Thursday, October 26, 2006

We have entered into negotiations to purchase a home. We have sifted through so many. We have seen some we liked, but did not feel at home in, and some we did not like at all. We have seen some we were fond of, but knew they were going to take significant work to get them where they were "livable" for us. We have found one we hope will be ours.

We don't mind painting, but when it comes to structural repairs, I'm afraid Deanna isn't married to Mr. Fix It. I have the desire to be able to tackle such things, but not the know-how. I am impressed with people who can take on such tasks, and create a beautiful result.

When I was in college, my summer job and ultimately my profession (for a time) was landscaping. I could take a barren strip of dirt, and create something from it. I could walk up to a new home, and create a design that would warm the house and make it look like a inviting home.

That creative flair has served us well, at times. However, it does not translate to tackling things that require hammers, nails, screws and hydraulic impaling tools. Then I pretty much become the assistant who stands by, holds the equipment, and is warned not to touch certain things.

I can be a great cheer-leader from that position. I can encourage the craftsmen in his task, and tell him how incredible the outcome will be. I am not bad at giving him "pats" on the back. I just can't do the work.

The fact that the Lord has gifted each of us differently becomes more clear every day. I am surrounded by people who know what they are doing. They don't just know what they are doing, but they are good at it. I often stand by with trying to remember to close my agape mouth, for fear of tipping my hat to the fact that I too often am clueless about the processes I am trying to assist with.

Fortunately, part of the giftedness of those He has surrounded me with, includes the extension of grace. I keep thinking my withdrawals must have about depleted the supply. It just keeps being given to me. I know I don't deserve it. I even get down on myself about it.

It is just so amazing to me that the Lord understands how I am wired. So much so, that He foresaw who I would need in my corner in this foreign land. He has provided for each need at just the right moment.

I am most amazed at Deanna. She has suffered the loss of her only son, and dealt with it in a way that only mother's who have lost sons can understand. I stand by trying to hold the tools that she needs, but feel like I inadvertently pull the trigger on the wrong piece of equipment.

If this were not difficult enough, she is provided a position through Divine means. She realizes this, and gives it her all. The problem is that her all is not enough, or so it would seem to her. Every fiber of her being wants to quit this position and do something trivial where she can at least feel like she is appreciated.

Instead, she forges ahead with students who don't seem to care and show little respect, because she knows it has been a provision of the Lord.

She continues to struggle through this because she knows that He has promised to "be with her" in this time of suffering. Though she struggles, she amazes me, and I love her.

She has taught me to keep moving forward, even when I cannot see where we are headed!



At 3:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You guys are very strong. You are both in my prayers.

At 3:51 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

What a beautiful picture you painted today Brent, of your love for Deanna.

So often our "men" feel they need to "fix" things for us, and we do so appreciate every effort they make. Many times it is only an ear or a shoulder that is required and not the "tools of the trade".

As women who are blessed to have these men, we thank you all for doing what you do with such a loving spirit.

In His Love

At 1:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

we are praying that you will both be ok! we love you!


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