Wednesday, October 12, 2005

It is amazing now, how precious life seems to me, yet so difficult. I seem to wake earlier each morning to Natalie Grant singing to me (yet my I-pod is off, and no stereos are playing). I hear her voice over and over and over. Her song "Held" ministers deeply, but I want her to stop waking me up to sing it. Will someone please tell her I have the cd, and she can rest now? What a voice, what a ministry.

I fancy myself an outdoorsman. I love being outside- hiking, backpacking, ultimate frisbee, snow skiing even studying nature- it brings me pleasure. I tend to think metaphorically, and everything relates back to words from these experiences. This is that 'trail' that is rated 'difficult' or 'most difficult' that noone really enjoys going down (at least not average guys like me), but you know you just have to.

The thing is, BJ was a thrill-seeker! He loved doing stuff on the edge! Some of you know this, but this past summer while on a mission trip in Kentucky, they were staying at a Baptist Camp there. Well there was a lake, and there was a cliff with a 30' drop. Guess where Beej wanted to be? He begged for permission to dive off. Our most intelligent pastor denied him, but he persisted. He was hungry for the experience and to be able to say I did it!

BJ has always (well almost) been a young man who would ultimately be respectful, and mind. No matter how much he longed for it, and begged, he would relent if the answer remained, "No."

When Beej and I hiked or backpacked, I would wisely follow the trails marked. He would routinely venture off of the trail, but remain within eyeshot or earshot (I don't think that is a word), and go storming down steep wooded or rocky ravines, running mind you, just to see if he could stay up and reach the bottom. He frequently reached 'bottom,' just not the way he hoped.

He invented new sports, too. Have any of you ever been "tree sliding?" That is where you get bored sitting around a campfire (after a long days hike), so you find the steepest, deepest bank, find a fallen tree (or in some cases knock over dead ones to suit your gamesmanship), and then slide down the tree from top to bottom on your backside. What a thrill! He would shriek with pleasure.

It didn't matter that these were the only shorts he brought, or that they no longer resembled shorts when he was finished. He drank deeply from simple things, and expressed joy as a byproduct!

He was the same in spiritual matters. How he loved studying God's Word. How frequently he was moved by it. How often the by products were joy, passion, mercy, enthusiasm, peace, etc. He would run through passages at breakneck speed, and then stop and retell the story in his mind over and over, until he got it. I wish, I had given him more opportunities to speak of what he learned. It was never that I didn't want to know, it was usually, how much time did I perceive that I had to listen. I never thought I had enough, turns out I was right.

Enjoy God's Word, and the pleasures therein. Drink deeply from the words, the compassion, the presence of our Lord, and His healing touch. He loves you, despite your mistakes, and shortcomings. He holds you up when you don't know it. I even think he tells stories about you around the campfires in heaven. Just pray that the "tree of life" isn't near a steep bank or dead, cause the fire will sit alone, and Beej will be leading the way down.

I love you,



At 7:22 AM, Blogger . said...

Good morning!

Still checking -- still praying....

At 7:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope this day brings peace to all of your hearts. Prayers for everyone.

At 7:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brent, I love reading your words because they are both beautifully constructed and formed deep in your heart. Your ability to form thoughts, especially at this difficult time is somewhat amazing to me as I find I have been struck dumb to a large degree by the events of the past 2 months.

It may be that your gift of writing (which I know you humbly deny) is just one of the blessing that comes from BJ's life - but I know that you have always been a thinker.

I am still processing all the events of the past weeks, as I know many are. That you can so crisply grab thoughts and moments and put words to them - metaphorically or otherwise - is indeed a gift I know you will be using more of in the coming days.

I love you, I love you all and wish I could take the hurt away for even a moment.


At 7:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow. What a wake-up call you had for us this morning, Brent--and BJ!

