Saturday, October 29, 2005

For the past few months, much of my Bible reading has been in the Psalms. The Message is the most recent translation I have enjoyed - it puts things differently, simply perhaps, but like you've never heard before.

Chapter 34 "Is anyone crying for help? God is listening, ready to rescue you. If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there; if you're kicked in the gut, He'll help you catch your breath. Disciples so often get into trouble; still, God is there every time."

And Chapter 130 "Help, God - the bottom has fallen out of my life!... Listen to my cries for mercy... I pray to God - my life a prayer - and wait for what He'll say and do. My life's on the line before God, my Lord, waiting and watching till morning, waiting and watching till morning."

In the hospital we did a lot of "waiting and watching." Now, our waiting and watching is much different. A friend reminded me the other night that our life is but a vapor and when we're taken home, it will be like just a few minutes have passed. If only we could have heaven's perspective on earth.

As I talk with You Father, sometimes with words, sometimes with groans and sometimes straight from Your Word, thank you for hearing our cries and standing by us and walking with us and holding our hands. We are humbled to really feel and be strengthened by the prayers of the saints and get a little taste of heaven here on earth. Thank you for the capability to focus on what You have for me today in Your Word. Open my ears to listen and hear and understand what You are saying to me dear Jesus. Wipe away all bitterness and resentment and anger, KEEP wiping it away, as it creeps up over and over. I know You are the sovereign God. I know I can trust You. Light the path for us. Make each step we take clear. Give us confidence in You and the resilience that our son displayed so well.

Psalm 127 "Don't you see that children are God's best gift? The fruit of the womb His generous legacy?"

Thank you Father for making it so,


A.J. what a precious gift! Thank you so very much, you have touched us!!


At 9:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your website continues to minister to me in my walk with Christ. As I just read yesterday's post I was brought to tears by the entry from BJ's journal. That is exactly what I needed to hear this morning. Thank you for your obedience to God and for listening to his still small voice as you write these posts. Your family is a blessing to me and I continue to pray for you.
Tammy in W-S, NC

At 10:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you Deanna, I'm going to read Ch.34

Could you please join me in prayer for our 16yr.old son.
Pray that the Lord will soften and minister to his heart, to draw him toward him so that the desires of his heart will be to live a life for our Lord and not of the World.

I continue to lift your precious family up in prayer to our Heavenly Father asking him to provide each of your needs individually.

Thank you for this Blog... I never heard of Blogging before until Beej's journey for the Lord.
What a wonderful and faithful Servant of God.
The Lord used him so much in my spiritaul life that I'm unable to express my gratitude....

So I would like to thank you for allowing the Lord to use each of you for his Glory....

Your Sister in Christ,
Mary (noblesville)

At 10:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is so good to hear from you again, Deanna,

I am praying for you specifically. I am a mom who has a child with a genetic heart problem. It's the thing where you "go out on the basketball court and just die". Usually there are no symptoms ahead of time. Just sudden cardiac arrest. We know about it and we do what we can. He is only 5 years old this year. Ultimately he is in God's hands and God's alone as your BJ was.

To hear from your mother's heart is always a blessing to me. And yes, what greater gift from God than children?

Lifting you all up and loving you from afar,

Heather in Carlsbad, CA

At 10:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Blessings to all of you this day. What precious words to read and hear, Deanna. Thank you for sharing. No one can understand the depth of your pain right now, nor the roller coaster of emotions you probably all are experiencing every day. Please know though that we continue to hold you up. God will somehow get you through this and what an incredible blessing it is to have His word and the gift of His Holy Spirit with us to comfort us and specifically all of you during this time. Blessings, Tina

At 11:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for encouraging me each day. Your daily posts are a blessing to read each day. I am praying for you and your family.

At 11:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you Deanna for sharing your heart with us today. Like always, it was such a blessing. Sometimes when I read your writings I just gasp. Your pain and sorrow, we all feel. You are in our every thought. We will always be here for you.

Pat Davila

At 11:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you Deanna!

I continue to lift you up and pray for God's continual, reoccurring, endless strength to not only get you through the day - but, conquer it in a BIG way and continue (as you have) bringing great glory to our Lord in the quiet times and the times when many are watching.

Oh, that you would also know that He knows yout weaknesses & strengths and is using YOU for those very reasons for His very purposes...may you feel blessed in Him today in unique, specific, & new ways!

