Wednesday, September 28, 2005

To the "Great Cloud of Witnesses"...

My sons room will be a treasure trove for some time to come. At times an emotional "pandora's box" at other times it will yield great joy. Last night I found another of his journals and my heart lept!!! There is so much to our children that remains hidden to us if we do not allow them to blossom. At times, I fear I boxed BJ in. Clearly, his Heavenly Father allowed him to blossom in spite of it.

This journal entry is written in response to I Kings 19:9-18 and Acts 2:43-47: "Elijah and the message after Pentecost"...

"Elijah told God at Sinai that he alone was left- the only prophet in all of Israel. He told Him that all Israel had turned away and were trying to kill him, so he fled desiring just to die. But God gave him instructions. God hadn't given up on Israel, and neither should Elijah, for he had work left to do.

In the same way, we must keep faith and persevere in our ministry, even when it seems that we alone are left. Though our evangelism often seems fruitless, as God told Elijah, and as is still pertinent, He will raise up 7,000 who are loyal to Him, and our ministries will bear fruit.

The passage in Acts seems to give a prime example of what our Christian lives are to be a state of awe, performing miracles, constant fellowship, sharing, giving to the needy, daily worship, communion, having joy, and generosity, evangelizing, and all the while, Praising God."

His closing prayer:

"God, Just help me focus today and all this trip. It seems too often, that I have spiritual ADD and get distracted easily. God, I just pray for focus. I pray that I would take these scriptures to heart and develop a new understanding of them. God, I pray that we would not lose hope, but that we would have faith that Your will will be done. God, I pray that You would just bless the missions and training as well. I pray, God, that You would transform me and all those around me to be more like You. God, I pray that You would use me in a mighty way, that you would lead through me, speak through me, and live through me. But, Father, don't let me know-don't let me become prideful, for I have nothing to boast in but You. Humble me, Father, Amen"

My Father in heaven answers prayer yet today. I give Him Praise for how He has done so. Please know each of our family continue to read all of your messages. It is a source of comfort in this time!

The funeral services on Friday may be audiocast through this website, with a video available hopefully within 24 hours later. Thank you for your interest in participating in this celebration with us.

Beej's dad


At 2:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgins Family,
Wow as I read BJ's journal I can so relate to him and his struggles, but perseverence. I read scripture daily and write and pray in a journal as well. It is neat to see how I can relate to him. He is an encouragement to me as I keep "pressing on". Know that his life is still an excellent example.
Norman, OK

At 2:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you once again for sharing. I can't keep off this site and hope to hear more from you as the days and weeks go on. What an inspiration he truly was and will continue to be.
Christal Mearig
Huntington Beach, CA

At 2:06 PM, Blogger Lynn Andrews said...

BJ continues to teach us! What insight for one so young. Thank you, Mr. Higgins, for sharing. I'm printing out all the journal entries you have shared so that I might also share with others. I pray that our Lord will continue to hold you all tenderly through this time. I will be with you in thought and prayer tomorrow, Friday and in the days and months to come. I'm so thankful BJ's legacy will live on - it is my honor to send a donation to the missionary scholarship in his name - it's in the mail today.

Peace be with you . . .

In His Love,
Lynn Andrews
Macon, GA

At 2:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgins,
Just know that we love you and promise to give you all the support you need. I didn't know BJ very well but miss playing guitar alongside him. Before he got sick I thought he was a good guy and was suprised at how young he was.

We'll see you Friday.

At 2:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What treasures you have, and how wonderful of you to share them with us! May souls be won, and God be glorified for ever and ever! BJ will continue to influence lives for many years to come!

In His Love,
Lori Burkert

At 2:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know what to say, BJ and your family is continually on my mind and in my heart. I log on to this site not expecting anything new to be posted and to my surprise the last few times i have signed on you have posted somehthing. It makes my day to read the writings that you continue to post. I feel like even though i can't talk to BJ face to face right now that i am still learning about his life through you. Thanks so much. Everytime i think of your son i am reminded of Ilook at the network of people he has touched it is amazing. The post that was the most glorifing in that BJ had gone to sit with the LORD had almost seven hundred postings. There are so many countries and states represented that he has touched and continues to touch through his love of the LORD. Someday i would love to see the map that you have been creating to see how many different places your son has had an impact on. Thanks again for allowing us to continue to walk down this journey with you. I have only see you guys one time, but i feel like i am learning so much about you through this website. Thank-you,

Love in Christ, Melissa
Westfield, IN

At 2:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is such depth to BJ's love for Christ. I am moved by reading his journal and feel ashamed that my walk seems so superficial. I know you will find comfort as you read these "jewels". I know your daughters also bring you much joy in their walk with the Lord.
It has been my priviledge to be with you all through this tough journey. I will continue to lift you all up to our Heavenly Father.


At 2:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

even now my heart is so sorrowful, yet, God in His amazing power and love, comes and uses bj, again, to speak to me and teach me so much.
my heart longs to be with bj, but for now i know we are called to finish the race God has laid for us, bj won His leg of the race. bless the Lord.

At 2:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My heart cries out for your family... my prayer is with you. I have been in your shoes, as my little sister,Heidi, died due to myocardial infraction from complications of lupus when she was only 17. She, too, was a faithful servant of the Lord.
You have to remember that they are fine now... it is those who are left behind that have to suffer through this world.
Let BJs light shine in you.... and let his love for the Lord remind you that what treasures that we lay up for ourselves here are nothing compared to the riches of heaven.
-Leah Nichols (Ross)
Indianapolis, IN

At 2:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

BJ's prayer was for God to use him in a might way, and indeed He has. To be used by God in such a way to reach people all over the world, is such a blessing. If only I had the faith and love of BJ. Reading his journal has touched me in such an awesome way. If he can live and die in such faith, so can I. Thank you Lord for your son BJ and his life witness. God bless his family and friends.

At 2:21 PM, Blogger Linda Ronne said...

Precious Family, How sweet it is that BJ and our Lord continues to bless you and bring you joy.
BJ was and still is a mighty warrior for the Lord.
BJ has encouraged me to keep a journal of my thoughts and the working of the Lord. May I share part of my entry from last evening?

BJ knew exactly what it took to lay down his life daily and pick up his cross for the cause of Christ. He was a willing vessel of the Lord's, to be used as the Lord desired, whatever it took to bring glory to God and he achieved exactly that, glorifiying the Lord to the very end.
Thank you BJ, you were and are still loved by so many. You have touched and changed lives for the Kingdom and I'm sure as you entered into heaven you received your crown. Praise God that you now are pain free and in the beautiful presence of Jesus, worshipping Him at His feet, asking loads of questions, and probably not the shortened version.

I pray we have all learnt from your openess and we as followers of Christ pick up the batton you left for us and continue the job, to reach the lost with the love of Jesus.

I join your family BJ in celebrating your amazing life here on earth and wait expectantly to see this wave move through this nation and many more.

I can't express to you in words my thanks for sharing your precious son with us. He was truely a life changer and a God Chaser, and now a God catcher.

In His Love
Linda Ronne

At 2:29 PM, Blogger Judy Polentz said...

My heart goes out to your entire family! What a journey of emotions, love, hope and courage that you went through with BJ.

Know that he has inspired and touched so many untold lives, including my family. My husband and I are friends with Chris and Marla Schmaltz and we want you to know that you are still in our prayers.

God Bless You.

Judy Polentz
San Francisco, CA

At 2:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I continue to check this website daily, and to pray for you and your family. Thank you for sharing BJ's life, and his love for Christ with all of us. He truly is inspiring....still. I will not be albe to make his memorial service tomorrow, for I live in FL., but I am thankful that I will be able to view it on this website, and that you have gone thorough the trouble to allow those of us that are far away to be included in this day and celebration of BJ's life. May the peace of God and the joy of BJ's life be with you tomorrow...and always.
Love in Christ,

At 2:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

BJ was such an amazing person, how he let the Lord just use him. I know for me it can be hard to just let the Lord do that with me.
But knowing BJ was able to do that is such an encouragement.
I just pray the Lord will use me like that.

You have such and awesome family and I know the Lord will use each of you in a way you would not be able to imagaine. I believe in the next days, week,months and years.
The Lord will still be using your son's Testimony and ypur family, to bring people to the Lord.
I Love you guys!

Sabrina Garza

At 2:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgins,

Thank you sooo much for the updates. It will truly be a blessing to share in BJ's services through audio on line.!!!! If it's God's will, we look forward to worshipping with you. I've been praying for all of you so much and my group at FBC Gray is grieving with you. Stay strong in the Lord! And much thanks for sharing your precious son's journal entries. God speaks so strongly thorugh BJ even today.

