Saturday, December 24, 2005

My Precious Beej,

Merry Christmas!

How I miss you.

This season, as we celebrate the birth of our King, you have opportunity to behold Him in glorious light. How incredible your view must be. How I long to see what you see.

Your absence is not easy for me. How I long to share and lift up praises side by side with you. The platform at church seems ever empty to me without you occupying that spot just in front of the baptistry. Your bass still stands (at home) where it always has, as if it is waiting for you.

The house is so quiet. Not that you made a lot of noise, but your presence was always known. Our memories with you are so precious and sweet.

I miss your stoking the fire, endlessly, as we both gazed into it. It seemed to transport us both to different places, yet we were together. Now, I hold you in my heart, seeing you as I stare alone.

There is so much I want you to know. So much I want to say to you. Christ in you has made a difference in so many lives. You would be embarassed, as songs have been written about you, mission funds named after you, people are quoting your writings, and your silly little sayings keep popping up. You have inspired so many people to pursue their relationships with Christ at new depths. Christ through you, has unified the least for a time. Thousands prayed for you, mourned your loss, cried for a man of God they never knew.

Joshua holds your sword. He has committed to taking your place on the field. So have scores of others, some you know, many you do not. How such a small "little man" could leave such a vast wake, is something only the One you now behold can explain.

I miss your perpetual voice. I confess there were times I wanted you to be quiet. I never meant for this long. It has been nearly three months since you left, and well over four since I heard you speak. Somehow though, your voice reverberates across the nations. Beej, man of God, you left a legacy. One that inspires, motivates, encourages, and at times, even haunts.

Because of your love for Jesus, your understanding beyond your years, the way you lived your life, and the journals you left us, many are coming to Him. You have done well, son. I am proud of who you were. I am proud of who you are. I am forever changed because of you.

We will celebrate the birth of our King without you this year, knowing you are celebrating with Him. The sword shall always be the symbol of your life. It will occupy our photographs of this Christmas, while your memory will live on in our hearts, and in the lives of many who know Jesus, because of your faithfulness.

I look forward to seeing you again.

I miss you, and I love you.



At 9:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know your hearts ache. I pray that you find comfort this Christmas.

At 9:55 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

How true your words are this morning, Beej has changed so many lives and there are so many more lives waiting to be touched and changed by the words and testimony of BJ Higgins Jnr. Thank you Beej for your wonderful example, your love, and your dedication and devotion of our Lord Jesus.

Oh how so many of us long to have the view that you now experience.

Father God we continue to lift Beej's family to You and ask that You would continue to surround them all with Your unfailing love and comfort, give them continued strength, and peace in times of sorrow. Lord grant them joy as they celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, and may they have renewed strength and mount up as eagles, let them run and not grow weary, may they walk and not grow faint. In the precious name of Jesus I pray. Amen and Amen.

Merry Christmas precious family.

In His Love
Linda Ronne

At 10:20 AM, Blogger Melissa said...

Keeping you all in my prayers during this difficult Christmas.

At 10:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brent, What a beautiful tribute to your BJ! I actually can't see to type right now, through the tears. My heart aches for y'all, as do many others' hearts. We haven't walked where you are walking now, but please know that you have many people who love you and are lifting you up every single day.

Three thoughts come to mind:

The men who held up Moses's arms when he was too tired to hold them up anymore--your brothers and sisters in Christ are there to help you

The song, "I Know I Can Make It"--you would never have chosen this path in life, but of course you know that through God you CAN make it

The song, "Held"--He holds you in his hands, in His lap, upon His chest, loving you tenderly and constantly

May His blessings flow unendingly to you and your family.

Love, Jolene

At 10:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying earnestly that God will ease the deep pain that you are feeling today. Know that He hears your cries echoed in the beautiful tribute. Know that He WILL comfort and hold you up, not only today and tomorrow, but for the remainder of your life. AND know that He HAS reserved a place for you in Heaven, to share eternity with your son. Someday, you will have Christmas forever with him!!
Love you, Praying for you!!

At 10:58 AM, Blogger Cousin Beth said...

