When my family is together, the world seems "right"... or "righter." We have spent so much time apart over the last year and half, that it was a great blessing to be able to have a week or so of just being together with no pressure or agenda.

I will say that when the girls come home, and we are doing...whatever, there is something missing. It always feels as if someone else will enter the room at any moment. That might be better stated that it is like we are waiting for that last person to enter. Waiting constantly, even sometimes hopefully.

A couple of weeks ago, a two neighbor kids came by selling chocolate. As I walked to answer the doorbell, I saw the triangular face through the opaque glass. His hair was dark and framed his face perfectly.

In that moment, hope rose up in me...foolishly. There is no way for this to actually happen. Knowing this, it still brought a spot of joy and melancholy. To be reminded of him is never a bad thing. To know we will not spend time again until our turn has come, keeps us longing.

The back yard of our home is small and secluded. Truly postage stamp size compared to our last wooded acreage. Still watching the first baby bunny of spring nibble on wild violet leaves after emerging from under our shed, brought a stillness and again hope. He hopped purposefully from patch to patch foraging for his new favorite. I called everyone to the window...still waiting for the last.

We had many dinners together at home and out. We had to advance our celebration schedule as there was little time and we would not see each other again until...well we don't know, but hopefully August.

We celebrated Whitney's 20th Birthday a couple of weeks early. We celebrated Mother's Day right on time. We watched many movies together. It's what we like to do. Still, occasional echoes from another room distract me. I get very involved in whatever I am watching, but my mind finds hope present when I hear a noise I can't identify, and the other three are all accounted for.

The night we celebrated Whitney's Birthday dinner, we ate at an Italian Restaurant. It sat conveniently at a busy intersection. Across the street, she had already picked out her dessert.

We sat down to dinner as a stretch limo pulled up. Somebodies prom night. Several teens emerged from the elegant white vehicle. All adorned in sharp regalia, and most looking awkward and uncomfortable. Trying their best to seem sophisticated, they paraded to just behind us for their dinner.

He would be this age. He might even be attending prom. Most of his friends have posted pictures from their experiences on the web. I have often thought about who he would have gone with and how sharp he would have looked.

Dinner was finished, it was time for dessert. We headed out to the parking lot. A quick survey of the intersection revealed that due to concrete esplanades, there was no way to get across the street to the next destination without driving blocks out of our way and through much traffic.

I made an executive decision. We're all adults, we can do this. This was one of those crazy busy streets with several lanes of traffic, and no pedestrian crossing lines.

The light was red. I prompted my girls and we ran!

Squealing, screaming and laughter escaped their lips as we bolted across the street in front of an audience of automobiles. I think they were laughing as much at the picture of how this must look as anything. We shared a prolonged chuckle over this, and entered the chosen "cookie store" to a variety of knowing looks from other patrons. Had we not just done something foolish, you'd have thought we were famous.

He'd have led that charge...probably from the back, but he'd have led it.

Perhaps we will never feel completely at ease as that glimmer of hope which seems to fade, is renewed when once again we gather. But that is alright with me.

We believe he is feeling the same way. Though all of his needs are met in the presence and person of Christ, there remains a longing in his heart for those who have not yet arrived...

dad