Thanks for another side of your precious son and another picture of an abundant life. His propensity for danger reminds me this morning that he carried his risk-taking to an even higher level than the tree-sliding sport. The witness throughout this blog and throughout BJ's life on earth shows that he dared to share the gospel--with policemen in a market square in Peru, with his friends over IM, Xanga, and e-mail--with VBS kids in Kentucky--with many who listened and turned toward the One true God as well as with those who shook their heads, rolled their eyes, and looked the other way. [If you were one of those--it's not too late!]

Father, use BJ's reckless passion for you, his extreme faith, to direct and unite our hearts to share you with those in need. Put people in our pathways today who need you, God--and give us the boldness of BJ. Encourage his family with the knowledge that their son has a living legacy in each one of us, in all of those who are even now "taking his place."

in the radical name of Jesus,

Marti for the Pieper Family
praying in RADICAL pink in
Charleston, SC

At 7:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Higgins family~

Thank you so much for continuing to minister to us through this website. The word is still getting out and it is an amazing testimony of how great God is to see you still strongly praising Him through this difficult time of transition. Also, thank you so much for sharing little stories about BJ, he definetly was an adventurous guy. We could never keep his Peru costume in one piece!

Still Praying~

Chapel Hill, NC

At 7:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I loved this blog! So many different ways to think about things! Still praying for you!
Lots of love,
Lauren Szabo

At 7:56 AM, Blogger Danzeisen5 said...

These precious memories will be held dear in our hearts for always. Thanks so much for sharing them with us all. Thanks for letting him be daring - that is such a good example to all of us as to how we should let our children be themselves - we never know what God is going to do with those personality traits. BJ's boldness and daring won many to Christ, even if it did destroy a few shorts.
I pray for a peaceful day in your household today and peace in your hearts wherever you are. I pray you enjoy these sweet memories of BJ and they bring you some joy.
Love you so much

At 8:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is most difficult for me to articulate my love and grief for your family, and yet you comfort us who want so much to comfort you!! God's gift continues to give through you and your words of His presence in your time of need. Thank you for sharing. I pray you have a blessed day full of peace! I believe Marti (fellow blogger) said it best.

At 8:24 AM, Blogger the leaf family said...

Good Morning Higgins Family,
I have been thinking of you since early this morning..
I think and pray of your family often.
I often think of you all when I am listening to music..
This particular song is one that often has made me think of BJ..
(this was actullay written for Cassie Bernall)

Michael W. Smith
"This is your Time"

It was a test we could all hope to pass, But none of us would want to take.
Faced with the choice to deny God and live, for her there was only one choice to make.

This was her time,
This was her dance,
She lived every moment,
left nothing to chance.
She swam in the sea,
She drank of the deep
embraced the mystery of all that she could be.
This was her time

Though you are mourning and greiving your loss, death died along time ago.
Sollowed in life so that life carries on,still its so hard to let go.

This was her time,
This was her dance, lived every moment,left nothing to chance.
This was her time.
Embrace the mystery of all she could be.

What if tomorrow,
and what if today?
Faced with the question
Oh, what would you say?

This is your time,
this is your dance,
live every moment,leave nothing to chance.
Swim in the sea, drink from the deep.
Fall on the mercy and hear yourself pray.
This is your Time

With all our Love and prayers from KC-Tracy

At 8:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So often we come hoping to offer some words of compassion and comfort. More often than not we are the ones who are encouraged and blessed!
I will continue to pray that God will continue to comfort you all and give peace through your grief.

At 8:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love reading your words. Thank you for continuing to be faithful to us and ministering to us even though I'm sure it's bittersweet for you. We love you!

At 9:05 AM, Blogger Piechockis said...


