Saturday, October 22, 2005

There are things that I laugh at now, that used to drive me crazy! BJ was notorious for doing things slowly and methodically. I believe in part, because he was a reaction to me...always in a hurry, and doing everything as quickly as possible- even eating meals, I never met anyone who could eat faster than me (until I met Deanna). Not that it is ever a race, and I know it isn't good, but I just know how to consume quickly!

Not BJ. He mosied along the dinner plate as if it were a great adventure and he had to know every pasta noodle, individually. He may have even named some of his food, cause it was around long enough. It took him just as long to order his food, and inevitably, he would order one of the most expensive things. It wouldn't be so bad, but then he would eat maybe half on a good day. Oh did we have exhaustive conversations over this.

Perhaps it would have been quicker to have the server point out the 2 or 3 most expensive items and just let him choose. He would have been ready sooner. Poor guy, he would see my body language, and know my annoyance, and it would just make it harder! Guess who needed to change? (Sometimes I think I was born in a race car going 200 mph cause I've been struggling to slow down, since.)

The Lord has certainly taught me patience, endurance, and about long-suffering. I don't say this to solicit sympathy, I say it because it is true, and I needed to be taught these things. It just is sad to think that my growth, sometimes comes at the expense of my children.

There were more times than I would like to admit that I had to go to Beej and ask his forgiveness for losing it, or being overbearing. You know he never once had a hard time forgiving me?!

My Jesus is even more amazing at this! I sin, he forgives. Of course He died once to provide forgiveness past, present and future, but my sin is blotted out. He does not remember it. I do, but he doesn't. The father of lies loves to torment us with our past failures. He loves to try to get us to take part once again in old familiar paths. He makes them sooo alluring, even though we know they only produce emptiness, and sorrow.

We have ultimate victory, if we have Christ Jesus. There is simply no other way. Acts 4:12 says, "Salvation is found in noone else, for there is no other name under heaven, given to men by which we must be saved." There is nothing to add or subtract from Jesus Christ, and Him crucified. He paid the price, and it is ours to take hold of or reject. No middle ground. No other savior. If you don't have Jesus, you don't have life. You can pretend that there are other ways, but the author of life has made it clear that there aren't.

This is why we must GO! Get the Word out! A dying world believes in many ways to God, many ways to heaven. Jesus said "I am the way, and the truth, and the life, no man comes to the Father, but by me." John 14:6 He said this because God gave Him the authority to do so.

If you don't know Jesus, please ask Him to be your Savior and Lord. If you do, then GO!

Have a blessed weekend!

dad

32 Comments:

At 9:03 AM, Blogger Melissa said...

Good Morning! Reading your post I had to laugh. I don't think that there is a parent in this world who hasn't apologized many times over for impatience. It seems that as young people, we have all the time in the world to make our decisions and ponder life. As we grow older things have to move at such a fast pace. Oh how I long to go back to the days when I felt as though I could take my time in everything that I did!

God bless you all!

 
At 9:41 AM, Anonymous Pat Davila said...

That was beautiful. A little eye opening too. I have done the same with my children. I do everything fast including eating, like my food hot, and I want everything yesterday. I thought it was a N.Y. thing. My son just moves and a different pace in everything he does. He also orders the most expensive thing but he will finish what he orders. I'm not sure if he likes it or he is watching that "look on my face". Sometimes we want our kids to do as we do, but God has made us all different. I find my self being taught by my child by his example and his faith. BJ seems to have been a teacher as well. BJ has taught me so much through his writings and his faith. You family, every member, has also taught us so much about trust. Trusting God, His will, and being faithful in all circumstances. BJ was an exceptional child but it was inherited.


Because of Grace,
Pat

 
At 9:47 AM, Blogger brobrad said...

I remember another young Brent who enjoyed ordering from the pricier parts of the menu....

The fact that you DID go to BJ and ask forgiveness is a very real reason that he became who he did. You and Deanna modeled Jesus to your children and even though there are times you reacted in ways you regret, your character came through in how you later dealt with the weak moments.

We are all different people, God has given us unique personalities and characteristics that fit His desires for us to fulfill the role in His plan that He has for us. Within each family we see this and it makes some things harder to deal with...but ultimately teaches us much more than it costs us, just as our death's daily to the cause of Christ will if we are faithful to do so.

As I have tried to think back and grasp each memory of BJ, because right now they are like precious jewels, I smile a lot through my tears. If we only knew what life had in store how much more we would live it daily.