God Bless You,
Lynne Hutto Albanese

At 2:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so glad that you are writing about his journal entries. For me it seems like he was so very wise for the age he was. I am so happy that God blessed him here on earth with wisdom beyond his years. I am so glad that he is being taught by our Father right now as we speak. I am still praying for you and will absolutely watch and listne to the services that go on Friday. Let us know the time it will be playing.....I am from Missouri, so I am in central time. Thank you so much for continuing to share with us who BJ was. I love you guys!!!

Hannibal, Mo

At 2:35 PM, Blogger Derek Tucker said...

Precious family,
I don't really have words to express how I feel and I don't know that I have words that will help y'all any at all. But I do want you to know how much I care for each of you and how much we are continuing to lift y'all up. I am extremly glad that we will be able to attend the services and be able to be there with you guys, although it is only for a short time. I am getting to know BJ better through every post and journal entry. What an undescribable blessing that has been for my life. I thank you beyond what words can describe for who you are and how you are allowing God to work through you and your son.
See you tomorrow,
Derek Tucker
Deer Park, Texas

At 2:35 PM, Blogger isaiah said...

Still in my thoughts and prayers-

At 2:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is so amazing! As I sit here at work, reading this, I am overcome with the joy of the Lord. Crying tears of joy.

At 2:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
James 1:2-4

At 2:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Brent and Deanna,

We are looking forward to being with you all tomorrow. Flights, etc. are secured.

Some thoughts regarding our kids (i.e. yours and ours): Sunday we had communion during our church service, and it struck me that it was looking like you would be giving your only son to God, as a sacrifice, kind of, just like God gave his only son. I then realized that many of us as Christian parents have dedicated our children to the Lord's service...of course, we were ALL probably envisioning a life of service ON EARTH doing God's work. Are we really willing to give them up in death, if that is what becomes required of us???? It is a bit scary/painful, etc. to consider that by giving our kids over to God, we should COMPLETELY take a hands off approach, allowing God to work in them and through them.

That brings me to the other part of my realization--like you, I wonder if we as parents have interfered with the boys'interactions with God (with our best intentions, of course). Have we had too small of a vision of their callings and capabilities?? When straightening up the house (not a very common occurrence :) ...), we are all the time finding papers with notes, thoughts, poetry, prayers, etc. on them. We make it a practice not to read them, not wanting to overstep our parental boundaries, or whatever,since they are, after all, basically grown up now, but I wonder what all we might learn from our younger generation if we take the time and effort to listen and ponder....

It is very painful putting ourselves in your shoes, and have been reminded to cherish what we have in life, and to especially cherish those that we love. We should take nothing for granted! We should not waste our lives, but invest them in others!

Well, with that, I'll close for now, and will see you soon. Praying for God's comfort for you.

Love, Jolene

At 2:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

To BJ's family,

I am so inspired by the faith and courage exhibited. A man in my bible group was searching to understand your situation. I gave him my view of how God uses people and situations to affect others... I then told him that after looking at BJ's photo I sensed freedom and peace. These are two things that I have been searching for for quite some time. Maybe what God has taught me through BJ's trial is freedom and peace can be obtained through pure faith. I am sure that countless others have been affected in other ways. God bless you for your courage and faith.

Huntington Beach, CA

At 2:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

B.J. is such an awesome inspiration and continues to do just what he asked from Our Lord. I continue to lift you and your family up to the Lord, throughout the day. We long for the day to be with you and Deanna as we miss you all very much. Know that though we have not been able to be with you in flesh, we have never left your side.
Your Friend and Brother in Christ
Matt Littell

At 2:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I must confess, I've been thinking about BJ for a long time now. Much like others here, I don't just wish and hope for BJ, I *need* BJ. If BJ is truly gone, my life just will not be the same. I think I speak for all of us when I say that since we have known BJ, we have known true happiness in our lives.

BJ, BJ, BJ. Sometime BJ is all I think about. I've gone days where nary a thought other than BJ has entered my mind. BJ is an inspiration, nay, one of the very pillars of our existence. When we fear we have lost BJ, we must double our efforts, and find BJ once again... for only through BJ, may we all know inner peace.

I don't believe in God and all of the myths that some of my fellow BJ-lovers here have professed believing, but it is our love of BJ that binds us, and puts us on common ground.

Here's to BJ!

At 2:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgins family,
I live in great anticipation of meeting the family that raised such an admirable man, a man that attained an amazing wisdom and knowledge of God's word at such a young age. You did a wonderful job in grooming this amazing servant, BJ spoke wonderful things of all of you and I long for the occassion of meeting such a wonderful family. Know that you are still daily lifted in passionate prayer in this time of struggle. In this hard time may you truly find what it means to be "HELD".
Tulsa, Ok (Peru '05)

At 2:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i just wanted to say how much the life of BJ touched people. As i read and prayed about him it was like i grew to know him. he was a great example of how all christians should act no matter what. and im sure i will have the pleasure of meeting your wonderful son someday up in Heaven

At 3:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i agree with that dood above, we all need as much BJ as we can get!!!

At 3:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 3:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What an amazing child you have raised. He really seems to have the wisdom of God. BJ has inspired me to be more and do more for Christ. I check this site a few times a day. I am in NY but my heart is with your family.

Pat Davila

At 3:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I will see you on Friday.

Frank Lamca
Quito, Ecuador

At 3:13 PM, Blogger Lynn Newkirk said...

Dear Higgins family...
My eyes are welling up with tears. I am sorry for your loss.
I am at work and blogging instead of working. I really feel so honored to have met your BJ. And it was just by chance, well By God I should say. ? My prayers and thoughts are with you always. I have printed a cool picture of BJ and keep it on my desk, when I see him I think of him and God. You see I got away from church for about 6 years and since have been so inspired to return. I have been reborn you might say. I thnak you so much for sharing your wonderful son.
By His Grace

At 3:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 3:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

what a blessing your sons stories have been to me. i never got to meet him but I have been so blessed by him! I continue to pray for your family all the time. Its so amazing to see God work so much and to see how real he really is! you guys are in my prayers...

At 3:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are a very talented writer. Any chance you can take BJ's journel and this blog site, and write a book for all to know of the life, struggles, death, and life again, of Brent Higgins Junior? This way so many more more could learn from his testimony. May all in do time. Please cosider it. Carmel

At 3:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 3:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praise God! Praise God! Praise God!

I have a little story to tell myself! A few days back, I had mentioned that I was at the Oktoberfest in Cincinnati and felt let to witness to a guy who used Jesus' name in vain. I mentioned that I was ashamed of myself that I didn't do it, due to fear. Wishing had BJ by my side that day! Well, Praise God that I found my tongue today!! I stopped a man in a parking lot and aksed him if he knew the Lord. He said yes and we praised his name together. That was a HUGE thing for me and I really do have BJ and you all to thank for that. Pray that I can continue on with this outburst of love for Christ verbally to people out there that need it.
Your sister in Christ,
Debbie Schmidt
Florence, KY

At 3:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Guys, i am so sorry that you are having to go through this difficult time. I will not be able to attend the memorial service, but my thoughts and prayers will be with you in the days to come. Peace of Christ to you.

With love and prayer,

At 3:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgins family,
It seems that this web site was set up so others could encourage you, but you are encouraging us instead! The depth of BJ's passion for the Lord and the lost is such a challenge to me. I'm realizing I'm wasting so much time on trivial things that don't matter for eternity. May we all give ourselves to the same call and passion BJ demonstrated in his short but powerful life! Thank you so much for continuing to share with us. The faith and courage you have demonstrated through this ordeal is amazing, yet I know the depth of your pain must be overwhelming at times. My family and I will continue to lift you before the throne of God.

Sheryl Christensen
Kansas City

At 3:20 PM, Blogger Stay-C said...

Dear Precious Higgins Family,
Though many of us can no longer see our loved ones, for they are at Jesus's right hand, the Father knows the pain of losing a son. Continue to draw strength from our Heavenly Father, b/c one day many years ago, He went through the same as you. Know we pray for you, and grieve with you, and praise the Lord for BJs life. I pray one day if i am blessed with children, they will humble servants of the Lord as BJ was. He was an example to many, and a source of strength.
With love,

mobile, al

At 3:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I loved BJ's was my favorite thing about him. I've just been looking at our Peru pictures from this year...remembering stories...remembering the funny things that happened...I have some stories that I would love you share with y'all sometime that you would love. Those stories are what is comforting me right now and the only thing that can make me smile. I can't wait to see you guys tomorrow. I just want to hold all of you! I love you and am continually praying for your family!


