Yesterday we received a "death benefit" check (2nd one). Wow is that final! It takes your breath away. It stirs your heart full of emotion and the release never seems to get sweet. It just ends, only to return later, like an unwelcome guest (have you seen "What about Bob?").

We didn't know we had this "benefit" before this whole saga began...well, ended.(my job is fairly new, and I failed to see this in the paperwork...you know, the paperwork?). It does however, beg the question, what is the value of life? It is not my intent however, to descend a steep philosophical hill that might only lead to...well, a lower point in emotional geography than I wish to visit.

Suffice it to say, that the value in your life is found in the depth of pursuit in your relationship with Christ. BJ's walk with the Lord was one that will not soon be forgotten. How we live our lives is critical. We cannot afford to turn our backs on who Jesus is, and who He wants us to be. We need to "dive deep" as Beej put it. To live the best that you can, means to be obedient with each heartbeat. This means being in that constant state of prayer we have each learned so much about over the last 2 1/2 months, and beseeching our Father for our decisions, and our actions.

This is not a trivial matter to our Lord. He wants unlimited access to our hearts and lives. He wants our steps to bring Him glory. He wants our faces to reflect His radiance. He wants our hearts to overflow with the joy that He fills us with. He wants our knees to be calloused and sturdy!

I can no longer afford to conduct myself in the same ways. What happened to my son has certainly changed my life. I often feel compelled to bring about radical change. I see the need for it all around me. What can I do about it? I can focus on one person at a time as the Lord brings them into my path. Then, as I find obedience and faithfulness to Him in my daily life, He'll prepare me for additional opportunities.

Perhaps BJ said it best in his '04 Peru journal:

"I need to live my life in a way that would glorify God, and leave a legacy of a Christlike life. I need to not just seek the harvest, but continue sowing and planting and watering seeds, for when Christ said "the harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few," He did not mean just harvesters or reapers. Workers include sowing and planting and watering as well as harvesting and reaping."

Well said Beej, and well lived son.

dad


Yes Angela (from Mooresville), BJ would think your pink shirt with camouflage pants was a cool outfit!