In His Love,

At 2:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing. My heart goes out to you. You are in our prayers.
Indpls., In

At 2:52 PM, Blogger . said...

Thanks for sharing, Deanna. I'm praying especially for you, one mom for another....

At 3:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Every time I sign on,
casting Crowns begins to play
on the radio. This semi-new song
reminds me of BJ every time I hear it.
I'm not sure the name but John put it on IPOD for you while back.
Anyway I've been thinking about you and praying for you Deanna and your family.
I hope my prayers are helping bring more
strenght and growing peace in your hearts today and every day to come
Lots of Love
Indpls., IN

At 6:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't think I ever understand the Lament portions of Scripture until I experienced my own deep sorrows. I know there are portions of the Laments, and portions of pain, that I've not yet experienced. . .but I'm so thankful God's Word touches even those times. Praying that He continues to touch your lives, Higgins family, to lift you, sustain you, and weep alongside you,

praying in pink,

Marti for the Pieper Family
Charleston, SC

At 6:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'm thinking we can end this blog.

At 6:59 PM, Blogger Kim Mierau said...

Brent, it was so good to see you today. I'm glad I could make you coffee.

Deanna, I hope one day I can be a mother as strong and wise and faithful as you. Your words leave me with tears, but also with a sweet image of what motherhood is about.

Love, *Kim

At 7:01 PM, Blogger Kim Mierau said...

I just saw the comment about ending the blog and I hope it doesn't, unless you, Higgins, are wanting it to be so. You bring such an amazing perspective of God's character every day to this blog and allow so many believers to minister to one another. Some of my most challenging and inspiring moments in faith have been incited by the words and story and testament of this blog.

At 9:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

May God bless you on His day tomorrow. Praying much for each of you!

At 9:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I pray that the blog site doesn't end as long as people are still accepting Christ. If someone doesn't want it, then they can stop reading it. If the family wants it to stop, then it for sure should. Otherwise, allow God to use it for His glory.

At 9:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who wants to end this blog?

At 9:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hadn't heard about that before, but will pray that God continues to use it for as long as it is needed. I think it is theraupeutic for the family.
God bless everyone who is involved in making it happen.

At 9:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear God,
I want to thank you for this blog site and for the people that have made it happen. Thank You for what you are doing through the Higgins family. People all over the world are hearing the story and coming to Christ. May You be glorified!

At 9:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm thinking (unless as Kim said, the Higgins family wants to end the blog) that if anyone wants the blog to end, they can just quit reading it! It seems to me that there are many of us who continue to be challenged in our walk with God through what is shared here, and I for one would be very disappointed if it were to end.

I'm almost finished reading "Don't Waste Your Life" by John Piper, which I probably would never have read were it not for one of Lauren's early postings, based on BJ's own journal. What an eye-opener! I've recommended it, and this blog, to several people.

While I will forever grieve the loss of BJ and the price your family has had to pay (you continue to be in my prayers daily), I will also be eternally grateful for the ministry you have shared with the world.

Anne (Marion)

PS to Brent: I regret that I did not bring my mother with me to BJ's "visitation" (sorry, I don't remember the correct term). I found out later she would have very much liked to have come. She said you were her paperboy at one time, and she remembers you as being quite "special."

At 9:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

:) God is GOOD!!

At 9:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At 11:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This blogsite continues to give me all kinds of emotion. Sometimes I'll laugh, somtimes I'll cry, but either way I get to know BJ more. His life story inspires me to go on and tell more people about Christ. It's hard for me, but BJ's courage reminds me how I have to go out there and follow in his incredible footsteps.
I understand the unwelcome guest concept, from "What About Bob?" One of my favorite movies with Dr. Leo Marvin. Did BJ ever see that, because it was a hilarious movie!
I continue to pray for you!
With love,
Lauren Szabo

At 12:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your prayer is so powerful. I find comfort in reading your words. The messages your family writes are my daily devotions. Thank you for spreading God's word. Thank you for bringing so many more people closer to God.

At 1:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Higgins Family--
I wanted to pass along a prayer request to you. The pastor of University Baptist Church here in Waco, TX was performing a baptism this morning when the microphone fell in the water and he was electrocuted. Hes not dead, but in very serious condition. His name is Kyle Lake. This is a church that has at least 300 college students every Sunday, so you can imagine the students reaction when in the middle of church service during a joyous occasion this happens to their pastor. The girl he was baptizing is ok, but he is not. They are asking prayers for him as he struggles for life. You can get updates on the pastor at Thank you for your prayers.

