our faith, our love, our compassion. We know that God could have saved BJ. He holds the power. How beautiful.


At 12:45 PM, Blogger Lynn Andrews said...

Thanks your for sharing your heart so openly and I pray that you feel all the love that is sent your way every day. Through your sadness and grief, you have touched so many lives as did your beautiful BJ. Through you, he is still reaching so many!

God's speed and grace on your trip this week. I am thankful for all of you, the Awestar young people, and this wondeful blog family.

May God bless you abundantly!

Love in Him,
Macon, GA

At 1:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bless you Deanna
Thank you for sharing so much of yourself. Our family is praying with you always.
Hoping your day is good.
How nice of your friends to leave you those gifts yesterday!!

From Mother to Mother
I always say extra prayers for you Deanna throughout the days, my heart aches for you. I am praying you have continued peace grow in your heart and a greater strength prevail every day. I send a big hug to you and ask our Lord to continue holding you up.
Love and prayers to you and your Family.

Indpls., IN

At 2:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Deanna, I try so hard to find the words to express my gratitude for lighting a path to an understanding that is not of mine, but of His. It's not easy to lean on His understanding or His will, but it is so freeing - so peaceful when you finally let go. When you finally realize that you don't have to understand, but TRUST. Trust that He knows why. That there is a reason for His will to be done. That His Glory is met if you allow yourself to see it or grasp it.

It is no mistake that BJ lived as long as he did during his illness. It is no mistake that this blog is still ministering. It is no mistake that BJ is in the LIGHT OF HIS GLORY and is complete.
Thank you for continuing to share. I pray for a peaceful, safe and fulfilling Holiday for you and your family.

At 2:09 PM, Blogger Deanna said...

It's been a while since I've written, but I want you to know that I'm constantly in touch with your blog site! And as Thanksgiving rapidly approaches, I want you to know how very thankful I am for your special family.

May you have a blessed Thanksgiving....one of rejoicing and remembering.


At 2:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh family...how I wish I was with you right now! How I wish that we were all in heaven at the feet of Jesus worshipping along side of Beej. But we are still here...finishing the task that the Lord has set before us. Praise the Lord for that. He has chosen us to finish what BJ start...the evangelization of the whole world! Who am I that the Lord would choose to use me to accomplish His purpose. He could do it without me...but He has blessed me by making me a part of his global purpose. That just knocks me flat on my face! Know that I pray for y'all and think about you constantly. I love you mom and dad....and sisters!


At 3:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

As I sit hear with tears flowing and a pain in my heart for you and your family over the loss of Beej and the loss of my beloved grandaughter Nikki and realize that I hyave asked the same questions... Why did God allow Nikki to die and her family to suffer so and why didnt our prayers work??? It is good to know that I as well as you know that all is in Our Loving Fathers Hands and all we have to do is trust in him and and look forward to the day when He and those we love will greet us in heaven..How this site is ministering to my heart and helping with the grief in my heart...Praying for you...Also I am getting good resourses for my reading such as 90 minutes in Heaven which I did not know about..In Christian love..Marlas friends in California

At 4:13 PM, Blogger Ashley Reagan said...

Just want you all to know that you have been such a blessing to me. May you have a blessed Thanksgiving and safe travil. Praying for you always! :)

Ashley Dawn

At 6:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Deanna,
May God watch over you and your family as you go to minister to others who have lost everything including some loved ones in the Hurricanes. I am amazed how you all continue to serve others in the midst of your grief. You are truly a wonderful family that the Lord picked out to be parents to three children who love the Lord! God knew that your family would be able to minister to the rest of us and I am truly thankful for the comfort He continues to send to you through other people. We serve an Awesome God!
Be safe, have fun, laugh, cry and love each other during the Thanksgiving Holiday. We all have much to be thankful for this year. Thank you for your reminders to us.
God Bless you guys!
Love from Santa Claus,
Jean Peters

At 7:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If ya'll pass through West Monroe, Louisiana coming or going please stop in at Bennigan's right off of I-20. My husband is part owner and he would love to feed ya'll a good meal. We live across the street from Good Hope Baptist Church where Deanna's dad used to preach.

Carole Hutto Guevara

At 8:53 PM, Blogger Praying in Pink said...

Without knowing about the blog postings, my youngest three children were discussing heaven just yesterday. They wondered if their older brother Samuel, born at 22 weeks, will be a baby in heaven? Will he seem older than they are, as his birthdate would show?

I told them that Scripture doesn't answer these questions. . .but it does tell us that we will see and recognize him. How comforting. . .and in the meantime, he is worshiping Jesus--and maybe getting his hair stroked as well.

Trusting that you will be HELD through your days of ministry and experience joy in the journey!

At 10:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm touched, again. I'm also praying for you.
I probably won't check in again until after Thanksgiving, but I want to let you guys know that I'm thinking an awful lot about you, and praying continually for you. You inspire me in a way I hope to inspire.
I love you guys.

At 11:11 PM, Blogger Barbara Ann said...

I just love to think about heaven. It gets me so excited! We were talking about the biblical basis for missions last night in our S5 group, and just thinkning of how there is going to be a representative from every tongue, tribe, nation, and people group there....WOW!! I get so excited even as I type this! It places even more of a calling on my life of how I am called to GO into all the world and proclaim Christ to all peoples...really how we are all called to GO...

I still think of how BJ saw in the first instance of being in heaven everything that we will see of God's glory while on this earth...ah, my heart just beats for it!

I am so excited that you get to serve in Lousiana this thanksgiving. I pray for that extra glimpse of God's glory for you!

love, Barbara Ann

At 11:26 PM, Blogger Danzeisen5 said...

thank you so much for continuing to share such wonderful insights with all of us. I am so uplifted each time I read this sight. My heart is heavy, but God shines a light in my spirit when I read both your words and Brent's words. Thank you for this - you will never know how much it means to me...
I will really miss you this Thanksgiving, it truly won't be the same and I wish I could meet you in Slidell. I don't think Rich shares my desire to return to that particular city yet!! I know you will be a blessing and pray that you will be blessed.


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