At 3:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I cannot even begin to tell you how much your son has meant to me. I am yet another person who didn't even know him, but from hearing stories of him and reading the journal entries you have posted I feel like I did know him. He has touched my life and made me want to be less complacent with witnessing. You have also touched my life through your strength during this very difficult time. I am thankful that you are still praising God, even though you may not understand why he took your precious son home already. Your family will continue to be in my prayers.
May the peace of God cover you.
Norman, OK

At 3:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Even now, Beej is still such an inspiration to me! You are continually in my prayers and not a minute goes by that I don't think about some fun memory from Peru with BJ. I'm coming for the memorial service this weekend. I wish I could hug you guys now!
Mary Leestma
Houston, Texas

At 3:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow! It is amazing to me how wise BJ was and how he totally laid down his life for the Lord. Ahh, the treasures you will find of him will be a comfort for you, knowing that you did such a WONDERFUL job raising your son, and how much he loved the Lord and how much the Lord has, and still is, using him on this Earth.

I, along with all the others, cannot stay away from this site, and I am SO VERY THANKFUL that you are continually thinking of us and updating us on your precious family. You are a wonderful man, Brent, so open and honest with your feelings. Your wife and daughters are truly blessed for a man in their life like you, and will guide your daughters to find men like you for their husbands.

You all are constantly in my prayers, God is placing you on my heart just as much and He did BJ. Please keep us posted on how you guys are doing. I know the next couple of days are going to be hard and physically and emotionally draining and exhausting. Know that you will be covered in prayer, and that the Lord will carry you when necessary. God bless all of you, and please, really think of publishing his words. They have been and will be such a great and awesome impact on us now and on people in the future. Just as Jesus' words will never fade, neither should Bj's!!

Love to all~
Linda Anderson
Willows, California

At 3:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Brent, Deanna, Lauren and Whitney,
Words just don't come easy right now. My heart is aching for you as I can picture all of you together in bed and comforting each other. Your family is just amazing and I am so thankful that you have opened your lives and shared with us your most intimate moments. I will be able to make the trip up to Indianapolis tomorrow and will be attending with Todd, Jes and our precious Andrew. I will share Andrew with you so you can love on him as much as you want. Still praying for your strength for the next few long days and above all a peace that passes all understanding. You truly belong to God's family and I am so proud to have shared this journey with you.
BJ certainly shared with the world during his 40+ days in the hospital. Our Lord is so proud of BJ and to know he is in the arms of our Heavenly Father is so comforting. See you tomorrow,
Your friend in Christ,
Jean Peters in Santa Claus

At 3:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This a message for the person who loved BJ but doesn't know BJ's precious Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. We will all be lifting you up in prayer that you will come to know God of the universe who loved you so much, that He would send His only to die so that you have eternal life. God loves you so much. I am truly sorry that you have lost your dear friend BJ.

At 3:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I second the thoughts of one blogger who requested a book be done of BJ's writings! Another great way to witness!!

At 3:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

These days immediately following BJ's departure from here are going to be some of the sweetest and hardest memories. But I praise God for how you remaining four have bonded together and are striving through this together. I know we all feel overwhelmed, but I pray that forces us to rest in His will, and be even more amazed at what He does through it.

I agree, now is the time we need to pray, love, and serve even more. Now is the time when the reality of life and death is freshest, and the need to share the love of Christ seems most urgent. I pray that all of us will be not just inspired right now, but forever changed. That this becomes our way of life: loving each other, praying, sharing with one another, giving, reaching out with the good news.

May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all (1 Cor. 13:14)
Rachel Long
Tulsa, OK

At 3:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I must agree with Linda on publishing BJ's words someday. He is an inspiration to me, and I know that he would be to anyone who got to know him through his journals.

At 3:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brent & Deanna,

The depth of BJ's faith awes me. His understanding of God's word and his desire for his owe personal growth in him is a wonder to behold. I am so blessed by the character that you both helped to mold. As I raise my own children I can only hope that I impart half of the passion for Christ into them that you imparted into BJ. As much as his journal says about his desire to fully know Christ, it also shows how much he learned about God's love from you. The desire to see people saved, the need for evangelism, the caring and love, and most of the desire to worship the only One worthy of worship all had their beginnings in your own relationships with Christ and your tranceparency before your children. May our God grant you a special joy in knowing that his passion is smoldering into a fire that will cause us to rise up and storm the gates of hell to gain new souls for Christ.

Whitney & Lauren,

You have a little brother to be proud of!!! I use the present tense because Our God is a God of the living and not the dead. BJ lives on not only in heaven but hear on earth in the hearts and minds of others who want to join in the ministry that he held dear. We will continue to minister first to bring God glory, but secondly to let Satan know that what he meant for evil God meant for good. And that good is to destroy his foothold on your generation and cause every person who learns about what BJ stood for to take up their mantle and fight.

I know that this is a difficult time for you. But as God gives us the ability, let those of us near and far know if there is anything that we can do to help add comfort at this time. We love you and are still praying for you.

In Christ,
Dawn D.

At 3:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have never met your son (I happened upon this site) but his dedication to the Lord has touched my soul. I am sorry for your loss. May you find some comfort in knowing that through his passing many lives are being touched.

At 3:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Precious Family--that's Higgins, first, and "blog family," second--

Perhaps the negative posts are here to remind us that not everyone "gets it" in the way BJ did. Reading BJ's journal (thank you, Brent--What a gift!) reminds me of that every time--except it usually reminds me that I don't "get it" nearly as much as BJ did, even in what seems (to our narrow minds and faint hearts) like a life cut short.

I drove downtown to the library today, directly past a sidewalk flooded with students from the College of Charleston. Normally when I see these crowded C of C streets and sidewalks, I think of my daughter on her college campus in California. Today, however, I thought of BJ. I thought of how abruptly his life here on earth ended, of how much he missed. Poor BJ--he never had the chance to graduate from high school, much less go to college, much less go to Africa as he envisioned so urgently.

Fortunately, God put a firm halt to those dreary thoughts (He's like that, you know). He reminded me that Brent Higgins, Jr. was able to experience more of life in his nearly-sixteen years than most people do in a much longer lifetime. After all, BJ loved God with his whole heart, soul, mind and strength! BJ played bass and prayed and journaled and learned guitar (thanks to my new Indy/USC friend, Brett) and witnessed and sat in on some intense Bible studies and did all kinds of stuff with his youth group and learned a drama and travelled to Peru two summers in a row to tell of His love for Jesus. He saw fellow students and policemen and poor people and all kinds of people come to know AND FOLLOW His Lord.

Neither list (BJ's activities or those with whom he shared) is anywhere close to exhaustive, since I've only "met" him in the past few weeks--but he certainly had a life that showed he "got it."

Even as heavy as our hearts are, even as much as you, dear Higgins family, grieve in ways we can't begin to touch with our own tears, we know that it's definitely NOT all about BJ. It's all about Jesus Christ, Lord, Savior, Master, and King of the universe. That's the One BJ lived and died to proclaim. From his home in heaven, BJ shares his challenge to me--driving in my car and thinking foolishly about all that he "missed." He shares it with you as well: DON'T WASTE YOUR LIFE!

"I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whosever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me." (John 12: 24-26, NIV)

Praying in pink in Charleston,

Marti Pieper
for the Pieper clan and for my friend BJ

At 3:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgins Family:

I pray that God will grant you much peace throughout the rest of your lives knowing that your son is with his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He must have touched many lives.

I am in South Carolina in the School of Music. We are all deeply saddened by your loss.

Trina Brooks

At 3:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

dear higgins, i hope things are doig beter in the household. we all are missing bj and his life but just know that bj is in a better place with no more suffering in his life. zionsville middle school is praying for you at this point and your family. you are a well miss boy. you are also loved by many people.
liz stum


At 3:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

god be with you!!
Always Arkansas girl

At 3:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bj was such an amazing person. He seemed soo spiratually mature for 15. wow. I am praying for you his family and for you to just have comfort.

At 4:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At 4:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brent and Deanna, how we have grieved for you in these last days. We hardly know you, yet, along with so many others,we have been honored to walk this road a bit with you. Thank you for being so transparent in the midst of your sorrow and grief. You have truly been faithful to our King. May we walk our own road with our little warrior, Josiah, as faithfully...... Oh, how we long to have something to say to make it hurt a little less. We will have to just trust that to the sufficiency of grace. You are in our hearts.
Richard and Susan Nelson and family

At 4:09 PM, Blogger MarylandMommy said...

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. Your whole family has truly touched so many lives. I am so sorry for your loss.

Please continue to share stories of your amazing son!!!