Thank you for sharing more of BJ with us. Tears stream down my face as I read. I think of your family often and am praying constantly for peace and understanding for everyone.
Nope, never heard of tree sliding and I'm not sure I would ever want to try it. I'm just hoping Racquel and Mitch don't check the blog today because they would think that it was just way too cool and have to give it a try.
Thank you also for demonstrating your willingness to place BJ in God's hands with his wreckless youthfulness. Sometimes I want to hold on to my kids too tight and I don't always let them experience the things they desire. In essence I am not trusting God with them or what the Lord has planned for them. Continue to share with us and we are all learning from BJ and yourself on so many different levels.

Love you guys! Still praying!


At 9:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keep writing... Your words are so up-lifting...

bf in sc

At 9:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Brent,

As many have said, your words are so meaningful and well-timed for many of us to hear...

I have read a book recently, and am re-reading it now with our Bible study home group, called "Dangerous Wonder," by Mike Yaconelli. He describes and advocates the kind of child-like faith and wonder that most of us Christians have lost, and that obviously BJ still possessed and lived out. I lost this "wonder" in my life with God (and well, with life in general) a long time ago, and seem to be able to experience it only on rare occasions. I've been convicted to make a change, though it's difficult to make radical, life-changing change! Don't we (I) often SAY the right words many times, then LIVE something quite contrary??? I tend to verbalize that I care for people, then often never seem to find the time to express it to them directly, or to put action to my intentions.

Over the past few months, I've sensed it, and now I am very sure, that a career change is in my very near future. Recently I told Dan that my job is "sucking the life out of me..." We'll be selling our business and I'll be switching to a social work, or ministry type job of some kind in the next few months. It's difficult for me to leave the known and somewhat comfortable, to reach for fulfillment in doing what God has called me to do, but I can see that I will be so much happier being who GOD wants me to be. We're confident that the right opportunity will be presented at the right time, and are praying daily that I will indeed make the right decision, and be able to discern that perfect opportunity when it presents itself.

Thanks for the confirmation that living life to the fullest (every day), experiencing the joy that God WANTS us to experience, is the SUCCESS that we all should pursue.

Lord, forgive me for keeping you at arm's length for much of my life, and continue to help me grow to be more like a child...

Love, Jolene
Deer Park, TX

At 9:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been thinking of you all and praying for you as you adjust to your new normal, which sure isn't what you wanted and isn't very comfortable and probably won't be for a long time.

Deanna, the words you wrote about sometimes feeling angry that "normal" life goes on for others really hit home for me. 3 years ago, we almost lost our son, Jack, in a near-drowning accident at our local pool. He was 5 at the time. He was found at the bottom and still had a heartbeat but his pulse was down to 52. We had been searching for him. Anyway, the good news is he is fine today but I remember so well struggling for so long afterward with how much that experiece and the images I had in my head were bothering me. People also said some of the most hurtful and just plain idiotic things that didn't at all bring comfort. To this day, I still can't watch cartoons/movies, anything that shows someone struggling in the water.

Please understand, that I am not saying I know how you are all feeling because I don't. We came close to losing Jack but we didn't and even though we had to grieve through that traumatic experience it is obviously much different than what you are going through. But I do feel that the "new normal" took a long time to feel okay.

Please know I think of you all throughout the day, everyday, and pray for you every time I do. I wore my shirt on Monday and couldn't wait for someone to ask me about it so I could share's God's love and BJ would have wanted me to one asked and I was really bummed. I'll keep trying though!

Blessings, hugs and love to you all.


At 9:32 AM, Blogger Melissa said...

Thank you so much for sharing more of BJ with us. I love hearing the stories and feel like it helps me get to know him better. I think about you all daily and pray for you constantly. You are not forgotten by any of us!!

At 9:37 AM, Blogger Kim Mierau said...

your postings make me smile, although my heart aches for you. my prayers are always with you. thank you again for giving us the joy of having lauren. love *kim

At 9:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It has been such a spiritual growth to read and redirect my life with BJ's writings. It has also been uplifting, encouraging and motivational to read yours as well. I know that alot of BJ's writings are from diving in the word and his relationship with the Lord but I also think that he must get a lot of it from you as well. Not only by genetics but the lives that you have lived. The Godly influence as parents and as followers. Keep writing. It continues to help me to "get it".

