Tuesday, February 05, 2008

For many months we have had an overwhelming sense of purpose. I suppose we knew this day would come, but its arrival is no less unwelcome.

The last months have stretched into over two years, as we awaited the release of this book. It could not come quickly enough to suit us. We were so very anxious for such a long time. Our lives seemed to be a collective gasp as we drew breath in and held it, awaiting the inevitable, not really knowing what that would be.

A month after the book is released one cannot tell very much. This is very much like living our lives for Christ. We walk along in obedience wanting to serve Him well, but not really knowing what impact we may have as He shields us from the positive impact, lest our heads become full. We understand why He works this way, but it doesn't keep us from coveting the knowledge of what He is up to through us.

Somehow, we believe that if we could see the impact He was having through our lives, it would all be worth it. The truth is, at least for me, it becomes more of an intoxication accompanied by addiction.

I need to be satisfied that if I follow Him in the obedience I am called to, that I do not need to see what He is doing with that. Loving Him and being loved by Him should be enough.
Being human, the hunger for more abides.

Yet over time, more is required to reach such aretes and the joy in Him is too often lost.

I knew the day would come that when the book was out, and I had followed Him to where He led my family to minister, that the exhale would begin. I find myself a bit lost in its current and unsure what to grab onto as it's expelled.

There has been such a tremendous sense of purpose for the last months and that has been welcome. Now that many of those things have come to pass, it is a bit more difficult to abide. It should not be this way... the apparent way of the flesh pressing through His purposes, demanding attention. This is not what I desire, but still it seeks to force its way in.

My focus needs to remain on Him and not ego-centric needs. It's just that being human and therefore a seeker of gratification, it often comes more swiftly in tangible results.

With improper motivation, tangible results yield short term joy and that is not what I desire.
I just want to want Jesus, not the fluff of worldly promises wrapped in insatiable, carnivorous appetite.

Father, please help me to keep my eyes on you today and to seek Your will, not mine.



At 12:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

A worthy prayer for all of us...
God Bless,
Greenfield, Indiana

At 3:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Lord intends for us to enjoy life on this earth. I'm convinced that is part of the message of the water into wine, busy Martha story and busy bridesmaid stories. We need to have and fulfill His purpose for our lives but not to grind off our nose in the process. To miss the beauty, diversity, the colors, the complex simplicity of His creation, is to miss a part of Him not communicated in language! IMHO!! So rest, take a breath, look around, enjoy the moment of quietness, the weakness after the adrenalin rush. And see what He has for you here. It's wonderful and necessary to put feet on the Gospel but there is also time for rest, relaxation, reflection and renewal as well. We are just tools He uses and when I use my garden tools without taking time to sharpen and take care of them, they become dull and don't work as effectively. I'll probably be a lonely voice but I say, this is an important part of the journey, not to be missed!
Mark \O/

At 4:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mark, well put!
God Bless,
Greenfield, Indiana

At 9:09 PM, Blogger Marti Pieper said...

He is the only One who gives us the desire to "want to want Him."

So I think you are starting--and ending--in exactly the right place.

And the blog family will continue to pray for you, as we pray for one another, that our hearts will be fully and only devoted to Him.

praying in pink
with tender love,



Post a Comment

<< Home