His last Peru trip.


The end of the school year is near for most. Yesterday, Whitney received official word that she had been accepted into the University of Texas, Arlington's Nursing program! WooHoo!

She has been studying there for a semester, and went through the formal application process. She has been checking the mailbox daily awaiting word, and it has finally arrived!

The end of the year means an increase in mail, when you work with students. There are many graduation announcements. It is exciting to see that those who have been working hard have finally reached this point.

This year is a bit different. This year, BJ's graduating class will walk.

As we receive these announcements, it cannot help but bring the question to mind of what might have been. I suppose it is inevitable.

It stirs and moves a place in us that perhaps we visit less frequently. We understand what happened, and have seen God be glorified through it. We are thankful for that. We also, wonder what he would have looked like today. Two and a half years older, wiser, and ready to graduate.

I would have enjoyed that day. I would love to watch him in his cap and gown, walking the platform to receive his diploma. His head filled with hopes and dreams for the future. His desires reflecting God's call on his life.

That would have been a good day.

This past weekend, we watched our nephew get married. How sacred the union between a man and a woman that God has brought together. It was a beautiful wedding, and we enjoyed being there.

I will confess to you that I found it very difficult. I did not expect this at all. I expected to be thrilled for Derek and to celebrate with them. We did do that, but I found myself on edge.

Somehow, I seemed to be watching the blessed event unfold through eyes I wanted to pluck out. I was thrilled for Derek and Audrey, but very sad within my own heart.

Suddenly, I rushed forward in time to Whitney's upcoming wedding. BJ would not be a physical part of it. It felt so unfair. It seemed each part of the wedding brought on a new emotion. I knew how excited he would be for her, and how much he would enjoy celebrating that event. We will too.

I guess it's hard to think of what might have been.

I didn't set out with that plan. It spontaneously happens when you are passing through life's events, and you miss a loved one.

I ached for my bride as I watched the groom dance with his mother. Tears spilled down Deanna's face as she longed for it as well. She decidely rose from her seat to stave off the flow and went to dance with him herself. I was proud of her.

I was proud of my daughters who responded immediately to a call from the groom that he and his groomsmen did not know how to put on their butoniere's. They immediately headed off to the rescue.

I am proud of my son. He will never reach these landmark moments in life, but the ones he did reach have had a deep impact on our world. Still, I would have loved to have been at those events on his behalf.

This year, I will celebrate in my own way. I have been afforded the privilege of speaking at a graduation in a couple of weeks. I look forward to that. I may also be able to attend a few others.

I will always be mindful of how precious his life was, and thankful for each day I still get. I miss him a great deal. I could sure use one of his hugs!

Until the day I get to be reunited with him, I will enjoy celebrating with his peers. Each one of their lives count for Christ as well. Sometimes, they just need to be reminded.

dad