Tuesday, January 17, 2006

In case you missed it, I did post one of Beej's writings yesterday at midday. You'll find it below this one.

Since the passing of my son, actually, it began before that, when Beej began sharing God's call for him to North Africa, the Lord affirmed in my heart that he was to go. Naturally, as he was journeying through disease (believed to be Bubonic Plague) I believed that the Lord would heal him, and he would still go to North Africa. I believed he would have one powerful testimony. A platform from which to minister, both here and across the world.

That has taken on a form I did not anticipate or expect. Clearly, the Lord's will is still being accomplished, but it is happening in a way I could not foretell in my fleshly wisdom.

My father was in the air force, way back when. Just before he got out, he spent time in the same North African country that Beej was called to. The Lord gave me a sense of His will for Beej to be there, somehow, completing a circle. I did not claim to understand it.

Upon his death, we began to struggle with what God was doing. I admit, my wife and girls were of one heart, believing we were to go in his place. I was not so convinced. I had told the Lord a long time ago that I would go anywhere He wanted, except for Africa. I pleaded with Him not to send me there. I cannot even tell you why, I just did. I have a fear that is probably tied to missionary stories I heard as a child.

Since that time, the Lord has gently shown me, sign after sign, revealing His plan. Initially, I was certain I was creating these somehow on my own. I resisted. I could not see how He could work out the details for this to occur.

Recently, Deanna and I were headed out on a Friday evening. We had not made a decision about where to eat. God planted within my spirit the need to go to a particular restaurant. One I did not really want to go to. Trying to be obedient to what seemed like a rather foolish and insignificant whim, I suggested the place, and we went.

We were seated, received our menus, placed our orders, then sat back to relax and wait. In doing so, I looked at the decor around me. Hanging in poster form, next to Deanna, was why the Lord wanted us to go there. I laughed as I saw it, and pointed it out to her. What I was looking at was a movie poster of a film carrying a title of the most famous city of the North African country God was calling us to.

I had been seeking Him hard on his direction for us. This was no random coincidence. There are no random coincidences in Christ. He sees that we see what He wants us to see, in His timing... if we are obedient.

This past Sunday morning, our pastor preached a sermon that rocked my foundation. God spoke to my heart and said, "What are you waiting for?." I proceeded to go up to him to share that in fact, the Lord had called us to go to North Africa this summer. I conveyed that God had huge details to work out, but that I knew He wanted me there.

This being the case, Deanna and I (and possibly Lauren and Whitney) will go to North Africa this summer. In the presence of my Awestar family who were with us Sunday morning, I surrendered to go. We along with Rachel, an Awestar director, will lead a group of missionaries into a Muslim world that I as of yet, know very little about.

Somehow, God has a plan, that will see three generations of Higgins men pass into a country that needs Jesus. The last to carry the name will remain behind. Yes, my son will go. At least a part of him. We will take a portion of his ashes, and these will be dispersed in the last country God called him to. It will be my honor to go in his stead. I am more fearful than he, but he laid his life down for his Savior, his King. I am compelled to go and do likewise. "God will give me the strength, and do these things through me," Beej said.

Thank you son for following God's call, and leading the way!

dad

17 Comments:

At 8:54 AM, Blogger Lattany said...

BJ, indeed, has a powerful testimony, as you said -- here and throughout the world.

Your faithfulness to this calling is a part of that profound testimony. It's my privilege to pray for you all in this.

Lattany
Fairfax, VA, USA

 
At 8:55 AM, Blogger Melissa said...

Brent, I hope that your family will allow us, your blog family to help with some of the expenses that I'm sure you will incur following God's calling. Please develop a fund of some sort that we can donate to and allow us to help you fulfill BJ's wish to go to North Africa. It's the least we can do for a family who has meant so very much to us!

God bless you all as you prepare for this next endeavor.

 
At 9:39 AM, Anonymous Pat Davila said...

God has a vision and a plan for your family and you are obedient to follow. You are in His will and you are all a great testimony of His strength. We will be praying for your family on this journey and we will wait to hear what you will all do for His glory

Pat Davila
NY

 
At 9:45 AM, Blogger Praying in Pink said...

Kristen shared about her Awe Star Christmas trip in our church Sunday night, and will give another presentation to a youth group at another church on Wednesday. The congregation responded so enthusiastically to her sharing of God's amazing work and to her passion for sharing the Gospel--she responded to so many of their questions, and all her Awe Star brochures disappeared immediately!

I think the response that meant most to her was that of her younger brother, Andrew, who has been praying about joining her on the spring break trip to Nuevo Laredo. He told her that now he knows God wants him to go. They began filling out the applications together yesterday as we continue to seek God's guidance.

Lattany, we will pray for your trip and for His protection spiritually and physically. Brent and Deanna--I so appreciate the way you are listening for His call and watching Him work, not just assuming you need to do one thing (or another) because of BJ. It's a strong reminder to me to listen for His voice--whether He speaks through His Word--a circumstance such as a poster on a restaurant wall--another believer--or as I meet with Him in prayer.

Lifting up David's surgery and remembering so many other needs from our blog family today--remember BJ's call to clothe ourselves with armor for the Battle!

belonging to Him,

Marti

 
At 10:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Family!