Hugs from Maryland

At 4:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgins family,
I just finished reading your latest posting and another sharing of BJ's journal. I am impressed with what he gleaned from God and was able to articulate. Thanks so much for sharing that, it is truly inspirational. From one Father to another, isn't it amazing what God does with our kids and allows us to witness in their lives. I can only imagine the feelings of joy you had as you read those words and have witnessed the lives impacted by your son. May you continue to find moments of grace as God allows you to discover things from BJ's life that will touch you and aid the healing process of your pain and loss. We continue to lift you up in prayer and ask God to supply all your needs.
In Christ's Love,
Milton Baumgardner
Monroe City, MO

At 4:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tito Sevilla Translation:
We give thanks to God for the life of BJ and for the exemplar life that he lived in this world.

BJ, Thank you for your love of the Lord, and to humanity. We are going to miss you, BJ.

Many blessings to all,


At 4:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I continue to be amazed, encouraged, blessed, and challenged by BJ's journals and your postings and your willingness to share with all of us. It has truly been a privilege to be a part of the last few weeks. We originally knew of your family thru the Leaf family, but now feel as if we know you ourselves. You are continually in our thoughts and prayers.

In His Love and Care,
Kansas City

At 4:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We too "can not keep off this site" - it remains minimized all day & night as it has for the last 30 days.

Thank you so much for sharing more of BJ with us! It is amazing to have witnessed God's answers to BJ prayers over the last weeks & be a part of those answers. God CERTAINLY used BJ and CONTINUES to your family to glorify Himself.

We continue to pray for you often...esp as you diligently work on BJ's memorials - without a doubt trying to work through the incredible opportunity God has given you to glorify Him all the more, and yet at the same time working through the very real hurt of missing and losing BJ. We pray for all the strength, endurance, and peace - we so know God will provide!

We love you & will cherish the opportunity to join you via the website since we are unable to travel to be with you in person. Thank you for reaching even more at this time! To God be the Glory!

We will listen & watch in pink!

One more thing...My third child, Hunter, has worn his shirt for the last 4 days. He begged to wear it to Awanas tonight, he said "everyone needs to know about BJ so I can tell them about Jesus". :) Even the "babes" (won't tell 7 yr old Hunter that!) get it!

We got it LOUD & CLEAR from you, BJ! Your witness continues on & on!

In His caring, fatherly hands,
The McMahans

At 4:25 PM, Blogger toxic_girl said...

it's sad wut hapened i just pray that he has a wonderful life in heaven and some day i will meet him there i also pray for his family that they can hold on through this bad time and for god tho just be with them through every step of the way

At 4:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who would have known? One young 15 year old boy, known and loved by and witnessing to those in his circle, now "known" and "loved" by and witnessing to a circle that surrounds the whole world. Christ sent his Holy Spirit so that MANY could be taught. Thanks for sharing BJ's spirit with those of us who still need to be taught...even after walking with the Lord for over 30 years myself!

Blessings to you all,
Pewaukee, Wisconsin

At 4:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing BJ's Journal. It is such a blessing to so many. He had incredible insight for anyone, much less a 15 year old. God Bless!

At 4:39 PM, Blogger Jeannie Hilfiker said...

last night we talked about knowing the voice of God, BJ knew it, heard it, and obeyed. I hope to know what BJ knew before I die, I want the desire of my heart to be fully obedient to God.
Love you all praying for each of you.
JOhn & Jeannie

At 4:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amen, Marti Pieper!

Can't believe the "got it" statement...I wrote before I read. Amazing how God is working moment by moment & when He lets us see it & join in.

Humbling, exciting, amazing! Yes, Our God is God Most High!!

We are going to be in your area for a month - sure would like to meet your body of Christ in SC!

At 4:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

AMAZING GRACE!! I am in awe! Please continue to share ... it's so inspiring!

At 4:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Family in Christ:

BJ's prayer to be used of God has certainly been answered in my home. You see I'm a mother of a Senior @ Indiana State who wants to be a missionary and "special needs" teacher. She told me she is signing up for a trip this summer and raising the money herself. I then, being Mom, began to panic and someone asked that I pray for BJ and gave me this website not knowing the feelings of being afraid for our daughter in another Country. WoW talk about being hit between the eyes I was reminded that my child is a gift from my heavenly father. The same father who gave his all for us, gives us the opportunity to express that love to others. I am truly humbled and thank BJ for showing me the true meaning of loving and giving.

At 5:00 PM, Blogger Erika said...

Thank you so much for sharing parts of BJ’s journal with all of us. His entries contain so much encouragement, profound thought, and even conviction. I never dreamed that the first time I checked out the blog passed on to me through an e-mail prayer chain, that BJ and his family would become such a part of my heart. I checked the blog 6-7 times daily (which says a lot since I am a stay at home mom of 5 little ones) and when we moved and I had no internet for a few days, I called people who had internet to check on his progress. The news of his Home-going hit me hard. I am in tears several times a day over it. I rejoice to know that he truly is with our Saviour right now. In one of his entries, he asked the Lord for a new understanding of the Scriptures- He sure does now!! He no longer sees through a glass darkly, but now face to Face!!!
I appreciate so much you keeping us posted on how you all are doing. I lost a son 5 years ago (as a baby) and I feel so much for your family. I will be praying for you all and for you to be able to continue to listen to “the Voice of Truth” that says this is for HIS glory. (Casting Crowns). Looking forward to meeting BJ and your family in Heaven (hopefully soon!). You’ll feel like old friends. Love, Erika (NH)

At 5:06 PM, Blogger Kaeli Cockrell said...

I have prayed for you guys. I hope you know that we are all always here. BJ is happier than he can ever get.

At 5:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We continue to pray for you and the whole family. I pray that BJ's journals will continue to bless you with a little bit of him for a long time to come.

At 5:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you SO DEARLY for continuing to share! I think you may have a book coming in the near future ;) You are my heart on this day, Higgins family, as I continue to PRAISE THE LORD for you all and PRAY FOR YOU! We are blessed that you continue to share all that can, in such a time of need. I can tell you this will be my favorite web site for some time to come! If it is in the Lord's will for me to have children someday, I can only PRAY to have 1 like BJ, not to mention to 2 more like your daughters! My love will be coming in the mail soon - YOU ARE LOVED!!!

May the Lord reveal Himself to you more & more through this process,

Laurel, San Diego

At 5:20 PM, Blogger Cori said...

Thank you for letting us read a bit of BJ's journal, it is so encouraging. I am praying for you all.
Panama City,Fl

At 5:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praise God
I'd say BJ was used in a mighty way.
Thank you for sharing so much.
I continue to pray for all of you to have peace in your heart and strength.
With love and prayers your way
and in the loving arms of our Lord
I pray.
Lisa Gresh/Meils and
Julie Meils

At 5:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

it is such a reflection on the love of christ professed, taught and modeled in the higgins household that at such a young age bj "got it"... i hope that as parents you also are allowing yourself to hear god saying "well done, keep going, i'm proud of you"... you raised an amazing young man of god and your openness and willingness to share yourselves with all of us continues to show your commitment to christ and his hand in your lives. i stand with the many who say, that i hope to let the impact bj's life and death have had on me drive my life into a new, awe-inspired direction. thank you thank you thank you. god bless.

At 5:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Glory be given to God for this precious one. God used him in mighty ways! I cannot wait to meet him in heaven.

At 5:25 PM, Blogger Jack Maitre said...

May others have the courage your son and family have shown in living an examined faith.

May the knowledge of your son's impression on his world grant you some small measure of solace.

At 5:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgins Family,
I want you to know how much I respected and admired BJ. It is because of him that I now have a home in heaven. After talking to him for several hours at a youth program I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. He will always be in my heart and you will always be in my prayers. I can't wait to see him again in Heaven!
Zach Beam

At 5:31 PM, Blogger Cousin Beth said...

We thought you would appreciate this cute story Dennis heard. A friend of ours who teaches Kindergarten at Hayworth Christian School where Angela attends, was talking to Dennis today. Her Kindergarten class has been praying for BJ, so the teacher decided to copy a picture of BJ from the web site and take it to class. She took it Monday morning , only to find out he had just gone to Heaven. As she showed the children the picture and explained that BJ was in Heaven with God, a little girl raised her hand and asked, "Who's that beside BJ?" The teacher replied that she didn't know. The child said, "I think maybe it's God beside BJ with His arm around him."

At 5:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Matthew 5:16
"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven".

There are many ways to show God's love to others. Perhaps the most powerful method is through our actions...the way we live our life. People are watching and when they meet someone whose life is filled with joy and peace, they want to know that person's secret. When they see someone who is loving, gracious, and kind. Someone who encourages and helps others, they witness a glimpse of God's true nature. In those moments and in those kinds of people...Jesus can truely shine.