Deanna, I hope these past couple of days at home by yourself have been a special time of healing. I continue to lift you up to the Almighty Healer of everything. Holly and Katelyn continue to lift your family up in every prayer.
We love you.

Lauren and Whitney,
Didn't want you to think that I could every forget the two of you! My prayer is that your week has been and will continue to be a beginning of a "new normal". Isn't it awesome to be able to share all of the great stories that you have with your brother. Maybe some of those stories will enspire families to build on their relationships!!

Rebecca Littell

At 10:01 AM, Blogger Terri and Fam said...

BJ has spoke of his passion for God. He has reached many. As you read through the many people that are reading these updates and that have prayed for your family. God's plan may not have been for him to use his own voice but the journals he has left behind and those words speak volumes of his love for God! His true passion. We are so grateful for you sharing them with us.

At 10:11 AM, Blogger Aunt Maralyn & Uncle Ray said...

What a great way to start my day by reading your writings. I agree with Brad, you have a special way of writing. It speaks to me and I'm sure to all of us. I'm sure you could write a book about BJ. I know you will be a big help to the one that is writing the book.
I sat here reading and could just see BJ sliding down the hill and all the other things you wrote about. I could see and hear the smile and Whoop(is that a word).
Again I love you all and pray continually for all of you.
Aunt Maralyn

At 10:15 AM, Blogger Lynn Andrews said...

It is true - there is so much peace in the outdoors and nature! When you tell your stories, I can see such vivid pictures and it blesses me. I, too, enjoy the beauty of the woods. We live sort of in the country just outside the city. We only have 5 acres but it's mostly wooded and so beautiful! I just feel closer to Him when I'm here - away from all the chaos of the world. But, I have never tried tree-sliding! At my "mature" age, it would probably be hazardous to my health!

Like so many others, I have been so "affected" by your unselfish sharing of BJ and the faith of all of you. I find myself in certain situations at church or with friends and family when I think to myself "they just don't get it". And, it bothers me thatI don't know exactly how to help them open their eyes to see the big picture. I pray for the wisdom and the right words rather than be discouraged in spirit. You'll never know how much inspiration you continue to give us!

Praying that today and each day will be a little better for all of you. And, I haven't forgotten about Gramma either!

It would be so wonderful if, one day this side of Heaven, all of us here in the "gap" could get together with your family and all fellowship and praise God together!

Until then - keeping you all close to my heart!

Lynn Andrews
Macon, GA

At 10:23 AM, Blogger LisaTeegarden said...

Dear Precious Loved ones: I too have been hearing Natalie Grant and Held quite abit....and did buy the well as Mercy Me...and just got Billy Foote's too. What comfort these help well as memories. Your writings are so awesome, well as Deanna and Lauren. I know God is helping you we keep praying. I just came back last night from Brown Co with 6 dear friends...the kind you can be away from for years and get together and pick right up where you you never were apart. I took a "scrap" book of BJ along..and they shared and cried with was neat. We all had hurts and we were a support team...I needed this badly. As we passed the Martinsville signs...I prayed for and thought of you all. Our Croakin Frogs cabin was wonderful. How God has blessed us all with Nature. I love you guys and continue to pray often...Lisa

At 10:47 AM, Blogger joenjeanne said...

Dear Higgins Family,

I haven't responded with a blog entry in what seems like forever. I still log on multiple times daily but this whole thing has truly hit me speechless. I'm a true believer in that if you don't have anything good to say just don't say anything at all. So I haven't.

I guess what I wanted to convey today is that I'm sure there are hundreds like me who are still praying deligently but haven't responded but we simply have been dumbfounded and didn't know what to say.

The mass of people attached to this blogspot are still here and we are with you every step of the way.

Even though I've never met you, I'm prompted sometimes in the middle of the night to pray for you and care deeply for what your family is dealing with.

