Friday, March 31, 2006

We have had the privilege of having many guests into our home since BJ passed. His friends, our friends, and both combined. The fellowship we have enjoyed has been very precious to us. Most of our time is spent in either the kitchen or the great room. However, we occasionally head to the back of the house, and relax in the den. The den is situated in front of BJ's room. Often our guests are drawn into that place.

When he was with us, that room was a haven for him. A place he could escape his frustrations, play his favorite music loud without bothering us, play his video games, draw, study God's Word, worship, and pray. He made good use of that room... his room... his quiet place.

Entering that room remains a significant part of our lives. When we need to feel his presence, we enter. When we need to remember, we go in. When we need to release our pent up emotions, we fall down and let go by his bed. There is no question, that we feel him near, in there.

I have noticed that when others enter that room, what they experience is significant. To some it brings closure. To others, laughter at memories they have of things that reside there or events brought back to mind. Still others quickly discover their tears where they did not expect to find them. Even more, remove their shoes, get on their faces, and share in the presence of God, and the memories of a young man so committed to Christ. Though it is very strange to write or read, it has in fact felt like, Holy ground.

Noone has left unmoved. Most have stated that it was harder than they expected... more emotional, but they were glad they entered in.

Thus is the room in our house where our son resided, where the presence of the Lord still has dominion.

I cannot tell you how hard it is going to be to leave that room behind, knowing we will never set up another room for him to inhabit. It makes me sick to my stomach, even as I think about it.

How much more then do I Praise our God, that He has created a room in it's place. He did so before my son ever even entered his room. He did so with us in mind.

It is a beautiful room, adorned with the sweet presence of Christ Jesus! Physically, the way it appears is beyond fair description. Just to know that His presence is always there, is descriptive enough. It is Holy ground, but you don't need to remove your shoes. It will cause you to fall to your knees, but not out of ritual or rite... but out of communion with the risen Christ, and the desperation that beckons Him near from within the cry of your soul.

It is a room that is different in every home, though it serves the same purpose. How we decorate it, is a direct result of the depth of our love for Him. We cannot fill it with gold or silver, or fine linens or perfumes.

We fill it from a heart broken for Christ, from the heart of a servant who does not care to better his own disposition, but only to share the love of the Master.

This room is within you and within me. It is the temple of the Holy Spirit. He resides there, and I can go there to feel His presence. I can go there to remember. I can even go there to release pent up emotion, as I pour my heart out to the only One who can truly understand.

Jesus, I love you!!!

brent

22 Comments:

At 7:44 AM, Blogger brobrad said...

I am one who has entered that room in search of a connection to Beej, my eyes scanning over the assorted possessions he had for memory triggers...and the posters always draw my eyes up to the walls.

The variety is interesting, but the focus on Christ is unquestionable. I can recall only two of the many that aren't directly Christ-focused or of Christian music groups - one an autographed Colts poster and then the "Matrix" movie poster. I know there is a "Lord of the Rings" calenar as well.

In their number and diversity they seem an accurate representation of who BJ was, his interests and hobbies.

I know the emotion I feel each time and can only begin to imagine how many times that must be multiplied for you each time you enter the room.

Packing up his room is going to be exceedingly difficult I know, but maybe it can be seen as a representation of taking up the challenge he leaves us, and moving forward to raise a revolution for Christ.

My own struggle is to shift my heart's focus from BJ's room to the room my Heavenly Father has prepared for me, for each of us when we are faithful; to answer his call and like you Brent, say "here I am," and take up the cross.

I love you guys; Deanna, I hope you are feeling better today.

Brad


P.S. Marti, it was wonderful to meet you and visit a while.

 
At 8:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Deeply profound words! WOW!

 
At 8:39 AM, Blogger Paul said...

I can't wait to meet that man someday...

 
At 9:00 AM, Blogger Lattany said...

I couldn't have said it better --

Packing up his room is going to be exceedingly difficult I know, but maybe it can be seen as a representation of taking up the challenge he leaves us, and moving forward to raise a revolution for Christ.
-Brad


Lattany
Fairfax, VA, USA

 
At 9:48 AM, Blogger LisaTeegarden said...

I know that when I walked in his room...I did not want to leave it. I can't even imagine how difficult it will be for you all to leave it behind. I do however think it is really neat that the "new" resident of his room is someone he knew and cared about. What a joy she will have in that room...and what a presence of the Lord is there. Love You's lots. Lisa
Marti it was a joy to meet you. I wish I had had time to talk to you.
God Bless.

 
At 4:29 PM, Anonymous Brittany Di Salvo said...

Wow.. I loved reading this. Thanks dad.

In Christ's Love,
Brit

 
At 5:03 PM, Anonymous Mary Leestma said...

I've never been to your house, and won't get the privilege of ever seeing BJ's room, but i can picture something in my mind... see him sitting on his bed intently studying his Bible or jamming out on the guitar, his own worship service to the Lord.
I'm praying for you, especially as the time gets closer to pack everything up. Change takes alot of courage. and oh my is it hard! I love you guys soo much!
Mary

 
At 9:58 PM, Blogger Barbara Ann said...