Oh, how BJ shined with the love of Christ. The words he took the time to put on paper show how tender hearted he was towards the things of God. How willing he was to be used in any capacity for God's glory.

May the words BJ shares through his journal entries continue to bring comfort to each of you.

You continue to be in our prayers.

Youngstown, OH

At 6:01 PM, Blogger . said...

Awe Star

A shooting star -- how brief his span
Not still a boy, not quite a man
Already part of God's great plan

A warrior in the battlefield
A faith in God that would not yield
Through his young life, Christ was revealed

He saw the harvest, saw the need
"I'll do Your will, Lord," he agreed
Lay down his life, a willing seed

His shooting star -- how quick its flight
He blazed his way through sin's dark night
To point us to the Savior's light


In honor of BJ's graduation to heaven - 9/26/05

At 6:12 PM, Blogger Emily Jo said...

What an amazing entry from BJ's journal. Yet a boy, but with a heart and spirit God had formed into a man.
I felt comfort by his if he was preparing those left behind him to not be discouraged or feel alone. The work that BJ so passionately did must continue indeed....we are not alone, this "cloud of witnesses". I will surely rise to the call that BJ recorded in his journal (what a precious keepsake for you to find!!!) My children shall know BJ's name (they do already) and he will be in an inspiration to them as to the mighty ways that God uses his children. I shall weep and worship with you from California this weekend. I hope to meet you all in person some day.....strangers no more.
With love,
Emily Jo

At 6:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am Katie Lamca from
Quito Ecuador.I was praying for Bj.
I know that God will do something good out of this because I trust in God.I want to tell a funny story
about Bj.When he was at my house in tumbes,Peru he was teasing my dog because he had a piece of chocolate cake.He said you cannot get it. But she did.He was so fun.

At 6:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am continually amazed at the faith of your son. God is still using him to touch lives and will continue to do so. Thank you so much for opening your heart and family to us. I am praying for your family.


At 6:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgins Family,
I'm from Texoma Christian School and we just want you to know that we are praying for you and your family for strength!

At 6:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgins Family,
Please consider putting BJ's words and your thoughts into a book for others to read. What an inspiration he was!!
Until He Comes!

At 7:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgins Family,
I had the opportunity to meet Brent at Clay Jr. High, and many of my friends knew him well. Even though I didn't know him personally, his life and his love for Christ Jesus is so inspiring. Though I may never meet you, or come to know your family, your son has left a handprint on my heart, and the hearts of so many I know.
I think I'd like to share a memory that I have with you. I was talking on the telephone with one of my really good friends this summer, and she was talking to me about Brent. She was talking about how much he had encouraged her, and how because of his love and understanding, her faith was strengthened. She was in awe of his relationship with Jesus, and she wanted what he had. She talked to him after he came back from Peru, and he gave her Bible verses to read. She read them, and in turn passed them on to me. I know that those verses are on the back of my journal cover, waiting for me when I have a bad day, or when I need encouragement. Last night I read them again, and I thought of the extreme bliss that Brent must be in. He is in the presence of his Heavenly Father- and that's the greatest comfort of all.

---Anonymous in Carmel

At 7:33 PM, Blogger Melissa said...

Higgins Family, I find myself checking in on the website several times a day. I don't expect a new post, but hope for one. Many years ago, I had a sister who passed away. As I went on to become a pediatric nurse and began to have children die while caring for them, I asked my mother what you say to a parent who has lost a child. Her wisdom, "Tell them how their child made a difference in your life." So that's what I'm going to do with you.

I never got the opportunity to have a conversation with BJ. By the time I started caring for him, he was already on the vent and ecmo. But occassionally I would be treated to an eye opening, a blink, a head nod. His eyes said so much to me. They touched right through to my soul. I often think that it's time for a different line of nursing, no one likes caring for dying children. But yet, I keep coming back to work. I believe that God took my sister at such a young age to leave an impression on me. Therefore I would be able to leave an impression on others. But in caring for BJ, your family left the largest impression of all. Everyone loves you! The secretaries, the RT's, the nurses, the doctors, the pharmacists, everyone! I heard frequently, "why does it always happens to the best families." We as nurses ask ourselves that alot. But through caring for BJ and all of you, I think we've all learned that it happens to the best families because they are the ones who find a way to make something good come out of such a tragic loss. This site and the thousands of posts that have been on here from all over the world just prove that! BJ's mission, to touch as many people as possible with his message, and boy did he succeed!! I keep you all in my thoughts and prayers constantly! I will see you tomorrow!

At 7:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your perseverance is an amazing tribute to BJ and our Father. My daughter and husband will be there Friday I wish we could all attend. All of you continue to be in my prayers. I thank you so much for allowing us into your life like this and hope you will continue. We have all grown to love each of you. BJ was an insightful and amazing young man a reflection of his Heavenly Father and earthly family.
My love prayers and peace are with you all,
Nowata, OK

At 7:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I did not know BJ but I know some of the people at FBC. I am praying for your family.

At 8:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing with us BJ's wonderful insights!! His witness will follow him. We continue to pray for you and will fervantly be praying as the next two days will be hard ones. Your family is loved deeply, even though we have never met.

At 8:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

To BJ's family, my heart goes out to you folks. My prayer is that GOD saturates you with His love, comfort & peace during this process of dealing with your loss. I am gratful that GOD can and will, as He promises not to put more on us than what He gives the necessary grace for us to handle.

At 8:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...



At 8:10 PM, Blogger Melissa said...

Thanks again for sharing all that went on with BJ and his condition. We know now that he is well and in not anymore pain, Always continue in prayer for your family.

At 8:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You continue to be a blessing! I am still praying for you all!

Trusting Him,
Hannah Lane
Belvidere NC

At 8:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was at my daugher's school today & saw a boy with a pink t-shirt on that said, "Tough guys wear pink".
I smiled as I thought of BJ.
Thank you for sharing his life with us & for sharing this time in your lives. I check the site frequently & continue to lift you up to our Lord & Savior who sustains in difficult times. May you find his strength & peace today & in the days to follow.

At 8:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Reading the words of BJ is so comforting. I am continually amazed at how God spoke through him and to him. I am 38 and to think that BJ had such insight at his young age is just incredible! I hope you realize the important role you all played in BJ becoming the person that he was...a truly wonderful servant of the Lord, striving to be even better at it every day for God's glory.

Know that I think and pray for you all often through the day. I saw your cousin, Vickie, today. We shared tears on Monday and hugs today. I will be thinking of you all tomorrow and Friday and praying that God's strength will somehow get you through.


At 8:36 PM, Blogger Gabrielle J. said...

I am a 7th grader that goes to Zionsville Middle School (ZMS). My band teacher (Mrs. Greaf) has kept us up on the information u have been posting. When she told us about the accomplishements you son has done i was so amazed. I can't imagine anyone doing so many meraculous tasks by the age of 16. All though i didn't personally kno Brent Higgins Jr. I know that I will always remeber him. I am to a growing person in our Lord just like everyone else. BJ is a wonderful roll model for so many people. The thought of how many peoples lives are saved because of his wondeful deeds on outstanding. He has been in my prayers since I have found out about his conditions. Now I am praying for you and your family in this time a grief and pain you are going through. A verse I live by is- "I can do all thong through Christ who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13. This verse has guided me through so many obstacles that have come before me and the one's that are ahead of me. I will keep on reading and keep on praying for you and your family.

Much Loved- Gabrielle J.

quote---> "There ain't nothing I can do today that the Lord and I can't handle together." -anonymous-

At 8:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgins Family~

You are in my prayers each day. You have truly shown what it means to give everything to Christ. I'm blessed by your devotion to our Savior. God is SO good. Even in the pain and suffering he brings hope and joy. Thank you so much for your amazing, steadfast devotion to Jesus.

Marshall, MI

At 8:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amazing! Simply amazing.
Oh how we can only imagine what a "Pandora's Box" of emotions your whole house, especially BJ's room, must be for all of you. We continue to marvel at BJ's maturity in his walk with the Lord. We also continue to be blessed by your willingness to be transparent so that we can see the glory of the Lord in all of this. We continue to pray daily for all of you.

At 8:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgins Family,
BJ did have a Love For Christ! I know God has touched so many more lives through BJ and still is. you all are in my prayers.
With Love,
Westfield IN

At 8:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

To His family....
God only let you borrow him...for just a little while ~ Yet how easy it is to forget He was first His child.

God is using your son to minister to me, the mother of three grown sons. Tonight I'll finish "Don't Waste Your Life" and it's because of BJ that my life is changing. God used BJ to lead me to a writer who would open my eyes and my heart to more ~ and yes, I am reaching out further than ever before.