God Bless you Higgins Family.

At 10:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think it is obvious where BJ got some of his gifts and abilities in articulating his passions and experiences. I think I could listen to your stories for hours! We continue to pray God will bring more of those beautiful memories to mind and that you can apply them even today through encouragement for those of us who are hooked on this website!! We appreciate you so much! I also am thankful as you encourage all of us to take more time with those around us and listen!! Life is too short to not spend time with each other listening and learning from one another. I am blessed today by your words and I pray God will bless your family in return throughout the day as you continue to heal and recollect beautiful moments with your precious son.
Still praying,
Kayla Rice

At 11:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What you have shared throughout this whole experience has been very uplifting. I know that God is working through this website to let others know about Christ. Also, I know that it probably gives you such satisfaction to see how much your son's story has affected so many people. As you share the stories our hearts are lifted up and while you pain is slightly relieved.

I shared this website with the youth group at church and we are continuing to pray for you and your family! Thank you for all that you have done and continue to do. Grace, JG

At 11:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hello family
Praying for all of you to have a comforted day with many smiles and
continued peace growing in your hearts.
Thank you for sharing, you are all an inspiration and the way each one of you share your feelings and deep thoughts with us, WOW, we are truly blessed to continue being part of your lives, and you all lift me up too!!!
Thank you for sharing, I feel inspired to begin my writings again I've recently stepped away from.
Thank you all again and may we all find {and} or realise a new blessing through this day that we had not
recognized before.
I give Thanks to our Lord
Lisa Gresh/Meils
Indpls., IN

At 11:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I still check in several times a day and I am so excited when I see a new post. Thank you so ver very much for continuing to share with us. I continue to lift you all up every day and thanks again.

April C.
Odessa, Tx

At 11:30 AM, Blogger Lynn Dailey said...

Good Morning! What a joy to experience BJ through today's entry. It brought back so many memories of BJ on the playground at school when I had him in 3rd grade. He was definately the one to "rise to new heights"...usually on the monkey bars or on top of the slide instead of going down it! Ha! I never knew what he was going to try next! He was small for his age, so I often worried he would get hurt. He was always respectful and stopped whenever I asked him, but he was very creative and could find more ways to eventually accomplish his goal... "But Mrs. Dailey, you didn't say I couldn't...." ;)

Beej was and continues to be a true joy and a special friend. "I thank my God for every rememberence of him."

I continue to remember you all in my prayers throughout the day. May today be a blessing from the Lord.

My love,

At 11:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Family!! I am still praying and crying from time to time and I too hear the song in my sleep, I cried so much on Sunday when I watched the video of the funeral I had huge swollen eyes and That SONG !! AMAZING!!!!!!! so suited for the moment... God please guide us all through these most difficult days and long nights...

Randie Case (Taras Mom)
Peru 2005
Yukon, Oklahoma

At 12:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My routine when I get to work each day seems to always include checking this website. I am continually moved each day especially with the tender moments you share from your memories.
At the celebration service, I glanced at the pictures displayed and remembered the face of BJ as he was about 4. I was a member of Northside back then. So I really didn't know BJ. I received a phone message that took me away while I was in line to greet you after the service. I feel I have walked beside you even though you aren't as aware of my presence. God has so made impressions on me in the last months that I don't believe I will be the same. The living and dying for Christ has so been on my mind. Also BJ's desire not-to-know when God had used him. I left the celebration service so wanting to love the Lord and do something for Him and tell others about Him. I wanted a passion for Him that I was priveleged to get a glimpse of in BJ. I believe Natalie Grant's song was a gift from the Lord. I had been hearing it on the Christian radio over and over. I never quite listened to the words until the day before BJ's service. The tears flowed and I couldn't imagine better words to answer the question, "Why does God let horrible things happen?" And then of course the song was played at his service. I picked up the CD and was actually playing it here as I turned on my computer today. It was time to write. Thanks for everything.

