Tuesday, February 20, 2007

I read a devotional this morning that really struck a chord with me. It did so, because the Lord has been dealing with me over embedded sin. That stuff that is below the surface. The things others cannot see, but the affects of it are evident in my everyday life, if you are watching closely.

We have a large rug that we moved from Indiana to Oklahoma. A rustic area rug. It works nicely on the pergo floor it covers in our library (Saying "library" sounds like I'm trying to impress...don't be, we had extra space and have chosen to fill it with books, the computer and a couple of comfortable chairs).

This rug used to be in front of our fireplace back in Indiana. It carries with it the scars of the time it spent close to the fire. When you spend time close to a fire, inevitably, you get burned. It did, and it is evident.

When I run the vacuum over this rug, I can always tell when I have hit that seared spot. The whine of the vacuum alters to include the clicking of hitting something hard. If you get on your hands and knees, you can see where the pyle has been melted by an ember. At some point, the fire cracked and popped and shot out the tiniest piece of smoldering ash which settled on the rug, and burned it.

What remains, is a depressed hard shiny knot of melted fiber. Now I could get a pair of sharp scissors and begin surgically removing the knot, but that would be tedious. What do I care if there is a knot on my rug? It's small, it doesn't hurt anything, and it's not even unsightly. I know it's there, but you wouldn't unless you got on your hands and knees and hunted for it.

An interesting perspective is if we altered the story a bit, and said the knot was gum. What happens then is that after it becomes embedded deep within the mane of fiber, it becomes like a cowlick on the face of the rug. It continues to collect other microscopic particles of dirt, hair, etc. The size of the flaw increases ever-so-slowly. This continues until you spend the time to cut the gum and its buddies out of the floor covering, or you just replace it.

The Lord has been laying bare the pocket of my life that plays host to some "gum and its buddies." This is an area that you cannot see if you look at me. It is hidden well beneath the surface. You may see evidence of it in my life if you know me well, and watch me close, but believe me, as a man, I have learned to hide if from you.

It is not a question of whether or not it exists, it is a question of whether or not I am willing to identify it as a flaw and deal with it.

For most of us, these areas are secret and unknown (at least we think) to others. They serve as the very cancers that preclude us from growing in our walks as He would desire.

In some instances, the callous over this area becomes so hard and glossed over that we will not deal with it. We're not even sure if we know how to find it. It has gathered such a collection around it, that it can be hard to separate one from the other. It'd be nice if we had the opportunity to do self surgery. Just take a little time with some sharp scissors or a scalpel, and remove the soul blemish.

I know the Lord waits. I have kept Him waiting for too long. There have been times when I took steps to begin the process of allowing Him to remove it, but it quickly becomes too painful, and the ever-present fear of others coming into the know, haunts me.

Am I willing to let it go?

He has shown me what can come to pass if I relinquish, yet white knuckles have formed around my abscess, drained of blood from clenching so tight.

Only He can assist in this kind of procedure. Mine is simply to let go of pride, and embrace His healing grace.

I think I'm ready, Lord.

You can begin, now.



At 9:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh that PRIDE! How it can fester and grow! Thank God we can recognize it in ourselves and thank God we can begin the humbling that needs to come from losing it! I'm praying for all those suffering from this infectious problem, knowing full well that the Lord will humble us if we do not humble ourselves! Praise Jesus!


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