How beautiful, through my tears!!!! My heart aches so much for you, and I am praying. May Jesus hold you close and be all you need! You have reminded us so much to keep our priorities in place this Christmas. Thank you, BJ, for the lessons you have taught all of us! May we never forget!
I have a prayer request. A little boy in Matthew's 3rd grade class is one of 6 children. Last week the family was evicted from their home because of inability to make house payments for several months. The father is dying of cancer and has only been given a few months to live. The family didn't let anyone know how bad things were until it was too late to save the house. They are very private. Praise God that many people have come forward and helped: churches, the school, etc. They have a rental house, and someone is paying their rent for six months. Through Fox 8 TV, they won a $1000 shopping spree to a local mall. I had the privilege of delivering a grocery store gift card from Matthew's class and Christmas gifts for the child in that class. Many other people have donated gifts for all the kids. Yesterday someone brought a Christmas tree with lights; and Angela, Becky, and I had the joy of decorating it! I had extra decorations at the church that we donated. We also took homemade goodies and a wreath for their door. What fun! Please pray for this family at this difficult time. They are just thankful to all be under one roof for Christmas. Pray that they will know Jesus as never before.
Hope you received the box. We'll be sending other things soon.
To all of you and to all the readers and bloggers, thank you for the blessing you have been! May God give all of you a blessed Christmas as you remember that Christmas is "Christ."
Loving and praying,

At 11:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

With tears welling up in my eyes, I wish you all a Merry Christmas. Know that you are being prayed for and loved. Peace be yours this day.


At 12:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgens famliy,
As I have followed your story, my life has been changed and my heart has been touched.
Merry Christmas!

At 12:40 PM, Blogger natenamy said...

We love you. We miss BJ. We are here for you. We continue to pray for you.
Nate and Amy

At 12:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Higgins Family - God be with you this Christmas like never before. May He continue to wrap your family in the love He has for you and in the love that your blog family have for each of you!! Thank you so much for making it known to appreciate our children this Christmas, especially. BJ has changed my entire life. He has changed my family's life. He has ministered to so many. May that fill a small portion of the void that must be wellowing this Christmas for your family.

We really love you. Wishing I could wrap my arms around each of you and just "help you cry" through the rough times. We're praying for you diligently and daily. Try to feel the "hugs" from all of us, to you.

Merry Christmas, Higgins Family. I really MEAN it!!

At 1:56 PM, Blogger Lynn Andrews said...

A beautiful tribute to a beautiful child of God who has touched so many lives. Please know that as I celebrate the birth of our Savior with my family - your family is never far from my thoughts or my heart.

I pray that you will be surrounded by the love of family and friends and that you will feel the loving arms of our Lord holding you.

Merry Christmas, sweet family . . . and Merry Christmas to all in our blog family. You are all very special blessings to me.

Love to all!
Macon, GA

At 1:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so very thankful that I have been able to know your family and BJ. All of you have blessed me so much on this journey from sorrow to glory. I share BJ with those who will listen and about an amazing boy/man who had experienced the secret place of God. BJ will live on, his words scream from the heavens for those who have an ear.

Merry Christmas
Brent Deanna
Lauren & Whitney

Pat Davila & family

At 2:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I read this earlier and I wanted to post, but, at a loss for words, I decided to wait.

I cannot begin to imagine how much you miss BJ. Everyday something happens that reminds me of him, and I only knew him for a year. The other day Laura Randall and I were talking about memories that we had of him...things that, at the time, seemed so insignificant. Things that we never would have thought of as something to remember.

As I read your post I'm sure you have so many of those memories and as much as I miss him, you all must miss him so much more than that.

Although I rejoice in the fact that BJ is in Heaven, just where he wants to be, I also grieve because he is not here anymore.

I am praying for you, Higgins family, especially tomorrow as you celebrate Christmas.

At 2:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

as i sit here crying, i pray that u have a good christmas, and god gives u comfort, as many know u need it. i'll be praying for u alot over these next few days.
lizzy-KC MO

At 3:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Brent, Deanna, Lauren and Whitney (and all of the family gathered with you),

I just finished reading your letter to BJ to Mom. The font on the computer screen was too light for her to read. I must confess I was choked up with tears rolling down my cheeks the whole time I read it.

On this Christmas Eve my thoughts are with you as you all gather together to celebrate the Gift of our Heavenly Father who gave His only Son. I know that Christmas is bittersweet this year with BJ's place conspicuously vacant, and yet as you wrote so beautifully he has taken up his place in the eternal celebration of our Lord and King. At this time when we sing the words, "peace on earth," may you be surrounded with the peace that comes only from the Prince of Peace. As we celebrate the coming of the Messiah, I am reminded of the chorus in Handel's Messiah that quotes Isaiah: "Comfort ye, comfort ye, my people." Truly He is the God of all comfort, and I pray that you will experience it in abundance.

