Thursday, March 13, 2008

Pastor Tito and my brother, Brad, in Peru.
I find myself wondering these days, if the Lord finds me as dependable as I need to find those around me. So much of what I do depends on other people. It is far too easy at times to find judgment in my heart, when there needs to be love, compassion or grace.
When I grow frustrated with what at times seems to be a lack of real surrender from others who say they will do something, but lack follow through, I find myself looking at my relationship with Christ, and wondering if I give Him reason to look at me that way. Do I say one thing, and practice something else?
So many want to do the right thing. Lots of people say things like, "let me know if I can help." How many times am I that person, that then fails to put any real action behind those words?
Sometimes, the fact that I need to depend on others frustrates me a great deal. I enjoy interacting with them, I just struggle with being let down. I know I've talked before about letting your "yes be yes" and your "no be no."
I hope and pray that the choices I make in life do reflect this attitude. As a believer, I damage the reflection of Christ others may see, if I say one thing, but practice another. In effect, I am reducing others view of who Christ is, by saying I am a believer but then I go out and live for myself. Making choices in the moment...promising one thing, and then changing my mind to suit my own needs regardless of what commitments I may have made to another.
This kind of thing certainly doesn't happen all of the time. When it does happen, it can be difficult to deal with. I am far from a perfect person. I continue to make stupid mistakes in my own life. Why is it that the mistakes of others are always easier to see?
I am thankful once again, that I serve a God who extends me grace and tries to teach me to do likewise. I'm pretty good at receiving His grace, I'm afraid I have a ways to go at giving grace.
This is one of the things I miss a great deal about BJ. He always seemed to have a deeper understanding about the need to receive and give grace. He spent his life giving it to others. He was a great model for this.
I'll admit, it was frustrating at times to see him be better developed in this area than I was. It came so naturally to him, because he had learned to be so surrendered to Christ.
"I surrender all."
I say it. I may even sing it. But do I really mean it? Does my life show it? It certainly needs to...for His sake, for the sake of others, and for my own sake.


At 3:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Brent!

I have to say - it's great to finally see a picture of Brad (this is the first that I have seen)! I remember his writings just as much as I remember yours and BOY do they ever bless my soul!

Thank you, both, for being REAL examples of who God has created and USED for the Glory of His Kingdom!

Please give Cathy & Walker hugs for me! :)


Laurel Lynn <><
Greeley, CO


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