Last night, after more Christmas shopping, Deanna and I collapsed into a couple of comfy chairs at Starbucks. As I drifted off in thought Deanna asked me where I was. I told her I was thinking about Beej. Little things... how he always ordered root beer with no ice, wore socks to bed, huddled on the floor to do his quiet time, etc.

Then I told her how in hindsight that it appeared the Lord had begun to prepare us for our "empty nest." A couple of years ago, while on a mission trip to Alaska, Lauren was asked to stay, when the rest of our group returned home. She was needed to counsel youth at a wilderness camp - Echo Ranch- as a replacement for another who had been injured. Leaving her behind, knowing I could not talk to her, knowing she had no flight booked, knowing all the normal parental securities were absent, was the most difficult thing I had done to that point. As I prepared to board a return flight, we wept together, and made quite a scene.

Leaving her at college (as a freshman) a few months later, was suddenly a very easy task.

Next, the Lord moved us to Highland Lakes Baptist Camp to take on a ministry position. We left Whitney in the watchcare of some dear friends back in Indy, so that she could finish her senior year of high school at Carmel. That became very traumatic for us, as we did not expect the kind of separation that ensued. We lost her a year earlier than we expected, and it was not easy.

In the meantime, sending Beej to the mission field seemed like a much easier decision. We knew he was ready, we knew the Lord was leading him there. We would not say "no," not even now. (Lauren is to go to Africa in the spring, and more mission trips are on the horizon for our family, Lord willing).

We did not expect the ultimate outcome. When Beej passed, and we returned home, we had our girls with us... we all slept in the same bed that first night...but eventually they left to return to their lives, their callings, and our home emptied, and it echoes. There don't seem to be enough bodies to deaden the sound. We lost him, not a couple months early, not a year early, but a lifetime early.

Oh how we anticipate Lauren and Whitney's arrival home for Christmas break. Lauren returns tonight, and Whit later.

Our nest is empty, but our hearts are full. Full of the love of Christ. How He has sustained us, and held us. Because we are His, He will continue. His promises are true, and He is faithful. When God our Father allowed His one and only Son to be condemned and crucified, His pain must have been so much greater than ours. He was born to die...for He bore the weight of the world, and His Father knew this, and still he allowed Him to come.

Love your children as God loves you, but when He calls them, His plan, His security, His timing is what matters in their lives. Do not be a hindrance to the call on the lives of your offspring. The Creator of all is on the throne, He will carry you through the difficult days if your eyes are on Him. Oh how He loves you and me!

dad