The day before the nine month anniversary of BJ's death, we were hiking through a village in the foothills of a mountain with a group of Amazigh people from the association we were working with. I was frustrated at myself because I felt so disconnected from the group of people. I interacted a bit with some of the good friends my sister had already made, but I was thinking and quiet and alone for most of the hike. I felt trapped inside myself, unsure how to love these people and afraid to try.

When we reached the end of our road, the entire mass of people stopped to sit down and talk with each other while our drivers hiked back to get the vans. There was a large group of children all sitting together, singing songs. Off to the side, one of my teammates sat with a group of boys, talking to them. As I looked between the boys and the group of children smiling and swaying and singing songs, I noticed one grown man in their midst... and my heart just hurt. I knew that was exactly where BJ would have been, ministering to children by enjoying them and joining them in their games and songs.

The reality that he is dead hit me with unusual clarity. I rejected it, as usually happens at those terrible, raw, real moments. Tears streamed down my face as I practically ran to my dad to cry while he hugged me. After several minutes, we looked on, watching the group as they continued in their fun.

Suddenly, a little girl several yards away broke away from her friends and ran right over to me. She put her little arms around me and gave me as big a hug as she could muster.

Then she reached up to my face and wiped my tears away with her small hand.

How much I have to learn about how to love other people! And so much I did learn in one precious moment when a little girl from another culture saw my pain and loved me the only way she knew how. And it was enough.

Sometimes we are so afraid that how we love each other won't be enough that we simply cease to try. How wrong we are!! The love we have in us, given to us and made perfect by Jesus, is really all we have to offer each other.

Live that love.

Lauren