My Precious Beej,

Merry Christmas!

How I miss you.

This season, as we celebrate the birth of our King, you have opportunity to behold Him in glorious light. How incredible your view must be. How I long to see what you see.

Your absence is not easy for me. How I long to share and lift up praises side by side with you. The platform at church seems ever empty to me without you occupying that spot just in front of the baptistry. Your bass still stands (at home) where it always has, as if it is waiting for you.

The house is so quiet. Not that you made a lot of noise, but your presence was always known. Our memories with you are so precious and sweet.

I miss your stoking the fire, endlessly, as we both gazed into it. It seemed to transport us both to different places, yet we were together. Now, I hold you in my heart, seeing you as I stare alone.

There is so much I want you to know. So much I want to say to you. Christ in you has made a difference in so many lives. You would be embarassed, as songs have been written about you, mission funds named after you, people are quoting your writings, and your silly little sayings keep popping up. You have inspired so many people to pursue their relationships with Christ at new depths. Christ through you, has unified the church...at least for a time. Thousands prayed for you, mourned your loss, cried for a man of God they never knew.

Joshua holds your sword. He has committed to taking your place on the field. So have scores of others, some you know, many you do not. How such a small "little man" could leave such a vast wake, is something only the One you now behold can explain.

I miss your perpetual voice. I confess there were times I wanted you to be quiet. I never meant for this long. It has been nearly three months since you left, and well over four since I heard you speak. Somehow though, your voice reverberates across the nations. Beej, man of God, you left a legacy. One that inspires, motivates, encourages, and at times, even haunts.

Because of your love for Jesus, your understanding beyond your years, the way you lived your life, and the journals you left us, many are coming to Him. You have done well, son. I am proud of who you were. I am proud of who you are. I am forever changed because of you.

We will celebrate the birth of our King without you this year, knowing you are celebrating with Him. The sword shall always be the symbol of your life. It will occupy our photographs of this Christmas, while your memory will live on in our hearts, and in the lives of many who know Jesus, because of your faithfulness.

I look forward to seeing you again.

I miss you, and I love you.

dad