Tuesday, May 09, 2006

For the first time in my life I'm speaking at a ladies' gathering. It is friends and church family, thank goodness, but I am still intimidated. I was surprised yet honored at being asked. I knew why I was being asked, so it has a bittersweet taste, as is the course of our lives without our son.

Lauren leaves for a 2-week mission trip in Swaziland, S. Africa this week and Whitney leaves Saturday for a month long internship with a missions organization in Dallas. We will all be separated for the first time in our lives for Mother's Day.

These "first time in our lives" things are God's hand at work and we find comfort and affirmation in the fact. His ways are not our ways and we cannot always understand it. I don't know that I WANT to understand God because He is who He is, our arguments of human logic are a moot point. I NEED Him to be bigger, and He most certainly is MORE than we can fathom. He is in charge, thank heavens we are not.

My prayer today is that we always be surrendered to what He wills, not what we plan and desire for ourselves. He truly knows us better than we know ourselves, and He knows what is best for us no matter what condition we are in and in spite of our condition. When we are running scared and lost, blind and crippled, hurt and deaf, He is our "refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble" Psalm 46. Whatever our ailment, He knows when to discipline us and when to allow healing. He knows when to stretch us and when to let us rest. He loves us enough to give grace and mercy and hope and sometimes prodding when there is the need - with me that is often.

In our study Sunday night at church, one of the things that stood out to me was being reminded that God's Word is LIVING, ACTIVE and SHARP. It's REAL, it speaks LIFE to us IF we have ears to hear! Father clean out our ears and thoughts of the world and help us listen to You, the I AM, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End. The statement I love and claim today is from the "sharper than a two-edge sword" scripture indicating that God's Word convicts and it comforts, it judges our thoughts and attitudes. Nothing is hidden from God's sight, good or bad. (Hebrews 4:12 & 13)

I have a poster in my office of a kitten and the quote "God hears the smallest voice." Thank you Father for hearing our cries and giving us direction and purpose, no matter how noble or humble. Thank you for not letting the most "insignificant kindnesses" go unnoticed as well. I know small acts of kindness mean the most to me, especially while we were in the hospital, but it is still true today. I pray that I can make a difference to someone today with a smile, a word of encouragment, a favor...

Mom

9 Comments:

At 8:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Blessings on you today Deanna. I will be praying much for you as you speak this weekend. I too am speaking at a couple of ladies events this weekend. Let us pray that God will speak clearly through us.
Your sister in Christ!

 
At 9:04 AM, Anonymous Susie said...

You have already accomplished your mission today, for I am encouraged by your writing. Thank you for reminding me that little acts of kindness are as important as the "big things". I know you will do well this weekend as you speak to others.
I will pray for your during this "first"

 
At 1:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you Deanna...It was exaclty what I needed to get through today!

Love,
Lori

 
At 2:56 PM, Anonymous kristin dutt said...

Mom-

It was great to read your post today. i thoroughly enjoy it when you post! i have good news..its actually kind of tentative..but still good none the less.. Mary Leestma and i might be coming to Tulsa this summer..maybe early August! i'm excited..i hope it all works out as planned!

love you..thanks again for sharing today!

~kristin

 
At 4:51 PM, Blogger Ashley Reagan said...

Mom! This Mother's day, may you feel God's presence around you to fill the empty places and may His love overflow in your life. May He bless and be blessed through this weekend. I love you! :o)

 
At 4:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Mother's Day, Deanna! You are a special 'mom' to many of us. Thank you for your post today.

 
At 5:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Deanna,
Even though your family won't be with you on Mother's Day, I have a feeling that you will be close to them in their hearts and thoughts- your girls and BJ too. You seem like you've been an incredible blessing to them over the years! You remind me of the blessing my mom has been to me- as a wonderful woman of God who first introduced her children to His love. I'll regret not being with her on Mother's Day this year-school is keeping me away-and it hurts to not be able to honor her in person. Just remember how much they love you, because other than salvation, God gives us few better gifts than a wonderful Mom! Praying for you!
Lisa
Wilmore, KY

 
At 8:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your words are a blessing and inspiration to us all. May you feel His loving embrace this weekend as you share once again with others.

 
At 10:22 PM, Anonymous Marlena said...

Hello Deanna, Brent, Lauren & Whitney, I hope you have a lovely Mothers Day Deanna. I will be praying for you all and your absence from each other. I know it is very hard being separated from each other, but soon you will be reunited and starting on the next leg of your journey. I know God has great plans for you. May He be with you as you share with others this weekend. Miss and love you all.

 

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