A year ago we were aware of the unfolding tragedy that Katrina brought to the Gulf coast. It seemed for days and days... actually the remainder of our time in the hospital, Katrina was the vamp that all of the news reported on. It is unfathomable to see and know of all the destruction that she brought. Most of us were somehow touched by friends or loved ones who were impacted by the storm.
Simultaneously, a friend of ours named Jim wanted us to be aware of a new cd by Casting Crowns. On it is a song entitled "Praise You in the Storm." This song became our anthem. It's meaning found its roots deep within our experience. We played the cd for BJ on many occassions, always sure that he would one day come to appreciate the song as we had.
We found ourselves clinging to such things as our hope in Christ seemed mutliplied by hearing and claiming the message within. We were not alone. That song was claimed by multitudes of people who had endured difficult circumstances. Many can identify with it.
Later, when the Lord began to prompt us to share our experience, Deanna began to sing this song. The first time was last November, at Awe Stars leadership training weekend. It was and is a powerful experience to see a mother who knows the words of the song so intimately, share them with those who would hear in such a tender fashion.I am moved each time I hear.
Deanna will have the priviledge of sharing it again in September at FBC Snellville, Georgia.
Just as it was difficult for us to hear of Katrina and all she unleashed while we were walking the full length of the "valley of the shadow" in our own lives, it has been excrutiating at times to be just another story. We go to bed many nights, hoping to wake up and have this all to have happened to someone else.
We would never wish this on someone else, we just want to be free from the searing pain in our own hearts. I believe that there will never be a day when I am not reminded of BJ (nor should there be). I am eternally thankful for his legacy, his committment and the time we had to share with him. I just miss him a great deal, and I wish I could sit down and hear him ramble on endlessly about... whatever.
That which I was often annoyed with in his life, I am starved for in his absence.
Gods provision for us in the wake of this journey has been undeserved. I am not bitter. I am just lonesome.
I often wonder how our Father in Heaven was able to cope.
2 Comments:
Brent, I wish I could reach over the miles and give you a giant hug; cry with you, listen to you share the goodtimes and badtimes. Try to better understand the warrior for Christ named bj. Maybe someday this side of heaven. For now, these meaningless words will have to do. I pray for you and your family. Know that you are loved by many but most importantly, by Him who gave his only Son, Jesus, so that we might have abundant Life! God's Peace.
I am praying for you precious Higgens family!
Your sister in Christ,
Noblesville, IN
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