It has been an interesting journey to begin to get to know those who knew my son on the mission field. The BJ they knew was not always the same one I knew. The differences were sometimes minute, yet differences nonetheless.

You have heard from many of them through the last 8 or 9 months as several have been faithful writers. The connection we have is a very special one. The stories I hear are significant to me.

I spent a week in Mexico with one young lady who told me that she knew my son, because her team (Thailand '05) were the last ones to arrive back in the U.S. They got to debriefing in the middle of the night. BJ came out and carried her backpack in for her. Her connection was short, but memorable.

I spent time with BJ's "POP" (an acronym for Passing On Principles- the entry level of leadership) from Peru '04. I had the privilege of seeing him at BJ's funeral, Leadership training last November, and here the last couple of days. I met his mother and brother at a Christian bookstore recently.

Another of his team from '04 was at the same Christian bookstore, at the same time. I have met her on several occassions as well. She and her sister are both alumni of Awe Star. She has been a source of inspiration to me. BJ came home in '04 with much to share about her. She is precious.

Still two more who were hugely important to Beej may come to spend time with us in August! I pray that comes to pass.

These are just a sampling of the many I have had the honor of spending time with. I have met many parents as well. I am moved each time I have this privilege, because I know what it takes to surrender your child to the Lord's care. Each of them are encouraging, and have a story to share. This is such a huge blessing.

Recently, I am told, a discussion began over whether or not I would allow my son to go to the mission field if I knew then what I know now. I was very quick to say, "YES, I WOULD!" When God calls you to an area of obedience, the wrong thing to do is say "No."

Yes, I miss him. Yes I would love to have him by my side to continue making memories together. Yes it is excrutiating to live each and every moment knowing he is gone. But truly I say to you that you only have to read this site for a moment to see how much God is doing in the lives of others, as well as our own!

Many lives have come to the Lord Jesus, because he layed down his own. He was a willing participant in this. Not that he knew specifically what was happening or even that it would happen this way. He knew he was called to martyrdom. He had written much about each of our need to be similarly willing to lay down our lives.

He could have saved his earthly life by being disobedient to God. Back in the winter of '05 he struggled over returning to Peru... he wanted to go to Thailand. God said otherwise. BJ obeyed. His direct obedience to God's call resulted in his death.

I understand that had he been diagnosed much sooner, he could have been spared by being on doxocyclene. Do I grieve over this? Of course. I would not be human if I didn't. Do I blame the doctors? NO!

I know that what happened to my son has from the very beginning pointed to Christ. BJ was known to quote Phil. 1:21, "to live is Christ, to die is gain." There is no question in my mind that his death was great gain. Great gain for him, as he sees Christ in all His fullness. Great gain for those who have come to Christs' salvation as a result of BJ's story. Great gain for many readers who would not willingly seek to benefit from his death, but in fact do as the Holy Spirit moves on us. Great gain for his family in that we have each drawn closer to the Lord at the sacrifice of our only son/brother.

Does life go on as though none of this matters? Yes, if we allow it.

I will not do so, easily. I will not perseverate on his life forever, because the real story is Christ and Him crucified and resurrected. But I will tell his story as long as the Lord draws others unto Him, through him.

dad