You are so true. Going into his room for the first time was sombering. You are right when you say, it is as holy ground. Being able to sit in there and just stare at the walls, and just sit and pray to our Father was humbling. Humbling that He allowed me to be able to know and serve with BJ, and see all that God has done through BJ.

As humbling as that was, it is even more humbling that God chose me. I'd be lost without Him.
Thanks so much Lord!

Im praying for you. I know its going to be tough to take his room down. Love you!!

Barbara Ann

 
At 10:53 PM, Blogger Praying in Pink said...

I haven't completely processed my thoughts and feelings since having the amazing privilege of spending time in BJ's room this week, but I'll share a few early ones. . .

BJ didn't clean up his room or put certain things on the walls because he knew he was leaving home for the hospital and ultimately, a heavenly one. BJ's room, as his uncle Brad notes, clearly and powerfully reflects the presence of Christ. His Bibles (as Brent told us yesterday) also reflect that presence --not just because they are Bibles, but because BJ lived and loved and USED those Bibles. When you pick one up, you see immediately how much the Word of God meant to him.

When you enter BJ's room, you see immediately how much JESUS meant to him. I am confident that even a not-yet-believer would immediately see Who stood solidly at the very center of BJ's heart and life.

Thank You, Jesus, that you have made a new room for BJ that's much more incredible than even the very focused one he had on earth. Thank You that you will continue giving Brent, Deanna, Lauren, and Whitney the grace to face these days that become an even newer normal. Thank You that your presence is so powerfully present in that room that yes, Brent, I became one of those who fell on my face before Him.

What a privilege to meet BrotherBrad, Lisa, Lynae, and other anonymous and not-so-anonymous bloggers! Thank you, Jesus (and Your servant, Walker Moore) for the many other privileges of those precious days. Lord, teach us, like BJ, to make room in our hearts and homes for You--today!

still praying in pink
(and now back in Charleston),

Marti for all the Piepers

 
At 12:30 AM, Anonymous kristin dutt said...

hey parents!

sorry its been a few days.. i was on a school senior trip in Colorado..skiing my legs away. It was good fun, good fellowship..and we all came back unharmed!
I'm not sure that i would be strong enough to enter his room..looking at his picture that i keep in my Bible is enough to move me to tears..much less to be where he slept, and lived, and communed w/his Lord.

i love you guys immensely..i'm praying always

~kristin

 
At 1:08 AM, Blogger Linda Ronne said...

Brent,

Even though I have not been in BJ's room, or your house for that matter, emotions stirred as I read your post. My heart wept for you both. I can't even begin to imagine all the thoughts and emotions that are running through you both as you prepare to pack up that "special" room. But how reassuring to know that wherever you are you have the presence of our Lord and Savor, Jesus Christ, and wherever you are you will always have the most precious memories of your son,BJ, who now has a new room, prepared for him by Jesus.
You and your family continue to remain in my thoughts and prayers.

In His Love
Linda
Shawnee,OK

 
At 8:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

On this very room, there is quite anough love for all the world, for Jesus, yes, Jesus, is in this very room!!!

 
At 8:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Was there a Bloggers Reunion?? I must have missed that information. I am so sorry I didn't get to meet you all. I guess being anonymous, keeps me anonymous - I just haven't thought of a good name for myself.
Thanks tho!!
Mary

 
At 10:43 PM, Blogger Praying in Pink said...

No bloggers' reunion . . . just a trip to Indianapolis that God allowed. Awesome idea for someday though--until God gives us ROOM for a reunion in heaven and time to listen to the "long version" of anything BJ has to share.

Praying for fresh fire in our hearts as we worship in spirit and truth--

and pink!

Marti for all the Piepers
Charleston, SC

 
At 4:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for the many life lessons and the time you have invested in this ministry over the months. My heart is always encouraged when I come here. I count it an honor to uplift your family to our Father.
Brynden
Missouri

 
At 9:29 PM, Blogger Nic and Jen said...

Hello,
Ok I deleted my last post. I had posted a poem I thought you would like... then thought I was being silly. Sorry! I have not posted in awhile. Sometimes I feel like I never say the right thing. Ok, so maybe I will post the poem tomorrow or the next day. :) You need to know how many fellow brothers and sisters in Christ are praying and thinking about you. Regardless of my "loss of words," you need to know you are loved. You need to know that many many peoples lives have been changed because of BJ and because of your website. Many people have committed to Christ, or re-committed their lives to Christ because of BJ's life. Please know how important you are and that you are loved. I am amazed how how you serve the King. You are true servants of the Lord. God Bless you!
Jennifer WA

 
At 2:18 AM, Anonymous Cathy said...

Your words continue to inspire me. Your love for the Lord is contagious. Thank you for continuing to blog.
Love in Christ,
Cathy

 
At 11:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just found this site with random surfing last night and I am so touched by it, it makes me wish i had known BJ personally, he was such an amazing man of God and in these exerpts and his journal it has really made me turn my walk with God around....God has a plan for everything and it is quite obvious what his plan was with BJ, you should be very proud parents, your son is an amazing man and i can tell will forever be remember by many

 
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