To God Be The Glory....
I, too, look forward to more from BJ as you share his journal entries. To Be Like Jesus is my plea...............

At 9:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgins Family,
I can't stop coming back to this site in search of how you are doing. I love looking at how deep BJ would go into the word of God and it encourages me to become closer with God; even more than BJ already has. I'm so glad that you sound like you are holding up pretty well and trying to understand God's plan for you. I will continue to pray for you!
Lots of love,
Lauren Szabo


At 9:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing that piece of BJ's Journal. Hang in there and STAY STRONG.

Jonathan Haag

At 9:16 PM, Blogger Linda said...

My computer was in the shop and I just got it back, however, my sister had tearfully told me of BJ's passing so you have been in my prayers. I know that you will have a tremendous void in your lives without BJ being here on earth. I didn't know him but it was easy to see that he was an obedient child of God. He touched so many lives and he was an example for everyone. Also, your strength and faith have been incredible.

God is good and His mercy endureth forever.

Linda Powell
Dunnavant, Alabama

At 9:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgins Family,
As a fellow believer,I continue to pray for your family!
In reading your last posts,I find myself comforted. Thank you!
It is strange, I came here to try and comfort you, and found, that infact it was I who would find comfort here!
Thank you for sharing B.J.'s journal with us. You are so blessed to have such a truly beautiful child.
I hope that I am not out of line when I say this, please forgive me if it seems that way. I was hoping that maybe one day you and your family could write a book about B.J. and his life, including his journal. It would be such an insperation and it is the kind of story that can change lives! It has mine!
Thank You B.J. your life example has made me a better person, I pray to be stronger in my walk with The Lord! You have lit a spark in me, that I cannot explain. I am blessed indeed!
Most Sincerely,
In Christ,
Mischel from Bethlehem, PA.

At 9:19 PM, Blogger Tara Case said...

I love his sweet heart. Blesses me beyond anything i can think of right now. I was drawing last night, pictures of feet. BJ always told me my pictures were beautiful..stick figures is what we are talking about! :-) The beauty he found in the simple heart desires that. To have a heart that looks like the Lords in that way, just as bjs does. Well, I am gonna start packing and getting everything ready to leave tomorrow. Still praying family!
Folling the Lords feet,
Tara Case
Yukon, Ok

At 9:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for continuing to share with those of us who are still reeling from the news of BJ's passing. I can't get over how mature in the Lord he was. He has made me reexamine my own walk with the Lord. You and Deanna were so blessed to have him in your lives - even if it was for too short a time. I know the girls will carry on his faith-sharing through their music. Our prayers continue to be with you all - we'll see you Friday. Under His wing, Jerry and DeAnn - Carmel

At 9:34 PM, Blogger Deanna said...

Thank You, Father, for allowing BJ to have such wonderful insight. How humbling it is for me, to be witnessed to by such a wonderful young man. I praise You for BJ's earthly parents. Obviously, they raised him so that he would not depart from the teaching of Your Word. Continue to uphold Brent, Deanna and the girls. The next two days will be emotionally draining. Please, Father, give them strength and energy. AMEN

Thank you, Brent and Deanna for sharing your precious BJ with us. It has been an amazing journey getting to know BJ. Please know that I am still praying!! Most of our family (the ones who have pink) are wearing pink tomorrow to honor BJ's wonderful testimony!! 2 of my sons are 13 and 15 and they are excited to do this in BJ's memory.

Prayerfully Yours -
Huntington, IN

At 9:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgins Family,

Praying that y'all continue to feel God's embrace and the prayers that are said for you all. What a gift your son left through his journals. During times of grief and joy these will be such a comfort to you. Please continue to update us on y'alls lives, so we can continue to pray for your needs, and to know that ya'll are alright. I too can't stop scrolling down through the archives to read the journal entries. BJ contiues to serve The Lord, even by his side! Sending ya'll a hug and prayers right now.
Because of HIM,
A sister in Christ,
NIcole, Eagle RIver Alaska

At 9:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

To the Higgins family, My name is Heather and Deanna was my dnow leader at FSBC in evansville and also one of my parents at super summer. I am so sorry to hear about your lose, but so full of Joy that BJ is with the Lord. Please know that I am praying for you and your family.

At 9:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Know that I am praying for you. I am very sorry to hear about your loss, but over joyed that BJ is home with the Lord.

Evansville, IN

At 9:55 PM, Blogger Ashley Reagan said...

Thank you for continuing to update us and for sharing more from BJ. I look forward to hearing a lot more from you and from BJ's thoughts. Looking forward to meeting you and your family. I pray for you all often. May you find peace tonight. Love you!

Ashley Dawn (peru 04)
Bixby, Oklahoma

At 10:05 PM, Blogger Andrea said...

Dear, Higgins Family,
My youth pastor just told us about your son,and told us to visit his web page. Your son BJ is a wounderful young man, he did what God wanted him to do to with no guestions. I hope when I have a child he has the heart of BJ.Your sin i dancing with the angels. So rejoice and be glad.

At 10:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgins Family,

I have read a lot of this & finally decided tonight is my night to comment. I pray for you & your family thru this difficult time. I am so inspired by all of your faith in our Lord Jesus Christ. I wanted to let you know that I attend a Catholic church. My daughter attends Catholic school. I know it makes no difference what church you attend it's just that you do. We can all learn from each other's different faiths, but it all comes down to the fact that we believe in God. I have learned a lot from you in the short time I have known about this. Tonight I had a meeting with a women's group from our church & we all prayed to God for your family for peace in this difficult time & the strength to get thru it. I just am in awe of how many lives you have all touched & continue to touch in sharing BJ's story. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing him with us & yourselves. You too sound like wonderful followers of Christ & I think THAT will be your greatest sense of peace. God has truly blessed your whole family in evangelizing. Keep up the good work, BJ must be so proud of you.

Greenfield, IN

At 10:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Greenfield IN

At 10:08 PM, Blogger Jacktopher Meils said...

This may have been asked and answered before, but do you plan on publishing his journals?

I think that would be a really good idea, although I can understand if that is not something you want to do.

At 10:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgins Family,
I am absolutely inspired by BJ's journal entries. It is an absolute encouragement to read. Your family is in my prayers. What an amazing God we serve!

At 10:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for continuing to share with us. You have no idea how much of an impact this has had on my life. I will continue to pray for y'all daily.


At 10:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying for you Lauren!
Praying for you Whitney!
Praying for you Deanna!
Praying for you Brent!

At 10:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

THANK YOU Nurse Melissa ~ you touched us all with your amazing message. Thank You for getting up and going to work everyday. Thank You for making a difference in the lives of hurting families and dying children. You make the title Nurse mean so much more than a textbook or a degree. May God bless your life, your work and may you live all your days serving Him!

At 10:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My daughter also went to Peru 2 years ago on a mission trip with her Interact Club which was sponsored by the Centerville Ohio Rotary Club. She spent a week at a poor orphanage that was the home for 85 deaf and mute children. It has changed her life forever. Your son and his story has touched my life this heart is heavy for you but is joyous for BJ as he is Home. I came to your story through the Mercy Me website as I bought tickets to their Christmas concert. I will pray for you and your family that you continue your faith and that you find some kind of comfort in knowing he's in God's hands. I'm sorry for your loss. I will think of you every time I listen to "I can only imagine" and "Homesick."
Hugs to all of you........God Bless you all.....
Kelly Eggers

At 10:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My tribute to BJ can only be that I believe in God, my salvation rests in God, and He is my Salvation and Hope. I know that only through God can we find joy and peace now. But not only that, we have a knowledge that BJ is alive with His Life, the Lord Jesus Christ. I thank God every day for the gift BJ was to all who knew him. I will miss him dearly, and I regret very much not knowing him more. But I know that I do still know him through our common love of the God Almighty! Praise be our gracious Lord and Savior. Without him we would all be lost and dead in soul. May BJ's life be an example to us all of how much the love of Christ can change the world. I pray that I will be worthy of knowing BJ by taking his example into my world. No words I can express will do justice to everything God has done and continues to do. I give the Alpha and Omega all praise for his love and strenght. May he keep you Brent, Diana, Lauren, and Whitney in His loving arms. May God bless you for your faith. I love you all and pray for you daily.

In Christ's boundless love,
Daphne Goodwin

At 10:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Higgins Family,
Prayers continue for you in Arlington, Texas. My Mom goes in for her mastectomy in the morning early (Thursday). If you (or anyone who reads this) would pray for her I would appreciate it. We fear her cancer has already spread... Her name is Esther and she lives in Fort Worth, Texas. Carol

At 11:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

bless your hearts. God, let them know you are near.

