I was blessed to be born into the family I call my own. My parents had 4 kids, 2 boys and 2 girls. I was third in line and as such, there were some challenges in living up to the benchmarks placed by my older siblings along the path to adulthood. I don't recall a lot of external pressure to live up to these, more that internal desire to live up to expectations, real or perceived.

Brent has shared that he was a gifted runner when he was in school and it was therefor hoped by some track and cross-country coaches that I would follow suit. I suffered from shin splints when I ran hurdles and sprints but did ok at distance running thanks to stamina developed from my early morning paper route and trying to keep away from Brent's friends on the football field. They were bigger than I was -everyone was it seemed. However, I lacked Brent's competitive drive and didn't participate in organized athletics in school.

As we have grown into our adult years there are still times I find myself comparing Brent and Brad. I have seen Brent turn into a gifted writer,communicating the love and grace of Christ and to be honest with you, to pick up the pen (so to speak)and try to write in his absence is intimidating to me because I know that there hasn't been the spiritual growth in my life that his reflects, both in words and actions.

The catalyst of this gift for Brent came at a very great price for he and his family and it has been inspiring to see how they each have been drawn closer to Christ in dealing with loss, when many people would be going the other direction. He has invested much more time in his relationship with Christ in recent years than I have and I know that. It serves as a call to arms for me spiritually, one in which I seem to keep failing to take seriously enough

I don't share these thoughts to solicit comment or sympathy but to simply state the situation as it is. I am sure that I am not the only one who finds myself convicted by the wors he writes and I know that this conviction comes not from Brent but from the Lord through my own heart as I read the words He has given Brent to share. There are voids in my heart that long to be filled with the spirit that created me and it is challenging sometimes to find my brother as the tool of delivery. I must admit that there are times I am slow to pull this blog up because I fear the inner ugliness inside of me will be revealed.

Yet what a gift His chosen instruments for our conviction are for us because through them we are shown our weak points. He chooses to show us these things so we can bring them to His feet and offer them up to Him. He takes them and from the debris of our shame and pain he builds a bridge from our heart to His, allowing us free access to the One True God, who loves us in spite of ourselves and desires fellowship with us regardless of how we have (or haven't) met the benchmarks in our lives.

Thank you Brent; Thank you Lord for loving me so much.

In His Love,

Brad