Tuesday, January 09, 2007

The Holidays drew near and her heart was heavy. She was looking forward to spending time with family, but her world had been turned upside down again.

15 months ago she lost her only brother. Her younger brother. One whom she loved deeply, and missed desperately. There was much difficulty in facing the mirror each morning. She was hard on herself for not spending the time with him she felt she should have.

There were distractions. There were friends. There was time...always more time.

Her journey through his illness helped equip her for what lay ahead. Her plan was to be a nurse. Her brother endured some of the most intense medical treatments available and she was right there watching, praying.

The hospital staff knew of her calling. They opened up many procedures to her. They allowed her to watch from a corner, as her sibling was the object of their intention.

This would either drive her away from nursing, or seal her desire. Which would it be?

A few months after his passing, she entered into a relationship with a godly young man. Her feelings deepened.

Over the next several months they would find their road a difficult one. So many obligations. So many distractions. Too many people offering their opinions. When would things calm down? Had she not been through enough? Couldn't she have a reprieve from this frustrating journey?

Christmas was approaching, she was excited to see those in her family she had not seen for too long. Her parents had relocated to the west after their son died. Not running away, rather seeking after the call on their own lives.

It would be good to see them again.

Then another blow. The relationship that she had invested so much into, was over.

How could this be fair? When was she going to be dealt a hand that would allow her to know how to play?

Christmas was upon her, the love she held had to be set aside. The depth of her pain descended into her soul. Had she not just recently plumbed these depths? Why did it have to be necessary to visit here once again?

Family arrived. The warmth of their familiar embrace attempted to ward off the hurt.

Would healing come? Would the scab be penetrated that was hardening over her heart?

She had resolved to study nursing. She spent the last two semesters trying to prepare for it. Her opportunity to apply for the program was on her mind. Oddly, it intermingled with the aroma of Holly, and fresh baked sugar cookies. What was to come?

During her distraction, her phone rang. It was him. The boy.

His heart suffered as hers had. He could not tolerate the loss.

Sweet relief had come. The scab she was "nursing" fell quickly behind. The newness of her heart in those moments danced dreamlike rhythms.

Conflicting holiday schedules had kept them apart for three weeks. She was anxious to get back. She was torn. She knew she had little time left with her loved ones, and may not see them again for some time. Fondness for renewal, surged with each heartbeat.

The day to fly home finally came. Saying goodbye to family was not dear to her. However, getting to see him again was her closest companion.

Airport delays and other delays brought frustration to a new height. Her anticipation was so thick it could not be patient. Why must everything always work against her? When would she catch a break?

Her uncle picked her up at the airport. Her pulse quickened.

He had to stop by his house...he had forgotten something.

INFURIATING!!! How could she constantly be kept waiting? What else would happen? Feeling nothing but venom for having to wait one more moment, she was soon to be surprised, when surprise had no chance of finding her.

Her uncle walked around his car and handed her the keys.

"Here, you will be driving this home...it now belongs to you!"

What? What did he say to her? Her mind had been selfishly basking in a cloud of negativity. She harbored ugly thoughts, and he said what?

This car was hers?

How is it possible? The very moment when angst and anger had nearly overtaken her, she was blessed.

A gift she did not expect. A gift she did not deserve. How could she say "Thank You" after the furious display in her heart?

Her uncle had given her a car. Hers was had become an oilaholic. She had nursed it along for months. One issue after another had overtaken her only transportation.

Now, at a point of nearly compromising her faith over frustration, she had been given a most unexpected gift.

She called her parents out west, and screamed unintelligible words into the phone!

Blessings, like Salvation, come at most unexpected times.

Praise God for his provision!



At 10:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

HI Brent.

Wow, you really need to become a writer!! I so love reading the words that displays the angst and internal struggle we all experience at different times when situation after situation seems out of our hands. The turmoil that ensues internally and psychologically can seem overwhelming and make us feel so alone. It is good (in a warped sort of way I'll admit) to see that others whose faith I consider to be solid struggle with the same issues. Not that I wish any ills on anyone, but it sure makes me at least feel better that I'm not the only one to give into our human tendencies of what's fair, how much more can I take, etc.

Praying for all of you. How come "I would die for you," is not played on the radio? Is it because it was not released as a single? I want to call and request it but not sure they could even play it otherwise I'm sure our local Christian station would have by now. Any ideas?

Also, a side note. I was just reinstalled as a deacon for our Presbyterian church on Sunday. My focus is going to be on visitation: the homebound, nursing homes and hospital visits. Please pray that my time with those I visit will be one of sharing God's love in the way they need to receive it, no matter what that might be.

Thanks, Tina

At 10:33 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praise God for the gift of wheels!! But what about the boy??!!LOL

At 4:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, Brent, with every passing day, you keep showing me how you need to write a book, or two, or hundreds!!! You are amazing! And when I read it out loud to my husband, it sounds even better, which I didn't think possible!

Praise God for all that He is doing, and for all the teachings. We all get angry, frustrated, and forget to give it all to God, but in His infinite love and wisdom, He blesses us still, and even though!! God is so Great!!!


Linda Anderson

At 4:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Our God works in mysterious and yes, funny ways.
That was another good write today.

I sure look forward to you and your family's writings each day.

At 12:49 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

What a beautiful and touching story/life happening you told today Brent. Why is it that we are always amazed when we are blessed by others, or even better blessed by our Father?

What a wonderful uncle she has. Blessings to you Brad!!

As Tommy Tenney puts it "When an enemy arises.... promotion is on the horizon".
I'm sure we can all identify with your words today in some way, I know I can. We need to learn to lean on the One who holds us in the palm of His hand.

In His Love

At 2:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a blessing!!! God is so amazing like that... giving when we never expect. What a perfect example for us!
Thank you so much for sharing that story!!
You have no idea how much it's blessed me to get to see you guys for the super short time i did!!
i love you guys with all my heart and still pray for y'all daily!!
love love LOVE!!!


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