When we were children growing up, our home was furnished with gas heat. My mother still lives in that home. It was the only home I ever knew until I moved away to college. Gas heat has advantages and disadvantages.

My brother found particular pleasure in the warmth of the forced air as it came out the vent in the floor. In the cold of winter, it was not uncommon to find him curled up on top of one those vents, reading. The availability of this instant warming method brought the extra layer of insulation his body did not provide.

He was not the only one to frequent those slotted grates, but he was certainly the most appreciative. At this point in his life, the fireplace that warms the central part of his home has drawn him away from floor registers (which is good because at his old age, he'd struggle to get back up).

It is no surprise that I think metaphorically. I've been thinking and writing that way for the duration.

I find that in my own walk, too many times the areas of my life that need the heat, seem to be the farthest from the flame. Too often, I am not smart enough to get the part of my life that needs surrender closer to the fire for purification.

I go to the source for a "fix" because I find the expected outcome. I know where to frequent and what to expect...I get what I want. What I often need is a heat diffuser. A way to spread the heat to the cool spots of my heart. I have not figured out the most efficient way of making that happen.

Oh, I have in my head, and I know the right answers to give others, but when it comes to my own life, sometimes it seems that the cold is encroaching on the heat source, and that somehow a baffle exists between the two, preventing the mixing of air...or the warming of my cold extremities.

Truly, there is only one solution. The problem is that I am lazy and don't want to spend the extra time.

I need to surrender the time I spend doing things that do not bring lifeblood to my frostbitten fingers. If I do not, there will be no change for the better, just more of me will harden off and become useless.

dad