At times I struggle to remember and then something you say triggers other memories or facial expressions and I realize that I could have/should have gleaned so much more out of those few weekends I spent with him while you were at youth events. A more gracious and agreeable guest I couldn't imagine.

As family we like to think we know all about each other when in reality we miss so much. I knew of his depth, of his love for Christ, of his love for his family...but I too often missed his wisdom - or maybe I just didn't look for it or expect it from a "child." I hurt to know him better and only hope I can translate that into learning to know Him better, and to experience the give and take with those around me.

I love you all and pray this is a good day for all of you. Know His peace and comfort today.

 
At 9:53 AM, Blogger Nic and Jen said...

Good Morning Higgins Family,
I was laughing as I was reading about BJ. My son is the opposite, and my daughter is like BJ. I know exactly what you are talking about. You also have shown me that the fast way is not alwasy the right way. I am always on the run, doing one thing after the next. My husband and I have had SOOOO many conversations with him begging me to slow down! This has made me think again! It sounds like you guys are persevering, holding on to Jesus. I love how in every post you quote scripture that teaches that Jesus is the way to eternal life. For those out there reading this blog.... what a huge blessing. We are commanded to spread the Good News. You have taught me so much through all your postings. And so much I have learned through BJ. God Bless you guys. I will quietly remind myself this weekend to slow down. My husband will probably think I have done a complete personality change. Ha ha ha. I will tell him I did a little learning from an exceptional person, Brent!! God Bless you guys.
In Christ,
Jennifer
WA

 
At 9:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying that God allows you to slow down and enjoy one another along with His beautiful creation this weekend--praying for tender times together. Thank you, God, for shared memories. Thank you, God, for parents who admit that they don't always have it all together. Thank you, God, that You always do!

praying in pink,

Pieper Family
Charleston, SC

 
At 10:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

AMEN!! Our God is truly an amazing and awesome God. He is the "Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End" and I am so glad that I am on His side! Satan, thru Christ, has been defeated and is under our feet, and we as Christians need to remember that in our daily walks.

Brent you and your family have helped to serve as a light to others. Jesus talks about in Matthew in the beattitudes about how a "city on a hill cannot be hidden" and that we should let our "lights shine before men". I am so thankful that you have allowed God to use you in this way and that so many lives, mine included, have been touched by it. You all have shown me how to better have grace under pressure and also how to relay God's Grace to others. I am so thankful for all of you.

Christian brothers and sisters lets joing together in the spiritual battle. Let's take up our sword and put on our armour and fight. For to long we have been still and we have let the enemy creep into our lives. We have let him slither his way into many aspects that we might not even suspect or admit, church for example. Lets take up our cross and follow BJ and all the other missionaries around the world. Let's continue this journey, this Great Commission, until all have heard the Good News! You can be a missionary wherever you are: work, church, school, maybe even within your own family. Don't be afraid, Jesus goes before you and besides fear isn't from Christ. You don't have to go overseas to be a missionary and it might suprise you to know that we have missionaries of the Christian faith that came HERE from other countries. We need Christ in our own country and lives, as much as other people in other parts of the world do! Will you join in this fight today?

For those who don't know Christ, it is my prayer that God would put someone in your life that is a good and strong influence. A person that can show you just how truly amazing God's love for you is. Do you know that He died for YOU! He suffered and died so that you might live. How many people in your life would do that for you today? I challenge you to truly think and pray about what it is you believe in, or don't believe in. Why do you believe it? If you died today where would you go? Where's your proof, do you have any? If you find you have no answers or want better ones-pray! God will give you an answer, if you will listen. Please know that there are so many of us waiting with open arms and hearts to help you. We would be glad to help you in any way we can!

Father, I pray that you would bless everyone that comes to this site today. That You would just become more real and relivent to them today. I pray that a fire would start in the hearts of Christians around the world. That we would just go out and tell others about how Awesome You are! I am so thankful that you sent Jesus to die for me, because I know that I am truly unworthy. Thank you for calling me out and saving me. I pray that you would just use me, and others, as a vessel to tell others about the saving grace that is Jesus! I pray that you would continue to comfort and guide the Higgins family as they continue down this winding path. That you would just wrap your arms around them and that they would continue to feel Your presence. Thank you for ALL you have done for me both today and everyday! It is in Jesus' name that I pray.
AMEN!!

Allison Q

 
At 10:11 AM, Blogger Linda Ronne said...

