Monday, December 11, 2006

Sometime after the Columbine shootings, the Lord called me to that high school. I believe I may have referenced it before. I cannot explain it to you. I do not generally possess a morbid curiosity, but I knew I had to be there...actually to the high hill behind the school, where the memorials were temporarily set up. Six months to the day, I stood atop that hill, seeking the Lord as to why I was there. A visceral ache nearly overwhelmed me. Cassie Bernall and Rachel Scott were two of the martyrs from that day.

Then again, another tragedy occurred, years later. I had no plans to go to the big city. I do not like "big cities." Once again the Lord began to tug on my heart, and six months to the day after 9-11, I peered out a window of an adjacent building that the Lord had opened the doors for me to enter, and looked down into the rubble of 2 former skyscrapers. Thousands died here. Many were not believers...probably most.

I do not claim to understand His purposes in these things. I only know He was preparing me. He had something for me to see. He wanted me to be present at these sites.

After the first experience, I returned to the youth group I was pastor of at that time. I shared about my journey. The Lord gripped the hearts of the students as I shared. At the conclusion, one of them came up to me and said, "while you were speaking, God told me that we are supposed to write a song together (now that student travels the world with his band proclaiming the name of Jesus to a lost world...he truly enters some of the darkest places)."

I laughed (not at him, but at the thought that I would write a song). I told him, "then God will have to give me the words, because I do not write songs."

A few days later, during my quiet time, the Lord began to pour through me. I wrote as the Lord put words on my heart. The words would be penetrating. I surrendered those words to the Lord and then that young man.

A time later, he returned to me with music which he had added to the lyrics. As he played, I was overcome with just how haunting this song was.

Later, my wife would add harmonies to the song. The harmonies, almost difficult to listen to, increased the depth of the song. My family took that song and performed it. Deanna accompanied on the piano and she and the girls sang, each taking turns on melody and then harmonizing on the chorus. BJ played the cello along with this.

His cello playing skills had improved over the years, but what he added to this song would once again be "haunting." The instrument was the perfect backdrop to such a difficult song to hear.

Though it somehow seems to cheapen the whole experience to write it, my family won a contest with this song.

As I was unpacking this past weekend, I came across the lyrics. In reviewing them today, I see things in that song I had no idea it would mean on the day the Lord gave them to me.

When I was at Columbine, the passage of scripture the Lord had given me was Isaiah 13. If you read it, you will see how He used it in the lyrics. Here they are:

I sought your face in a time you directed
And quickly threw my arms up in defeat
'Til you told me post a banner on a hilltop
I didn't understand where you were sending me

Some have died and others will follow
Prepare the way your telling me
You have summoned you're warriors to the present
Please fill them and send them in deep

Upon a mountain not a sound can be heard
Until a great multitude of two or three
You draw us together in the presence of your Spirit
Anoint us, send us, set them free.

Some have died and others will follow
Prepare the way you're telling me
You have summoned your warriors to the present
Please fill them and send them in deep

Wail for the day of the Lord is near
We must run before they flee
God has called us to bring His presence
To those who are limp and terror seized

Some have died and others will follow
Prepare the way you're telling me
You have summoned your warriors to the present
Please fill them and send them in deep.

I share this with you to reflect how the Lord had been preparing our hearts for what would come.

Many have given their lives for Him. Many have died without Him. We cannot change what has passed, but we can carry His Light into the future. We can help make a difference in the lives of others.



At 12:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am Awesome! God is so Great!!! I just truly have no words...

May God bless you today, and always!

Linda Anderson

At 3:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

HI Brent.

It is amazing how if we just trust in the Lord, things become clearer as to their purpose sometime down the road. Of course, that doesn't mean that we like what may have happened any better, but it sheds some light as to how God is always present, always helping us walk through those difficult times all the while planting seeds to help us grow through the pain, through the suffering, through the loss.

Bless you all today, Tina

At 4:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Still following your journey and praying for you in Arlington, Texas.

At 6:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your cousins Angla, David, and Matthew go to my church. Your family came to my church ladt year. I g to the church CWC in Wiston-Salem Nc

At 11:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow.. that's really amazing. Have I told you about the dreams I've had where I was one of the Columbine martyrs? Praying for you, love you.



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