At 2:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sunday afternoon
I hope this Blog stays.
Who wants it to end?
Not ME
Thank you Family for sharing but if you are tired and need a break, I'd understand and respect your decision.
But if you need help keeping Blogg going Please say so.
Indpls., In

At 2:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am praying for you & your family stay strong & stay focused.

At 3:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear God,
PLEASE touch Pastor Lake and restore his body!

At 3:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I still check this site about everyday. When i read it, I always get a new perspective on my relationship with God.
I have a prayer request that I'd like to share with everyone on here. Two of my friends' parents are about to get a divorce. Nothing is final, except for the hardness of their hearts. Pray for reconcilleation so my friends' lives dont get destroyed and their perspective on marriage.

At 4:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

thank you for your daily poasts! im only 16, and i hope that one day i can be like bj. i never got to meet him...but i wish i had. thanks for the everyday liftting up this site does.

At 7:59 PM, Blogger Ashley Reagan said...

Hey family! I am looking forward to seeing you this next weekend! I can't wait to give you guys the Peru video!

To the person who's friends parents are getting divorced. I know exactly what your friends are going through as my parents are in the middle of that too. Please let them know that I am in prayer for them and the whole view on marriage. I myself am having a hard time with that also, trying not to let it destroy my view on it. It makes me sad that so many people are going through that. Praying for your friends and praying for you, Higgins family! :)

At 8:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I received this e-mail the same day as your post. What a coincidence!

Subject: Psalms!

Q: What is the shortest chapter in the Bible?

A: Psalms 117

Q: What is the longest chapter in the Bible?

A: Psalms 119

Q: Which chapter is in the center of the Bible?

A: Psalms 118

Fact: There are 594 chapters before Psalms 118

Fact: There are 594 chapters after Psalms 118

Add these numbers up and you get 1188.

Q: What is the center verse in the Bible?

A: Psalms 118:8

Q: Does this verse say something significant about God's perfect will for our lives?

The next time someone says they would like to find God's perfect will for their lives and that they want to be in the center of His will, just send them to the
center of His Word!

Psalms 118:8 (NKJV)

"It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man."

Now isn't that odd how this worked out (or was God in the center of it)?

Continuing to think of you and praying for you in Zionsville

At 11:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Psalm 3
O Lord, how many are my foes!
How many rise up against me!
Many are saying of me, "God will not deliver him." Selah
But you are a shield around me, O Lord; you bestow glory on me and
lift up my head.
To the Lord I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill. Selah
I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me.
I will not fear the tens of thousands drawn up against me on every side.
Arise, O Lord! Deliver me, O my God! Strike all my enemies on the jaw; break the teeth of the wicked.
From the Lord comes deliverance. May your blessing be on your people. Selah

As life around you continues to move on, I am praying for you the prayer of David in this amazing psalm. When all was crumbling in David's life, through his cries God revealed that even in the deepest of trials, God's blessing would be on him as it is on you. I can see through the words of your family that God is truly bestowing glory on you and He is lifting up your head. I know through the prayers of the body of Christ, you will be able to lie down and sleep through the peace and serenity that only comes through our awesome and mighty God. God bless you in all the days ahead.

Your sister in Christ,

Katie Kyle
Piedmont, Oklahoma

At 12:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Still praying for your entire family in Arlington, TX. My Mom, Esther, got through her 1st round of chemo for breast cancer this weekend. Thanks to all who have prayed for her. One down, seven to go!

At 12:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you all so much for your encouragement to me in the past weeks! As a prayer request, I would like you to please pray for the Family of Kyle Lake, pastor of University Baptist Church in Waco, TX. He was baptizing today when the microphone fell in the water. He was electrocuted and rushed to the hospital. He died this morning at 11:30. More details are posted at I know God has strengthened you all in your loss, and I also know that his wife and children need alot of prayer right now. Thank you for your amazing influence and for letting God use you in amazing ways to radiate His glory to the nations!
His servant,
Phil Christensen

At 2:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for your continued posting- i have truly been blessed by your blog and it continues to challenge me each and every day- you all are continually in my prayers-

At 7:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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