I'm moved to tears yet again as I hear and feel the Lord speaking to me! I'm blessed to continually read more about the AweStar family as I am traveling there this week to meet the crew and be present at the Conference on Sunday! I cannot wait to meet Rachel, Walker & the staff :) Higgins family, it is because of your sons FAITHFULNESS and your OBEDIENCE to share him with the world that I (& many others) have been hooked up with an organization that is ready to send our world into their world to bridge the GAP in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ and His LOVE!!!

Thank you for your hearts and for your willingness to share them!

May the Lord bless you in adundance as you seek Him and GIVE of yourselves!

Love & prayers to you~

Laurel, San Diego

 
At 12:26 PM, Anonymous Brittany Di Salvo said...

Thank you for this post.. and thank you for showing up at practice yesterday. Even if I only saw you for a short time, it truly blessed me and made my day. God's presence in you challenged me and put me in a place I can't explain.. so thank you. Just being there was a huge encouragement.
Praying hard for you as you continue to seek the Lord and His will. And pray the same for me, I don't know what He's doing.. but it's an amazing thing. I seek adventure and I'm looking to be blown away. But even if He chooses not to do that, I know He'll be glorified and I'll be changed - forever.
Love you all

Philippians 3:10 - I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship in sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death.

 
At 2:56 PM, Anonymous Bonnie said...

That is such an amazing story. I am so blessed by all of the ways that God is revealing himself to you and your family...I'm still in awe of it. I've never witnessed anything like it.

 
At 2:57 PM, Blogger NatenAmy said...

When Beej came back from Peru, he told us about God calling him to go to North Africa. He asked for our prayers and our help, and we promised him he would have both!
Since he will not go, in the flesh, we promise the same thing to the four of you!
I remember seeing the fire in his eyes and in his heart when he spoke to me of where he was called to go. He sat in the back seat of our car from church on the way to El Rodeo (actually he was practically sitting between Nate and I because he was leaning so far forward in his excitement) and talked the entire way there! He wanted to know what I knew about the country, the language, the people, the culture... That is the last conversation I had with Beej before he went to the hospital! Nate and I saw the fire, and we want to help keep the flame burning.
We are praying for you. That His vision and purpose will be ever clear as you seek His direction!
We love you... LOTS.
Amy (and Nate too)

 
At 3:34 PM, Anonymous kristin dutt said...

Oh wow.. i miss him today. i dont usually cry when i read your posts.. but today i do.

i am thrilled beyond words to hear of your official decision to go to N. Africa. What an incredible trip that will be.

i love you both.. so sorry again that i couldn't be there.

~kristin

 
At 3:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

For anyone who would like to support the ministry of the Higgins family to North Africa, they can make tax deductible donations to:

Awe Star Ministry
BJ Higgins NA Scholarship Funds
PO Box 470265
Tulsa, Oklahoma 74147

Walker Moore
President
Awe Star Ministries-

 
At 3:57 PM, Anonymous Rachel said...

Brent,

I feel your heart in your words and they have moved me to tears. I am amazed at our Savior's love, and the sweet, subtle ways He expresses it. We miss them when we are too stubborn or fearful. But this is all one beautiful, intricate story that we will finally get to see completed when we too go home. I thank God for your compassionate, courageous heart. Instead of responding to life and its trials in the flesh and becoming hard and bitter, you have responded in the Spirit and shown Christ in you. There are huge details to work out, but there are no coincidences. He has called you to the task of preaching the gospel in North Africa. We know very little, but He will prepare and equip us for every good work. Whatever we still lack He is building up. And though we will not be perfect when we go, Jesus is in us, and that is enough.

Serving the King beside you,
your partner, Rachel

 
At 7:14 PM, Blogger Ashley Reagan said...

Thank you so much for sharing your calling with us, and your struggles as well. Believe me when I say that I will be praying for you all as you go. I know it will be hard, but as AweStar says, "Where God guides, He provides."

I just wanted to share that today, one of my teachers at school wanted to see my pictures from Peru 04. I put an album together with little notes so that she could understand what was going on. Another student also wanted to look at the pictures. This student is of a different religion/cult. She was asking me lots of questions and one of them she asked was, "Does Peru have many diseases?” … It was hard, but I got to share BJ’s story with her and it was amazing to see their reaction of awe at his story. I’m hoping that it will sink in more and she and another student who overheard will see the truth. I wanted to share that with you and let you know that people are still asking and being moved. Thank you again for what you all have been doing and for the lives you have been inspiring… including mine. I love you guys!

Ashley Dawn

 
At 7:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is just beautiful. I pray that you have a safe journey and a successful mission.
Laura
Dade City, FL

 
At 10:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

How great is our God!

 
At 11:50 PM, Anonymous Meagann Earnhardt said...

Oh Family how I miss being with you!! I can't put into words what this past weekend ment to me!! Thank You for sharing the awesome calling from God, and of course I am always praying for you guys. I Love you all!!

 
At 12:17 PM, Anonymous Carol said...

Still praying for you in Arlington, TX. Agree with Melissa on setting up a fund to help you along your way to North Africa!

 
At 7:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am blessed by your obedience to the call, and this is all further evidence that God is using BJ's story for His glory. Praise God! I will certainly keep you and your family in my prayers

Hazel Cue
Los Angeles, CA

 

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