What another wonderful life lesson you have given us this morning. I think I fit into the catorgeory of lets do it yesterday, once I make a decission I like to act on it straight away, if not sooner, my husband will agree with me there. I am forever telling him that he procrastinates, and I am forever getting frustrated with his slowness, when in actualality it is just the difference in personalities and character.
Thank you Brent for reminding me that I need to ask forgivness when I show impatience and intolerance.
Our Jesus certainly is amazing, there are many times I can't comprehend the forgivness that He so freely offers to us, and there isn't a moment that goes by where I don't feel that I deserve His forgivness. And as always He remains faithful when we do not.

I hope that your weekend is filled with the people and the activities that you both love. May it be a weekend that is restful and refreshing, a blessing in itself.

In His Love
Linda
OK

 
At 10:29 AM, Blogger Tara Case said...

Family!
Its been a couple of days! Anyways, I am just stopping by to say hello :-) Seems that for me i am trying to speed up at times because i seem to stop to much and just look around LoL. We all balance out the work of the Lord! Thanks for the encouragement to the parents to allow there kids to go. A few of the younger girls i disciple, their parents are worried about them going, so be praying for that! Well i am off to, well another day to see what God does. I got to encourage one of my brothers (in christ) that i work with this morning...He was late for the meeting and everyone was kinda rude to him-but I just got to remind him that work is our mission field for right now! But i love you all and see you soon! WOO HOO!
Tara Case
Yukon, Oklahoma

 
At 10:32 AM, Blogger Barbara Ann said...

Good morning family...

So many times it just slaps me in the face what our Saviour did for us. And all He asks of me is to be faithful right back. So many times that is so hard for me, because I just 'think' that my way, is the right way. But how I am so wrong. It makes me want to strive to live the life that God has called me to every single day..dying to myself and living for Christ. I know that I do fail, but its okay. I have learned that its better to fail at some things in life, and learn from those mistakes, than to not fail and not learn anything at all.

You made me smile when you spoke about how slow Beej was in eating. I was remembering how he was always the last one to finish making his squeezer sandwich, and of course the last one eating it. It had to be perfect before he could eat it...funny times!

I hope that your weekend is blessed and that God would show you so much!

Im still praying on my face for you....

love, Barbara Ann

 
At 11:13 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good day to you Family
I want to share a little something about what you wrote yesterday.
My best friend past away in February and we shared everything. We could know eachothers thoughts and finish eachothers sentances.
Anyway, after his service I came home and realized he wasn't home to call and share my day with. I called his house anyway and left detailed message on his voice mail about his service.
For months to come I would run to the phone when it wrang "Oh maybe it's David calling" Then i would
realize No, can't be him and a sick feeling would take over.
My nausea became less intense but out of no where last week, the phone wrang and I hurried to it thinking David's calling. Well this time I wasn't nauseated, I actually found a bit a humor as caller ID was blank, the person calling hung up and I said "Well Hello David"
You see for several weeks I've
been praying for signs of David to know he is still around me and I've had plenty signs besides the phone deal. I hope each day to come is less painful for each of you but
you will always feel BJ around you and when you Think he's not,
Cry out to Jesus. He will show you that they are there.
Lots of Love to you Family!!!
I pray for you continued peace grow in your hearts and strength build every day within.
Love Lisa
Sister in Indpls., IN

 
At 11:22 AM, Blogger Tammy said...

As the mother of 3 girls 13,8 & 3
I can relate to the need for more patience!!!
God Bless you and your family and I will continue to pray !
Praying in Utah
Tammy

 
At 11:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amen!!

I love you family.

~Kayla (Peru 2005)

 
At 12:33 PM, Blogger Deanna said...

Why do we always hurry??? I, too, rush through everything and my children.......well, lets just say if a task assigned gets accomplished in the same day as the assignment, we have experienced a miracle!!!! :)

Thanks for sharing from your heart. I absolutely love and embrace the lessons that you are teaching me. And, because of BJ's blog, I do not take one minute that I have with my own precious children for granted.

