My family is a "hugging" family. I have always been given hugs, and I enjoy giving them. I am thankful for a wife and children who are receptive to this. Each is different in their need and approach to giving and receiving them.

Deanna and I frequently embrace. Sometimes it includes more, sometimes not. Our children grew up watching this, and sometimes getting embarassed by it. Beej especially would do so... for some reason, so did our dog. They both reacted similarly. Although, I believe Dakota (the dog) was jealous, both he and BJ were vocal when they saw it.

At times, Beej would come and try to get between us. On other occassions, he would fold his hands up under his chin, flash a "not in front of me" embarassed grin, and groan. We enjoyed doing this just to evoke his reaction.

Lauren grew up desiring to have hugs once in a while. When she needs one, she wants a secure, "make me feel better," long, tight embrace. She usually accompanies it with an "I love you."

Whitney has always sought them frequently. There is safety, and shared compassion in her need. For that moment, the world is shielded from her heart, and cannot penetrate her weakness. I often lift her off of the floor.

BJ's hugs were always stronger and longer than most guys are comfortable with. He, like his sisters, was very loving. The breadth of his heart was enormous for such small stature. He would often snug up close to me during the most mundane of activities.

Unfortunately, one of the struggles I now have, is the memory of how many times I "pushed him away," during one of those moments. He learned to be "physical" by example, and yet I sent him a mixed message. I always had a reason. "It's too hot, and we're sticking together," or "I am trying to do something, and you're impeding my progress."

As much as I loved him, too many times I did not embrace his embrace.

I regretted it in the moment, and I regret it now. I ache to be able to hold him again, and tell him how much I love him. I wish I could understand my reaction. I wish I could justify my reaction. I wish I could go back and do it all over again.

I know he knew I loved him. I know he felt many embraces from me. I just long for one more. One more time to say "I love you" without using words.

I often find myself asking my Heavenly Father to close him in His grasp for me. Oh how I hope He does so.

I am thankful for the grace I have in Christ for past, present, and future failures.
I am so appreciative of His embrace each and every moment of my need.

If you have never made a decision, while under His conviction, to make Him Lord of your life, I do not know how you would ever endure pain, suffering or loss. Our God of compassion draws us near in our hurt. Don't reject His embrace if you sense it. Receive it, and be changed.

dad

Christal M. we want very much to see the finished product!
Laura O. what a blessing your writing is. We love it over the picture! We would like to have that picture by itself as well, if you can e-mail it! bahiggins1259@msn.com