Whitney and BJ in his final days.

Beej, so much has happened that I struggle to be able to tell you everything! I miss you so much, that I cannot even begin to express it to you. Your life is forever woven into the fabric of the lives of others as your faithfulness and obedience have stirred the depths of the hearts of many!

You would tell me, "Dad, its not about me," and you would be right. It is about Jesus, and you have pointed so many to Him. Scores have had their lives forever altered by your brief but radical passion.

The depth of your understanding and your knowledge of the Word have inspired student and adult alike, to draw closer to Him. Your concern over John 17, Christs prayer for unity, has drawn new meaning to us your family, as we saw people from many lands gather to assault the throne of grace on your behalf.

Our Savior, opted to take you home as He realized how powerful the aroma of your testimony is!

Some of your friends that knew you best, believe in your last days with them, that you were no longer living, that you were dead, that Christ resided within you with such strength and power because you had learned to die!

Your sister spoke at IWU, and with your example on her heart said, "I want to die like that."

Your written words are impacting generations. Your life, an example to all.

You have been written about by many. You have been sung about or had songs dedicated to your life of obedience, by influential bands. Not because of you, but because of Christ in you!

Some have misunderstood and stumbled as they tried to become you instead of emulating Jesus. Others have said it to be impossible to live as you lived, to die as you died. I believe they will begin to understand that to be untrue. You were ordinary, but you were sold out and in love with Christ! Now you get to view His Holy presence for eternity.

Eric went to Chile and Scotland to share Jesus! Brittany went to Mexico! Taylor... your brother Taylor went to India...with Lauren! Ali went to Panama. Bonnie went to Peru and Chile. Kara went to Peru. Andrew went to Chile and Ecuador. Last year alone, somewhere around a third of those at Awe Star University were there in part, because of Christ's impact on their lives, through you. Many of the 97 who surrendered to obedience in Missions at your memorial celebration have served somewhere! Others are making plans now.

Mom, Lauren, Whitney and I have followed where you seemed to know we would. We took you to North Africa, and we left a part of you there as a symbol of hope in Christ. DJ and Tara went with us, along with 13 others! I went to Mexico the same winter you asked your Peru team to pray that I would. Lauren led (with David) a team to India! Derek served 7 or 8 months in Peru and has returned to lead others there. Dan and Jolene have sold their possessions and are moving to Mexico to pastor a church there! Your mom and I took the first team from Awe Star, back to the areas of Peru you ministered in! I've even been back again since then! For a few moments, it seemed as if I might join you, but I guess He is not finished with me, yet.

I am so proud of you Beej. It was your desire to write 2 books that would impact the world. The first has now come out, and it is filled with the essence of your proof of Life! Your words surely reverberate through the heartbeat of our lives.

Whitney is engaged to Jared. She has moved to Dallas to finish her nursing degree! The nurses at St V's have forever inspired her life. She has aspirations to work in a PICU, where you spent the last 6 weeks of your time with us. She will make a difference in the lives of others.

Lauren has graduated from IWU and is teaching in a Goddard School here in Tulsa! She would like to return to grad school and further her education! She has written songs from her experiences that infiltrate every vessel of my being. You have inspired them. You should be so proud of your sisters. They miss you. They miss your protection.

Your mom is teaching here in Tulsa. She loves her job and the students. She grows more beautiful everyday. She has labored in love through the art of scrapbooking (a cult here that we need to discuss when we are once again united). What she has done with pictures of you and your life experiences are incredible. She is so proud of you and misses you so very much!

I long to be asked questions again. I long to hear your "short version" that lasts for more time than I happen to have. I want so much to hear you pace and talk to your friends on the phone. I want to hear the electricity in your laugh, that generates life with those you are with. To hear the echoes of your music shake the house. To see you pour yourself out in love to those God has put in your path! I want you to come and lean on me for no reason at all. I really need one of your hugs. I find them harder to give than I used to.

When Gramma and Grandpa celebrated their 25th Anniversary, I built them a landscaped island in the yard, out their back window. You remember it. Complete with a fountain where a boy and girl share an umbrella. Monday, mom and I celebrate ours. Through your obedient life, you have given us a gift we will never forget. A book filled with your writings, that will inspire generations to come. It's about you. It's called, "I Would Die for You, One Students Story of Passion, Service and Faith." Your picture taken on the wall in Pacasmayo adorns the front of it...along with Macchu Pichu. I know you were never there, but people identify it with Peru.

You would be embarrassed at what people say about you. You would be quick to withdraw from the attention, and direct it back to Jesus. You would be right to do so.

I love you! I am proud of you! I miss you more than I can say! Please give Grandpa a hug for me. I know He knows it, but please let Jesus know that I am jealous. He is getting to hear the long version...I only ever got the short!

dad