Love and Prayers-
Deanna

 
At 8:56 PM, Blogger *kim said...

thanks so much for having me! i loved spending time with you! see you again soon i hope. love *kim (and the mummy toe)

 
At 9:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brent & Deanna,
I come and read every day, and every day I am uplifted and in awe at how God is using you even in this extremely difficult time. When you write about how much you miss him and the hardest thing right now is thinking he will be back, that he is just away, WOW, that reality became so clear after you wrote about it and even though I haven't been in the shoes you are wearing, you definitely have the ability to bring your "bloggers" into a clear understanding of how you are feeling and how my heart just breaks for you guys! Tonight I sit at a computer in a hotel lobby because I just "had to check on you guys," but I also feel sad because I sat in this same hotel lobby 6 weeks ago, with the same anticipation to come and find out how BJ was doing. It is different this time, because I know how BJ is doing, He is doing GREAT, sitting in the presence of the Almighty, but maybe I felt today an itty bitty inkling of your reality day to day, because the moment I entered this hotel, I looked at my husband and said, the last time we were here, I was still "checking on BJ", somehow I wanted to sit down and log on and think everything was okay. I am soo sorry I am rambling, but gosh, I just hurt for you guys more than you can imagine but I also know that GOD has his hand of protection on you and it is so evident that he is holding you and ministering to you in ways that are in turn ministering to all of us. Thank you for your example of obedience. Love to you all and I pray you have a sweet weekend together.

 
At 10:00 PM, Anonymous kristin dutt said...

I remember eating w/BJ. it was like..one of the high points in his day! I remember shortly after we returned i was talking to him, and he said something about it being odd just eating w/you guys..that there weren't 19 other people there w/him. Meals were such a monumentous thing for him!
Thanks for making us laugh today..

still prayin..still missing him..still loving Him

~kristin

 
At 10:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you God for the change that you have worked in Brent's heart in the past 7 days. It is still hard, and going to be hard, yet there is a new sense of calmness and another lever of acceptance. We praise You! And especially be with them as they attend church tomorrow morning. May they hear BJ playing the guitar in Heaven.
Amen!

 
At 11:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Julie Meils-
I hope you all had a good day.
My prayers are always with you!!!
Even If it means me sounding like a ballon full of air!!!My prayers are always there. I love u.Birthdays thay can take a lot of air out of u!!!!!-
Julie Meils

 
At 9:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

May you find peace and comfort this morning as you worship. Love to you all!

 
At 12:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My husband sang this song, written by a friend of his (he has adapted the first four lines) at a recent funeral. Of course, I thought of BJ as well as many of our blog family's dear ones who have gone on ahead. We miss them so much, but we would never want to take them away from the glory they're experiencing with Him.

This song was shared at golfer Payne Stewart's memorial service--if you can ever listen to it, you should, as the music is beautiful, too.

Brent and BJ are right: make sure you know about Jesus--we want to meet in heaven one day!


IF YOU COULD SEE ME NOW

I know you've had some questions;
It's very plain to see.
While I have come into this place,
That He prepared for me.
No one’s in a hurry;
There’s no schedule to keep;
We’re all enjoying Jesus;
Just sitting at His feet.

If you could see me now;
I’m walking streets of gold.
If you could see me now;
I’m standing tall and whole.
If you could see me now;
You’d know I’d seen His face.
If you could see me now,
You’d know the pain’s erased.
You wouldn’t want me to
ever leave this place.
If you could only see me now.

My light and temporary trials;
Have worked out for my good.
To know it brought Him glory;
When I misunderstood.
Though we’ve had our sorrows;
They can never compare;
What Jesus has in store for us;
No language can share.

(Repeat Chorus one time)

If you could see me now;
I’m walking streets of gold.
If you could see me now;
I’m standing tall and whole.
If you could see me now;
You’d know I’d seen His face.
If you could see me now,
You’d know the pain’s erased.

If you could see me now;
I’m walking streets of gold.
If you could see me now;
I’m standing tall and whole.
If you could see me now;
You’d know I’d seen His face.
If you could see me now,
You’d know the pain’s erased.
You wouldn’t want me to ever leave
this perfect place.
If you could only see me now.
If you could see me now.
If you could only see me now.

Lyrics by Kim Noblitt
Music performed by Truth


Praying in pink,

Pieper Family
Charleston, SC

 
At 12:55 PM, Blogger Danzeisen5 said...

How quickly the little ones are growing up around me and how often I look at them and think - do I even know you? Who are you becoming?
I would love to be able to go back to the times I missed with BJ because we moved so far away and relive them - to know him and the girls even better. I hold dear to each memory I have and find myself looking at pictures to bring back those memories and share them with Joshua and Emily. You all are so dear to us - we are praying for you this weekend and hope you have enjoyed your time with Lauren - and hopefully Whitney is there too?? I'm sure you are holding on dearly to the times with them and that your relationships will only grow deeper as they grow into their "new lives". My prayer for you today is that the bond between the four of you will stay strong and grow with each new season and that you can all share Jesus' love with one another during this time. Oh how thankful I am that God has given us family to show us His love for us!!
I pray that we - your family and friends - will be Jesus' hands and feet to show you His comfort and love.
We are sending our love.....
Lynae
PS - Elsie J and Sam say Hi!