At 11:19 PM, Blogger a schmaltzee life said...

hi fam..

we are so looking forward to seeing you all.

i was thinking neat it will be to meet people at the worship service...and feel like we already know each other thru all of our blogs...recognizing names... it's gonna be so crazy...not just a reunion for our family...but a family celebration for our new "huge extended family"

thanks for the journal entry from BJ... last night at Bible study Chris taught on "Koinania" and we talked about that scripture in Acts that BJ was refering to....a life a complete fellowship with each other...and how others will see and turn to God.... this past couple of months...has been such a great example of that... and i know that people have seen the love of Christ's people...and turned their hearts to HIM!

hugs...can't wait to really hug you in person!

marla & gang

At 11:23 PM, Blogger jimmy cruz said...


At 11:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgins Family,
Before I go to bed I wanted to let you know that you are in my prayers. I came to love BJ and felt like I knew him. I thank you for making him a part of my life. I'm praying for you.
Lots of love,


At 11:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

When I was driving home from school Monday and I heard the news that morning. I relized how much he will be missed, and how he has and still is impacting others. I cried my eyes out, I lost it.He was so on fire for The Lord. It's so inspiring. BJ was and still is amazing. He influences people to press on in their walk. His journal entries are so influential! Even after he has passed he still influences people. Its so amazing!

Father I thank for the love that was poured into this child of Your's. I thank you for this amazing family. I thank you for all the times they have influenced me and lead me towards You. I pray that You would help them in this time, help them to move on through this and continue on. I pray all this in Your Name.

Dan Gabbard

At 11:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgins Family,

My name is Steve Pence and I served as Associate Pastor alongside Beth Renfore’s husband Dennis several years ago at Christ Wesleyan in Winston-Salem, NC. I was at another position recently but had to resign because of going legally blind. I am now back at Christ Wesleyan with the Renfroes and serve in the Middle School dept with David as one of my students.

We have been going through the Patriarchs of the bible and tonight’s lesson was on Job. I could not think of a better modern day example of faith through suffering than BJ. After reading his journal excerpts and hearing comments from Beth I realized that BJ was truly an example for us all. After we discussed Job tonight, I shared a slideshow of pictures of BJ and several of his journal excerpts and then I told them of his Homegoing. I’ve never seen or heard a more silent, somber group of middle-schoolers. As they sat in silence, Angela Renfroe shared how much BJ’s life and death meant to her and she challenged everyone to live by faith in Christ alone and to be willing to serve Him at all costs. She was very emotional and every word she said was completely heartfelt.

I shared that even though I was 40 years old, had been in ministry nearly 20 years and was a licensed minister that I wish I could fill BJ’s shoes and have the faith and courage he did. His life and death will continue to impact people who never knew him for many years to come. May God’s peace be with you.


Steve Pence

At 12:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I give my best to BJ's family and friends.

At 12:58 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

just wanted you to know i'm lifting you up in prayer this evening that god will grant you peace over the next 48 hours as you prepare and partake in bj's services. i pray that you will experience moments of healthy grieving, but also moments of joy over the next few days as you are flooded with the flocks of people who have loved and been touched by your amazing son. please know that we are all still praying for you and thinking of you often. it is so good to know that you are taking the time to feel what your heart is going through and ride the ups and downs of grieving bj's loss. i will continue to ask god to keep your hearts soft towards him as you grapple with and sort through the last several weeks in the weeks ahead. please know that in those moments that you feel too weak to speak, that we continue to pray on your behalf. we love you.

At 1:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgins Family,
I can only express my deepest sympathy in such a hard time. I know in my heart that your family is so strong and BJ's story has already reached so many people. The girls of my sorority house were together praying as soon as we heard of BJ's condition and I can't even tell you how many girls have came together to hear his story. His journals and your entries have given me the perfect opportunity to share the Word.
It has been a couple of years since I have seen you all, but I think about you always and the encouragement that you have always provided. Gen and I will see you Friday.

Much Love,
Brittany Hays

At 1:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgins family,
I just wanted to thank you for sharing your wonderful son with us. I feel as if I know you all, and it gives me hope for all mankind that there are boys like BJ out there. Sometimes you just get caught up in all the bad and discouraging events in the world, and then you stumble across BJ and his message and its just like a beacon in the dark. Thank you again, and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Molly in NY

At 1:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, I heard about BJ through the Mercy me mailing list, I am in Sydney , Australia and just want you to know that just the impact of reading this webpage has gone across the globe. things like his Journal entry you just shared inspires me to be more like our Lord. I wish I had known BJ but in some ways I feel I do and I know one day I will meet him. please know that I'm praying for you in this hard time, thanks for sharing.


At 2:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

thank you for continuing with the updates. want to know how you are all doing. nothing can be said to take away your pain but i hope it will be a comfort in the future to know that all this has been an inspiration to really live for Jesus. i'm in england so BJ's mission was to more countries than he knew. was reading in acts this morning how on the day stephen was killed the christians were scattered and preached the word all over the place. this seems similar.

At 2:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Brent, Deanna, Lauren, and Whitney,

My thoughts and prayers continually are with you as you experience the waves of bittersweet emotions in the wake of BJ's homegoing. I know there's overwhelming pain and loss while mingled at the same time with amazement and joy as you praise Jesus for how He has touched so many people through BJ's life and death. While I wish that I could join you and other family members as well as a host of friends who will be gathering today, because of recent absences I am unable to get away until after my 8:00 a.m. class tomorrow. Mom and I then will be leaving immediately to join you all for BJ's celebration service in the afternoon. May our heavenly Father who has walked with you daily through this deep valley continue to strengthen you and give you His comfort and peace. I love you all.

Love and prayers,
Wilmore, KY

At 6:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, I am about 15 min. away from driving to the airport. I will be home soon. What a honor and gift it will be to particapate in BJ's service. I will be back in Indy around lunch.

see you guys soon,

bf in sc

At 6:31 AM, Blogger xxxx said...

as the mother of sons, i can only hope they turn out as moral as bj. i hope to bring them to the funeral, so bj can minister to them.

At 6:43 AM, Blogger derekandmissy said...

You guys have really been on my mind and heart. Thank you for letting us inside your private lives during this incredibly difficult time. I have been blessed because of it. I am reminded of the song "Desparate for You." As I read BJ's journal, I see his desparation for God. Praise God that his thirst is now quenched as he lives in the very presence of God. I find BJ's "desparation for God" both encouraging and convicting. I want to be more like him.

I will continue to pray for you guys. We love you.

Derek Irvin
Fishers, IN

At 7:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgins Family
well i have just read about the whole story about BJ.well relly i can say he is a true role model for all believers.well the heart he has for lord is truly amazing.well his life relly inspired me.well even though he is younger to me i salute him for the way he served the lord. your family will be always be remebered in my prayers from now on .well i work in a hospital and i see young people battling for life and i ask lord why they have to suffer all this.but u know his thoughts are different from ours.well iam sos sorry tht i cannot be with u there in presence as iam from india but iam there with u in thought well for the word says IN EVERY THING GIVE PRAISE UNTO HIM just press on towards him and remeber tht jesus is in control ok
love u guys much
steve ganta

At 7:31 AM, Blogger Barbara Ann said...

I am so encouraged by those words. Last night at church we worshipped so greatly and I found myself just standing in Awe of God, with really no words to say. I just thought of how in our whole lifetime of worshipping God and seeing God move and seeing God's glory, BJ saw that all within the first minute or less of being with our Saviour. It makes me want to worship Our God even more and just make His name great in all the world. Thank you so much for continueing to update us about how you are doing...I can't wait to meet you on Friday.

Still Praying...
Barbara Ann Sheely
Piedmont, OK (Peru 05)

At 7:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prayers will help us
through this
challenging day

At 7:39 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My children made cards for you yesterday, Higgins family--with no help or critiques from me (that in itself is pretty amazing for a homeschool mom). Karissa wrote a beautiful letter, but added a picture to it last night. You will see it soon, but I wanted to share part of it here. Her picture shows BJ kneeling in heaven, worshiping while he hears the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant." BJ is easy to recognize, but(I guess for those who don't GET IT) she put a small notation by his side: "pink T-shirt, ha ha."

I will echo others' thanks, Brent and Deanna, for raising a son whose life has challenged the old and the young, the Christ-followers and the not-there-yets, the students on the other side of the world and the nurses in PICU. Thank you for the precious gift of BJ. I am praying for you especially as you face these two wonderful and terrible days. May God continue to bless you abundantly with His matchless peace and power--

praying in pink,

Marti for the Pieper Family
Charleston, SC (And thanks, "On Our Knees"--I know God will make a way to get in touch!)

