Monday, November 27, 2006

I will freely admit, I do not enjoy talking on the phone. Yes, I have a cell phone. Yes, I use it to communicate with family, friends, and for business. However, it is not my favorite thing to do. I would rather be face to face any day. In lieu of the opportunity, however, I have learned that I must use my phone to stay in touch.

It isn't that I do not want to share with the party on the other end. It is that I am easily diverted, and sometimes agenda driven. Talking on the phone seems a distraction. It keeps me at times from accomplishing the 'task at hand.'

Sharing this, will likely bring about an element of sarcasm from those I speak with regularly via the cellular airwaves. Hear me, I do want to talk to you, I just am not very good at doing two things at once.

If I wait until I am ready to speak with someone on the tele, they will often wait much longer than they would desire to receive that call. This is primarily because talking on the phone is pretty low on my list of priorities.

In my work, I speak on the phone routinely. It is my primary means of being able to communicate with missionaries overseas, and students I work with. It is necessary. If I don't do it, important things don't get done. Important information does not get conveyed. Things fall apart.

Deanna and I have spent over 100 hours on the phone over the last months as we have been sharing our story in preparation for the 'BJ book.' I do not regret a single one of those phone calls. They were and are very necessary both in our healing, and in conveying a story that must be told.

A story that must be told, is often the issue. Everyone has a different idea of what that means. Some must share that they just found an incredible deal at the mall. Others must talk about that incredible buck they just shot. Still others want only to hear the voice on the other end, because miles separate them, and the 'story' is unimportant, but the conversation...the connection is what matters.

I want to talk to my wife everyday, whenever I can. Sometimes, I am not receptive when she calls, because I am otherwise involved at the moment. If I can, I set this aside, and talk. Why? Because she is my wife...the love of my life. I want to hear what is on her heart. I have to put away my childish attitude toward the phone, and listen...and sometimes talk. It is important that we communicate. If I am unwilling to share with her over the phone, it often sets the tone for how we 'get along,' later that evening. Can I just say, that is not a good thing.

Much in life is learning not to be selfish. Being willing to share whether I feel like it or not. Often those closest to me, already know how I feel, they just want to know why I feel that way.

When we were in Africa and needed to communicate back to the states, my phone was my lifeline. When I did not have signal, it was most frustrating. There were parents waiting back at home, wanting the information I had. It was important to get the message out.

When I was unable to reach anyone by phone, I had to find an alternative to be able to share.

Recently, a loved one of mine went through a most difficult time because another party, could not or would not communicate. The hardship this created was unbearable at times.

Our communication with our Savior is often like this. We are too busy, or otherwise occupied with our own agenda. Stopping to communicate is not our top priority. Our thoughts run along the vein that "He already knows what we are facing, time is short, why doesn't He just intervene?"

Communication with our God is a two way street.

If we were in love with someone, it would be most presumptuous to never call them if we expected that relationship to grow. How can your love increase without the gift of your phone or face to face?

We will never grow in our knowledge or intimacy with another or our Savior, if we do not commit time to communicate. It may not be what we want to do. It may not be when we want to do it. But, It must be done.

If we are not willing to commit the time, are we really in love? Too often, my own selfishness is revealed by my lack of desire to communicate.

We must speak to the one we love...we must speak to the One we love. If we cannot be face to face, then by phone... or on my face, so that the Other/other knows I care.

Please forgive me for my selfishness.



At 9:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for teaching me Dad

At 9:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a great message and a great truth......thank you for sharing your heart today and "Communicating" with the rest of us.

At 11:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Familiar with the tasking approach to work; married to one. I hate that response to my calls which communicate that I have once again intruded into the task at hand. Guess the Lord allows this to keep me humble. Somehow I think I should be number 1, not number 3. Sometimes it hurts, but after 25 years, it's just part of the routine. I'm amazed that the Lord never responds with that attitude. He has 'bigger fish' to fry but He takes the time to listen to my childish dreams and frustrations. He is my best friend. Thanks for the reminder, Brent.

At 1:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I, too, am married to a "task-oriented" man. He is so busy - all the time! Those few moments when he does really STOP, it takes him quite some time to be focused on what it is at hand or right in front of him. So often, I want to give him the gift of "tuning out" his busy mind and body, and just rest in Him. When he does this, which is rarely, he then realizes to do the same for us, his family. He is a successful man. He gives continually to his family and others around him. But to rest with the Savior, especially this season, makes so much sense in the midst of the chaos the world wants us to focus on! Rest in Him, your family and yourself this season of Christs' birth!

At 1:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I needed to hear that. Thank you.

At 4:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


this is something i struggle w/. especially the time and busyness part. its been a huge learning process being at school and not having a regimented schedule to follow and a place/time to put everything. its still a work in progress.. not even going to lie..

love you! hope that your day was fabulous! hope that your time w/your family was awesome as well!

its like 6 weeks-ish til i get to see you again!

love you! praying always..


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