 
At 1:24 PM, Blogger AJ said...

I wonder if BJ looked for the most expensive thing on the menu or the most adventurous? (Which usually just happens to be the most expensive, wouldn’t you know!)

Again, BJ and my son Mitch are different in many ways, but their quirks are similar. Including their propensity for picking expensive culinary adventures.

So, it makes sense that a sword is for adventurers, right? I won’t go into detail – but we did get the sword and it was a good, affirming gift. We pray Mitch gets the deeper message, but as you pointed out - it can be there without us even knowing it. (And despite the fact that within minutes he was begging us to let him go into his sleeping brother's room and torment him.;-) )

There was another, unplanned initiation into manhood this week. We also found out that Mitch’s grandpa has an aggressive form of cancer.

So, as you said… it’s about how we handle things and our surrender to God’s work through our experiences, and even our failures. It's like He cuts a gem of many facets, so it reflects His light in a plethora of ways. And maybe that’s the best way to get people to take a closer look in order find Him. That's what I see Him doing with your family.

Jesus peace...
AJ

 
At 4:44 PM, Blogger Ashley Darnold said...

Family,

I remember eating squeezers with BJ. It took him the entire time to make his sandwich JUST RIGHT! He would carefully put on the Peanut butter, then carefully put on the Jelly! Then he would gently put his bread together! It had to be perfect. By the time he finished making his sandwich, everyone else was done! H e would always be the last one to finish!It was great!

Still praying! Love you!
Ashley Darnold

 
At 4:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

thankyou, that was very encouraging to read

 
At 6:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hallelujah, glory be to our great god!

praying that he will continue to fortify you and strenghten you in your weakest moments. knowing other people who have gone through the type of grief you are experiencing, it is so amazing to me that god has given you this "outlet" to be comfortable talking about bj, your frustrations, god's word and the like. it has been awesome to know that your faith is continuing to be strengthened and not weakened through this experience. we are praying for you all over the world!

 
At 8:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for your continued writing and sharing with us what you are learning each and every day. I continue to pray for you and your family. May God bless this week and may we all be fully open to what he has to teach us each day.

Heidi

 
At 8:42 PM, Anonymous Kandi said...

Just wanted to let you know that during BJ's illness and stay in the hospital we began to find opportunities to share about Christ with a friend. I believe that seeds were planted during this time. She accepted Christ as her Savior last night. I am just praising the Lord today for this new believer. Brent, Deanna, Lauren and Whitney we love you and are constantly lifting you up in prayer.
Kandi

 
At 9:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the post! BJ has taught us all alot, even those who never met him.
Have you yet received the pictures of the tree planting?
May the Lord bless your week and strengthen you daily!
Indianapolis

 
At 9:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dad,

I'm so glad that I got to see you this weekend at Highland Lakes, although I wish that I could have been able to talk to you more... I am touched that you were touched by me asking how you were and that it was important to you... i just wish that there was so much more i could do for you and your family. It just feels like saying im sorry and that i miss bj and stuff like that doesnt even compare to the way you are feeling...Just know that im here for you and i cant wait to see bj again someday. And i hope to keep seeing you... and i appreciate that you remember me and thanks for caring! p.s. first time at jam, it was a CRACKER you stuffed in my face, it was a strawberry at beej's celebration. and if you would like, you can write me at pinkiceangel_17@earthlink.net.

love,
Robin

 
At 10:36 PM, Blogger Tina Rosenberry said...

It's 10:30PM here in Houston (Deer Park), TX. Your family was in my thoughts and prayers today especially after our home group at Dan (Deanne's brother) and Jolene Tucker's home. Please know that we pray for your family as a group every Sunday. We love you and thanks for serving the Lord.

Go Astros!!!

 
At 12:26 AM, Blogger tochina4emma said...

Just wanted to let you all know you are still in my thoughts and prayers! I constantly recall examples you've shared from BJ's life for my own life or for the youth I lead.

May God continue to comfort your family,
Stacy in KC

 
At 1:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Brent and Deanna,

Im really enjoying getting to know more about your lives with BJ. So many things related to parent child relationships are common to us all and bring a smile to our faces. You continue to uplift me and my family.

Praying you through the pain,
Lynne in Gray, Ga.

 

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