Tuesday, July 03, 2007

I am off work today and I believe this morning, I will go for a run. Running and I have a love-hate relationship. Some days I look forward to putting on my Asics and taking off around my neighborhood. Some days however, I struggle to keep my shoes tied, much less run my usual 3 mile loop. I tend to go in spurts. For a couple weeks, maybe even a month, I will be good about getting out and at least attempting my loop several times a week. Then I hit dry periods- where I no longer can find the drive to even pick up my tennis shoes. I know I need the exercise but I just can't bring myself to exert that much energy after working all day.

For me, the real issue is not one of physical condition or ability, it's one of discipline. It's not that my legs wouldn't carry me three miles if I forced them to, it's that I don't let like to run through the pain. When I start to get tired or "feel the burn," it's much easier to stop and walk for a bit or just even head home than push through. I know my problem isn't physical limitation because if I run with other people- I have absolutely no issue going the whole three miles and I usually feel I could continue on if I wanted.

There's something about not being alone that pushes me to not give up. I don't want to let the other person down or hold them back, so I push through regardless of my feelings. Also, I have something to keep my focus from how long it's been, how much father to go, whether or not my lungs are burning, etc... Rather than thinking about what I'm doing, I'm able to just do it and even enjoy it.

I see this issue of discipline play out to the rest of my life, at school, around my house, at work. I am a procrastinator to the max. If I am working on a project or paper alone, I don't usually do it until the last couple of days before it's due which makes for late nights and lower quality work. However, if it's a group project- I make sure to be prepared with my absolute best work. I don't want to get anyone else a lower grade because I didn't work as hard as I could. I try to get my chores done regularly as it's my turn at home because I share the space with my roommate. My room however, hasn't been swept in.. we probably don't need to go there.

Accountability keeps us in check and helps to keep us from slipping into bad habits or out of good ones. Life is hard, it's good to have someone there who knows what you're dealing with and can give you that extra nudge you need to keep moving forward or can encourage you when you do make the tough decision that needed to be made. We are not made to be alone. We need each other, not just to have fun but to stay focused and disciplined in our actions and lives.

Whitney

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