At 7:59 AM, Blogger toddyoumans said...

Brent, Deanna, Lauren, Whitney,

Thank you for sharing these journal entries. They are truly inspiring to all of us who read them.

It blows me away at how mature in Christ BJ was in this life!! It blows me away and at the same time motivates me to live my life in a manner that is pleasing to God.

We continue to lift all of you guys up in our prayers. We look forward to spending some time with you this evening and to be there to celebrate BJ's life with you Friday.

All our love,
Todd, Jes & Andrew Y.

At 8:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was one of the ECMO team that cared for BJ, and was greatly saddened to hear of his passing. At the same time, what a blessing to us all he has been! An example of more people whom he has touched: Yesterday I was at the Fishers YMCA for an excercize class, and at the end of the class the instructor, who attends the same church as the Higgins family, spoke to the class about him and gave the web site address for anyone interested. She spoke of how reading the web info every day has impacted her family and friends. How many 15 year old's have the ability to touch as many lives as he has!!

At 8:08 AM, Blogger Mission To Perkinston, MS said...

I just read the blog after returning from helping the Hurricane victims in Mississippi and am so sorry that BJ passed away but want to praise our Lord for His promise that BJ is in Heaven and that you will see him again.

I lost my mother 2 years ago to cancer and know the struggle a family goes through. A parent should never have to bury a child but God, in His infinite wisdom, will pull you through your "journey" and continue to show you that BJ's death was not in vain. My mother said that if one comes to Christ because of her death, then she will consider her death a success.

God Bless and keep you and may His light shine upon you. May you experience everything that God has for you and wants to share with you in this time of grief.

In His time...

Cathy Young
Huntsville, AL

At 8:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

When my nephew passed this past Jan. my brother said to me after the service."If only one person finds our Lord from my sons death, then it is worth the loss of my son."
This site,your family and BJ have changed the lives of MANY!
Tears of joy and sorrow, for we know BJ is in the loving arms of our heavly father.
BJ's journals continue to keep him with us all.
Thanks for sharing,
We love you,
Lora J.

At 8:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I will be praying for you today and is amazing how many lives BJ has touched...God Bless you and your family

Greenfield, Indiana

At 8:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You should never doubt the way you raised BJ. You did a wonderful job. You raised 3 beautiful, amazing, loving, caring and talented children. I'm sure God is happy with you and Deanna also. I agree with other commenters, you are a very good writer, and we all look forward to the next entry. I never thought at my age, nearly 50, that I could learn so much from a 15 year old, but he challenged me so much and I am renewing my comittment to our Lord. We would love to help in any way we can to help with keeping BJ's story going. Just let us know!

At 8:33 AM, Blogger Nic and Jen said...

Dear Higgins family,
Wow, when I read BJ's journal entry.... it is so amazing. A young teen with such a heart for the Lord. He is an amazing testimony to others. I keep checking the site for more postings from you guys to see how you are doing. Your family has truly inspired me and given me a faith like I have never had before.
In Christ,
Jennifer, WA

At 8:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgins family,
I am so overcome with sorrow for your family yet so full of joy at the thought of bj being with our Lord and Savior, Oh what a glorious day that will be to stand before our King. I am reminded of the Hymn "On Jordan's Stormy Banks", and it just says "Where sickness, sorrow, pain and death are felt and fear NO MORE",what anamazing truth. Your son has a spoken truth into my life and I only met him once. Know that my prayers go out to you, that the God of Love would grant peace and comfort.

Heather Smith

At 8:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


The will of God will never take you,
where the Grace of God cannot keep you,
where the Arms of God cannot support you,
where the Riches of God cannot supply your needs,
where the Power of God cannot endow you.

The will of God will never take you,
where the Spirit of God cannot work through you,
where the Wisdom of God cannot teach you,
where the Army of God cannot protect you,
where the Hands of God cannot mold you.

The will of God will never take you,
where the Love of God cannot enfold you,
where the Mercies of God cannot sustain you,
where the Peace of God cannot calm your fears,
where the Authority of God cannot overrule you.

The will of God will never take you,
where the comfort of God cannot dry your tears,
where the Word of God cannot feed you,
where the Miracles of God cannot be done for you,
where the Omnipresence of God cannot find you.

At 8:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with the others that mentioned you should write a book about BJ and include his journal entries. Hey, maybe you could title it 'BJ's Journal ministry'

Still praying in Kentucky!

At 8:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Deanna, This is to let you know I am lifting you up in prayer as BJ's mom. I pray for the Lord's strength as you face the many difficult lonely days ahead as you long to hold him and hear his voice. Jesus understands your every thought and emotion just as He understood his mother's grief.

Much love and many prayers,also to Brent and the girls.

Hoping to worship with you if the service is on line.

At 9:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


Dearest Higgins Family,

We continue to pray for your strength today...a new day with new feelings, decisions, and yes, new mercies. May our God continue to show Himself in new & intimate way to you today.

In Him,
The McMahans

At 9:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Know that we are keeping your family in our prayers, espically today and on Friday. I pray that God will give you peace and comfort you through this time of sorrow.

Laura Montgomery

At 2:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is to the poster above who replied to my first message.

Alas, at one time I did believe... but how can one continue down the path of blind faith if BJ can be taken away from us so haphazardly? One day you have BJ, then it feels like BJ is gone for an eternity...

BJ should be in our lives every day, it would make the world a better place. If Jesus would give us BJ directly, it would cure both my need for BJ in my life, as well as my lack of faith in a god.

Peace and BJ to you all.

At 2:38 PM, Blogger Glen said...

Just wanted to let you know that our small group has been praying for BJ and now BJ will be leading this weeks study ---- we decided a month ago that this Saturday evening our group would be studying Elijah. Thanks for sharing his journal thoughts on Elijah.

We Love You - Glen & Gabe

At 6:11 PM, Blogger Steph said...

GOD is so great !!!!
I am very happy to say I will be celebrating with you on friday Lord willing.
I again thank you for this site. You all are a huge inspiration to me .I love you . BJ was a huge inspiration to me also .I will never forget him or the things he thought me .I had only known him a year and it seemed like a life time . I thank GOD for him and I would not go back and change any thing ,well exept I would have told him what he ment to me as a friend .BJ was always loyal and you could depend on him . A wonderful friend . I thank GOD for the oppertunity to be a part of his life {journey}.

Lauren and Whitney
I love ya and hope to see you soon.I will keep praying for you strength.

MONROVIA,Stephanie .T.

At 7:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


It may seem like BJ believed in a God who hapazardly took him from us. But our God is not a haphazard God, nor does He do things randomly without thought or purpose. If He did, that would be the utmost cruelty. However, He is a God of love who cannot and will not go against His character of love. He has a plan, the perfect plan, that I must admit, eludes us at times. But we must trust that He always acts out of love. We live in a world that is tainted by sin and full of disease and death. But God can and does bring good out of anything bad that happens to His followers.
God in His perfect plan allowed His own perfect Son to die... even for a world of sinful people who didn't deserve His sacrifice. Jesus willing laid down His life for each of us, that includes you and me. The greatest gift any one could give you is to lay down their life for you. Neither you nor I will find anyone who would do that except Jesus Christ. When you read BJ's journal entries you will see how much he believed in Jesus and loved Him as well. Because of this BJ is in heaven with Jesus now. See, BJ is not dead, he's just not here. All of us who trust Jesus as our personal Lord and Saviour get to spend eternity with Jesus and will also get to see BJ again one day. I can tell you loved BJ and if he were here today, he'd share with you that Jesus is The Bridge that connects a sinful mankind to a holy God and he would share with you how much he loved Jesus. And I'm sure BJ would want to see you in heaven, b/c he would go anywhere and give his life to share Jesus' good news with anyone. If you should want to talk to one of BJ's good friends, call Northside Baptist Church where BJ's family goes and ask for Tony Manning, Minister to Students. I don't know him but I'm sure he'd count it a privilage to talk to you.

Prayerfully, Someone who cares.

At 11:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgins family,

I continue to lift you up in my prayers.

Thank you so much for the incredible example of faith and obedience that your family has shown during a time when you could have been so selfish.

I only met BJ twice this summer. Once at Plainfield Baptist and once when I hung out with he and Heather Schaper. But just through being around people that knew BJ I have seen the incredible way that God used his life. Glory be to God!

Katie Bearce
Louisville, KY

At 12:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgins Family,
This is Kaleb Willock I am so angry. I had know idea that he died. He was my best friend at church. Jake West told me at ate school. I cant amagen how you feel.I am praying. I miss church and BJ. phone# 5772625

At 3:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...



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