My co-leader and good friend, Katie!
I love the mountains. They are a refuge for me. Some people love the ocean, more specifically, the beach. I love the mountains.
I have always wanted to live in the mountains. Being out in God's creation, where I cannot see what man has done with it, is a joy to me. For the last couple of months, I have had a longing for it, that will not go away.
Having the opportunity to live at the camp a couple of years ago was incredible to me. Being able to see the deer and other wildlife come up to the window to eat thrilled me beyond words. I miss that.
I appreciate the home the Lord has provided for us, but I want to be out closer to His creation, where less of man is evident. It's not that I don't like people, I just sometimes need a change of scenery.
I feel like I understand the passages from the Gospels that speak of Jesus going to a quiet place to pray. I know in at least one, it says he went to the mountainside to be alone and pray. Here He found unity with the Father. Here, away from the masses of people, He was close to His Father in Heaven.
I used to take hikes in the woods outside our door (at the camp) to get alone with Him. They are some of my favorite experiences. I could not hear traffic, I could not smell exhaust, it was just the Creator, and His created.
After BJ passed away, I would go out and sing praises to my Savior, at the top of my voice. I would also let go and weep with abandon. Few places afford a man that kind of sanctuary, that kind of freedom. I long for it.
I no longer have the luxury of those places being so close by. It is a new season of life. One we have been trying to walk obediently. My heart grows restless. My thoughts scattered. Focus seems an elusive friend, where it had become a routine companion.
God called Moses to the mountain on more than one occasion. He went, he abided, he served, and the Lord used him in amazing ways.
I am not so sure I seek anything but refuge. Jesus sought "oneness" with the Father. The Father told Moses "come up here and be here." He wanted him to quit worrying about the past, and not look ahead to the future, but to simply dwell with Him, in the moment. I think this is what I really want.
Sometimes, among all that man has created, this seems an unattainable dream. Out in the beauty of God's creation, it becomes more tangible. Away from all that fights for your attention, just the created looking into the eyes of the Creator, the clay seeking the Potter...while He may be found.
Perhaps a new spin on the wheel would do me good...oh wait, I'm not sure I've ever been pulled off...though sometimes, I do believe I have tried to remove myself. I just want some face time with the Master.
To be honest, as much as I long for this, some of the most precious times I've had with Him alone, have been in the midst of a very busy schedule, with many people very close by.
Perhaps it is an illusion that I seek.
I am thankful that He is not. He is Truth and has sent the Comforter. He will provide!
brent