At 1:49 PM, Blogger Mama Cross said...

I was hearing the Natalie Grant song, "Held" on the radio before BJ got sick. The song made me cry every time I heard it. When I heard the song while he was sick, I prayed, "Please, God, don't let this be about BJ. We want him to be healed." It seems as soon as BJ was gone, I began to hear the song played constantly on the radio. Your family has wise hands that open slowly to lilies of the valley (as mentioned in the lyrics). Thank you for not being bitter toward God over your loss.

Our small group was discussing prayer on Monday night. We talked for a while about BJ and why he was not healed though it seems thousands were praying for him. I believe prayer conforms our will to God's will rather than vice versa. He has obviously equipped your family to endure this trial, though to me it is unfathomable.

This whole saga has a unique combination of elements: a godly family, a young man with a remarkably close relationship to God, journals and written records of that relationship, a blog and a six-week illness. God has woven all these elements together to show the world something. He is sovereign and He chose to bring His beloved BJ home. In the process He has focused the minds and hearts of many on the urgent need to spread the gospel. BJ has become like a corn of wheat falling to the ground, a planted seed that will produce fruit. We won't forget his life, though it was brief, because God is calling many to follow BJ's example.

Be held,


At 2:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said... know, I was listening to "Homesick" this morning, by Mercy Me, and it reminded me so much of you guys and BJ.
It's so amazing to see the effect BJ's life and death has had on so many, myself included.
I was kinda in a backslide, but this has all put things in persepecitve for me...and I'm living more for Christ every's scary but so awesome at the same time.
God bless you as you continue to move forward. And may you continue to rely on God's peace and power.

With love in Christ,

Krystle M.
Nova Scotia, Canada

At 2:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

thank you for being a constant source of encouragment when you need the encouragement the most

At 2:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is so true! How many times have I just read the bible w/out much thought just to feel like I read it that day? It reminds me of all the people in countries like China, Russia, etc. who don't have the luxury of the Word as a daily accessable thing. Sometimes I wonder if we rely on other peoples perceptions and interpretation of the word (christian literature) too much when we really need to go back to the God-Breathed words of the Bible. That you for reminding me of that today.
I am so blessed by these daily thoughts and stories. The way God has been speaking to me and stretching me through the story of your son/brother, is such a blessing. The legasy left by BJ is amazing.
Higgins, you are such a blessing to me. I can't put to words just how much you have been.
Humbly praying,
<>< Haley
Phil. 1:3 "I thank my God every time I remember you."

At 3:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I went to hawaii and was gone for a week and the first thing i did was check out prayforbj, too see what i missed. I too, love reading your words and thoughts and are encouraged by what I read. I pray that you have a great and blessed day. Thank you for still writing messages, they encourage all of us. God bless you Dad. I wore my shirt while I went to the pool area or just to go snorkling. I had lots and lots of stares.

Bakersfield, calif

At 3:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

FYI: I knew that "earshot" was a word. However, even thought I consider myself a fairly decent wordsmith, I had never seen "eyeshot" before.

Guess what? I found it in my dictionary!
eyeshot: range of vision; view, "within eyeshot."

Just thought I'd, appropriately enough, inject something a little off the beaten path here (guess that would be--out of eyeshot!).

The immediate metaphor that comes to mind is that now, we see through a glass darkly, i.e., "out of eyeshot." One day, like BJ, we shall see face to face!

Continuing to pray in pink,

Pieper Family
Charleston, SC

At 3:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing with us this morning. Your words have touched my heart in a deep way.

At 4:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At 4:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

BJ's willingness and wanting to be God's was so inspiring and awesome.

i love ya'll...

OOOH. i just got the Natalie Grant CD a few days ago and looooove it... ive listened to it like a BILLION times...

beckie hutchison

At 4:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

when you said that about natalie grant waking you up w/that song..i laughed imagine Beej talking w/Jesus..and being like, "come on..lets wake him up w/this!" just to make you smile. i hope that brings you just an extra smile today. i love if you all as if you were my own family..

