A visitor arrived this morning. One I am not pleased to see. One who threatens to stay without welcome. One who seems to want to haunt my shadow, to shadow my every step. I suppose I should welcome him with open arms, but he is not. He is not my friend. He is merely an acquaintance who arrives unannounced, and does not leave upon request.

I suppose if he waited for an invitation, his life would be most lonely. When he intrudes, mine becomes so. Oh I have family and loved ones close by, but his invasive attitude and abrasive personality casts them behind as his demand for attention prevails. I wish he would go away... fade into the dark perimeter of my horizon past.

I have met many who have the gift of hospitality. Perhaps if they would stay with me awhile, they could make his presence minutely tolerable. If they were here, my guest would likely leave. His predominant desire is to prey upon the quiet moments, and make them intolerably stricken with his mute but ambient black noise.

"There is light at the end of the tunnel"... when accompanied by his presence, this tunnel makes the most awkward undulations, and causes the light of relief to be lost in the twisting dark brambles of thick solitude. There are many who would offer their hand to draw me away from him, but with him I must dwell, for a moment, or an eternity, the two are blended inseparably and my focus cannot negotiate the difference.

How I long to be in the presence of "the one who... had the appearance of jasper and carnelian." To be surrounded by "the twenty-four" who are "dressed in white," to be joined with those who "called out in a loud voice, How long sovereign Lord?" and then were "given a white robe."

This guest is not welcome, yet he's concerned not with my approval, but in collecting my pain and brokenness, and using them to exploit my joy. He may not have it, it is not his to take, but mine to give. It became mine upon the day I laid down my right to myself.

I remember Him, He took my pain and brokenness upon his back, and left in it's void, joy. I remember that He is here, welcome. I am not alone with this unyielding intruder. I am reposed and found within His grasp.

Wave after wave may buffet, but my peace springs true from the Water that quenches eternal!

dad


Marlene and Bill, you can contact me at bahiggins1259@msn.com