In case you missed it, I did post one of Beej's writings yesterday at midday. You'll find it below this one.

Since the passing of my son, actually, it began before that, when Beej began sharing God's call for him to North Africa, the Lord affirmed in my heart that he was to go. Naturally, as he was journeying through disease (believed to be Bubonic Plague) I believed that the Lord would heal him, and he would still go to North Africa. I believed he would have one powerful testimony. A platform from which to minister, both here and across the world.

That has taken on a form I did not anticipate or expect. Clearly, the Lord's will is still being accomplished, but it is happening in a way I could not foretell in my fleshly wisdom.

My father was in the air force, way back when. Just before he got out, he spent time in the same North African country that Beej was called to. The Lord gave me a sense of His will for Beej to be there, somehow, completing a circle. I did not claim to understand it.

Upon his death, we began to struggle with what God was doing. I admit, my wife and girls were of one heart, believing we were to go in his place. I was not so convinced. I had told the Lord a long time ago that I would go anywhere He wanted, except for Africa. I pleaded with Him not to send me there. I cannot even tell you why, I just did. I have a fear that is probably tied to missionary stories I heard as a child.

Since that time, the Lord has gently shown me, sign after sign, revealing His plan. Initially, I was certain I was creating these somehow on my own. I resisted. I could not see how He could work out the details for this to occur.

Recently, Deanna and I were headed out on a Friday evening. We had not made a decision about where to eat. God planted within my spirit the need to go to a particular restaurant. One I did not really want to go to. Trying to be obedient to what seemed like a rather foolish and insignificant whim, I suggested the place, and we went.

We were seated, received our menus, placed our orders, then sat back to relax and wait. In doing so, I looked at the decor around me. Hanging in poster form, next to Deanna, was why the Lord wanted us to go there. I laughed as I saw it, and pointed it out to her. What I was looking at was a movie poster of a film carrying a title of the most famous city of the North African country God was calling us to.

I had been seeking Him hard on his direction for us. This was no random coincidence. There are no random coincidences in Christ. He sees that we see what He wants us to see, in His timing... if we are obedient.

This past Sunday morning, our pastor preached a sermon that rocked my foundation. God spoke to my heart and said, "What are you waiting for?." I proceeded to go up to him to share that in fact, the Lord had called us to go to North Africa this summer. I conveyed that God had huge details to work out, but that I knew He wanted me there.

This being the case, Deanna and I (and possibly Lauren and Whitney) will go to North Africa this summer. In the presence of my Awestar family who were with us Sunday morning, I surrendered to go. We along with Rachel, an Awestar director, will lead a group of missionaries into a Muslim world that I as of yet, know very little about.

Somehow, God has a plan, that will see three generations of Higgins men pass into a country that needs Jesus. The last to carry the name will remain behind. Yes, my son will go. At least a part of him. We will take a portion of his ashes, and these will be dispersed in the last country God called him to. It will be my honor to go in his stead. I am more fearful than he, but he laid his life down for his Savior, his King. I am compelled to go and do likewise. "God will give me the strength, and do these things through me," Beej said.

Thank you son for following God's call, and leading the way!

dad