My love, thoughts, and prayers are with you all.

With prayers for Christmas blessings of peace and comfort,


At 3:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My heart aches for you and your family during this holiday season. May the peace of God and His presence be with each one of you. Know that you are in our prayers.
Steve and Barbara
Youngstown, OH

At 4:26 PM, Blogger Aunt Maralyn & Uncle Ray said...

What a beautiful letter to BJ. Through yesterdays blog and todays, my eyes are rather blurry. Ray and I had the priviledge of having Landee, Cladee and Tadee most of the day yesterday, all night and most of today. Chris and Marla are both sick and still trying to finish up on Christmas gifts.
Give our love to all of the family gathered at Jameson. We would love to be there with you. We wish an extra special blessing on all of you.
Merry Christmas, as we celebrate the birth of Jesus.
Aunt Maralyn

At 4:29 PM, Blogger Christina said...

Dear Higgins Family,

Thank you, Brent, for sharing your heart with us. My heart aches for you as you will spend your first Christmas without your BJ.

You all have been an inspiration to me and I thank you for that. May the Lord be with you this Holy Season.

In His love,

Christina in Latvia

At 6:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for the vast ocean of loss you are experiencing. Our family continues to keep your family consistently in our prayers as you cross this valley in the shadow of this profound loss.

Betsy Fladung

At 6:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It seems that life so taken for granted until someone is lost. I hope that you find some joy this Christmas as the rest of us are reminded how precious life is.

At 7:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying for you, as the feeling of loss from this past year is sometimes too hard to bear. Thank you for sharing your letter to Beej with all of us...

At 8:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Beej...I love you and I miss you so much right now. I can't bear to change your phone number in my cell phone from being labeled BJ to The Higgins...I just can't do it. Oh how I wish that I could call you and talk to you just one last time! I'm getting ready to take your place once again...I leave for Mexico tomorrow. I'm praying that many come to grasp the priceless truth that you grasped! Enjoy celebrating Christmas with the King this year. I will be with you one day.

Higgins, I love you and miss you. I'm praying for you as this must be a very hard time of the year for you. I can't wait to see y'all in January. I so wish to talk to you. Merry Christmas!


At 9:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I pray you will find a peace like you have never known before as you celebrate the true meaning of Christmas. Although your hearts are aching, BJ is celebrating in a big way at a birthday party in heaven! Oh what a day that will be when we can celebrate with him.
Cling to the promise that you will be with him again someday when you come face to face with your Father & son!
I continue to lift you up to our Heavenly Father. May He continue to give you strength that only comes from above!
Thank you for sharing life with us!

At 11:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Daily, I log into this site...seemingly to find the intimacy with Christ that BJ had in this life, and to grasp the life that BJ has now at Christ's cool that must be. Higgins family, know that BJ's journey made an impact in my life.
God Bless,
Greenfield, Indiana

At 11:28 PM, Blogger Praying in Pink said...

Today, as many days, some of my first, and some of my last, thoughts will be focused on Christ--and also on His work through Brent Higgins, Jr. I thank God for the difference He has made in so many hearts this year because of BJ's young life, the life that he so willingly laid down. I thank Him also for the difference He has made in me, not only through BJ and his legacy but through the love and words and sharing of his family, my dear friends, the Higgins, and through this blog family as well. Brent, Deanna, Lauren, and Whitney--as well as the extended family who have also become dear to us--may He keep you and hold you very closely throughout these days. I love you deeply and am blessed to continue to pray for you,

always in pink,

Marti along with all of the Pieper 7 (one of whom leaves for Mexico very early on the 26th--praying for all of the Awe Star team!)
Charleston, SC

At 12:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm at a loss for words, yet I feel like I have to comment. Thank you. Thank you for sharing your heart. Thank you for your openness. Oh how I wish I was with Beej right now, singing and dancing for the King! Y'all are constantly on my heart and in my prayers. I love you!
Houston, TX

At 12:58 AM, Blogger Nic and Jen said...

Dear Higgins Family,
What a beautiful post. I am moved beyond anything I can explain. My heart ached for you as I read it. Please know you are in my prayers. I pray you find comfort this Christmas. May the Lord hold you. You are right... so many lives have been changed because of BJ. Oh, how many have come to Christ because of BJ. The Lord truly is glorious. How I wish I had the words to say to bring you comfort. I can only imagine the heartache you are feeling, and I wish there were words I could say to help. Your son left behind a legacy and God truly used him to further His kingdom. Oh how wonderful!! I can honestly say you have changed my life. I have been a Christian for about 8 years, but neverbefore have I "met" anyone like your son. He showed me what it is to be a true follower of Christ. I have this saying and I typed it out a year or so ago... it says "be a follower of Jesus, rather than a Christian spectator" and I put it around my house as a reminder to me as I go from room to room. I can honestly say (even though I did not personally know BJ) that he was a FOLLOWER of Jesus. He lived his life FOR JESUS. He lived to bring people to Jesus. You must be so proud. I pray the Lord brings you joy and laughter and comfort. Father God... I lift up the Higgins family to you. Shine Your light into their lives. BJ gets to see you daily, face to face Lord. Oh how wonderful that is. May you give abounding peace to this family until they too, see You face to face.
Jennifer WA

At 11:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgins Family,

May you have a merry and blessed Christmas despite missing BJ;and may the knowledge that Beej is celebrating Jesus' birthday right next to Him continue to bring you comfort now and in the future.

Continuing to pray for you!

In His Love!

At 4:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you. How you have ministered to me today. I continue to pray for you and wish your entire family a Merry Christmas.

At 6:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brent and Deanna, I couldn't help over the last 2 days to stop and pause to think about you and your family. My heart breaks for you.i know the hurt you must be feeling. but i also know the joy. It is something that many people around the world don't understand, but we can be filled with joy, because we all know where Beej is this Christmas and what an amazing gift he gave to so many. I read your post for Christmas eve, and i cried. Thank you for ur continued posts. they inspire so many. we love you guys. Please know that I and many others throughout the world are praying for you every day, but especially today. I know it has been hard. Please lean on us. God bless you all!

At 7:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I learned of BJ through a client who is a friend of yours.

Your family is an example of what Christ wanted for us all.

I am humbled, unworthy to offer more than the prayer that the holy spirit will cloak you in peace this day, and all the days to come.

At 8:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I still check in each day I am at work. I think of you often and am thankful that you have God in your life to get you through. God ia a good and gracious and he is always there for us. Take Care Betty UR-PICU

At 9:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dearest Higgins...

We continue to pray for you. May the Lord give you a special peace this day. Oh, the time dear BJ is having this day. Day after day with his Lord.

We love you,
The McMahans

At 9:20 PM, Blogger . said...

Praying that your family will feel the arms of the Good Shepherd's around you in a special way as He carries you through this wonderful, difficult time of year.

Still praying....

At 9:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

As tears fall from my eyes, I want to wish the Higgins Family and this blog family a Merry CHRISTmas! Thank you for sharing and allowing us the opportunity to continue to know BJ and how your words minister to us. God Bless.

Christy K.

At 11:33 PM, Blogger Barbara Ann said...

Merry Christmas family!
I know that this time of year is especially harder. I pray for huge peace to come and sweep you away into the arms of our Jesus. What a blessing it must be to see and feel the arms of Jesus, as Beej is right now. It has to be incredible!
I cant wait for that. To one day see my Jesus and touch the place in his hands where the nails were and see him face to face. As I write this my heart leaps with uncontrolable want for that.

As I write there is a group of people driving to Mexico for the Awestar christmas break missions trip. Then tomorrow the rest of the team will be arriving.
Please pray for the team. Pray for the divine encounters that God has in store for them. Pray that they would see God in everything they do, in the all the drama that gets performed, and that God would just unify them as a team, and grow them individually.
In so many ways, I wish that I was called to that team. But even though I am not on it physically, I am prayerfully, as God has called me to pray.

I'm still praying for you family, for your grief to be replaced with sweetness. Such sweetness that only the Father can give.


Barbara Ann

At 11:47 PM, Blogger Sheila said...

Merry Chritmas Higgins Family. Yes, B.J. is having Christmas this year with the reason for the season. There are things that our love ones know about that special day that we don't. They are talking, laughing, celebrating in a way we can't understand. Someday we all will stand before the Throne of God, we too will celebrate...someday, in God's perfect timing!
God Bless You Today and Always, Rest in His Peace,
Troy, IL.

At 1:25 AM, Blogger Lattany said...

Somehow though, [his] voice reverberates across the nations.

At 5:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brent , Deanna, Lauren, & Whitney,
for now we see in a mirror dimmly but one day we will see clearly.
my heart aches for you, and some day my human nature takes over and I wonder if God's grace is enough.

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