~kristin..KC..peru 2005

At 4:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey, i hear i missed you guys on tuesday for lunch! hopefully you guys can come to eat on the weekend when i work! ;) got my PINK prayforbj shirt yesterday!!! love always,

At 4:45 PM, Blogger Stay-C said...

So we kept waiting and waiting for our BJ shirts... couldnt figure out WHY we hadnt gotten them yet. Turns out they had been sitting in the mail box for 2 weeks, and someone neglected to check out Baptist building's mail box in addition to the PO box!!

So my friend Tara and I wore our shirts today, hers pink mine black, and wow all the questions... who is bj? who is b? on and on and on. And just the joy we got to share as together and individually we got to share BJs story and his love for the Lord and ultimate fight. It was great and i felt full of the Spirit! How blessed it was to be able to do that.. continuing to pray for the Family!!

Stacey T
U of South Alabama
Mobile Alabama

At 4:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello, forgive my absence of late. Brent, your words are so inspiring to me. The memories that you share and the insights you give about BJ's character bring out a BJ that only you could know. I wish I could take away all the hurt that comes through this, but pain, as do all other things, pass with time. I appreciate the little stories you all give of your memories with him. Here is one of mine. In the van on the way to Corbin, we were having a conversation about music, and BJ asked how my melanoma was coming. I told him I didn't have cancer. He said "No, that instrument you play in the marching band". I said" BJ, That's called a mellophone". we all had a good laugh at that point. I wish you all peace and comfort.

In Christ,

At 5:19 PM, Blogger Emily Jo said...

Hi dad,
Thanks for that sweet analogy. Thanks for reminding me to listen to my kids, even their little four and seven year old thoughts. I hope you are told often how lucky BJ was to have you as a dad. Because he was, and is. And your girls too. I am blessed by the continued friendship you offer to us all, even in these moments of your life. Know you are lifted up in our families prayers.
Emily Jo
Monrovia, CA

At 5:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't tell you how much this blog means to me. It's helped to invigorate my faith and remind me of my true purpose. Thank you.

Sam Williams

At 6:10 PM, Blogger isaiah said...

"I love you,


I think it is great you are conveying your emotions and love to BJ even now. I pray you continue speaking to him and allowing your emotions to flow from you out to him.

Our religious beliefs, yours and mine, are different- however this difference does not stop us from knowing BJ has only left his fragile body and is ever present in a paradise undiscribable.

Thank you for continuing to share your thoughts and the life that is (is) BJ.

Hilton Head Island, SC

At 7:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's my Beej! Oh how I miss him! I loved him dearly and always will. I was truly blessed to have him as a best matter how short the time was.

At 7:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

thank u so much for the posts! they up lift me! everyday after school, i get on the site to read it, beacuse i know it will be comfert to me. i pray for your family every night before i go to sleep. thank you so much for the posts!!!

At 7:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Brent and Deanna

I hope you two are doing well this evening, keep peace in your hearts,
and an abundance of strength prevail as you are moving through a changed
time in your life and painful adjustments as you move forward.
Dear Lord
I ask you keep your arms around all
Higgins family as they move forward
Dear Lord
Thank you for our Blessings.
In Jesus name I pray.
Lisa Gresh/Meils
Indianapolis, IN

At 7:54 PM, Blogger Barbara Ann said...

I just love to hear stories about always strikes some stories about sitting with him and chatting in Peru. Its amazing how they keep coming... You know one thing that he asked me to pray for when we got back from Peru, was the opportunity to share boldly with other people about what God did in Peru, and what God is doing in his life now, that he would still be a willing witness, and have those divine encounters. What an incredible prayer request! You ask why that incredible?? Well, its so incredible because, that prayer request is being answered as I write! His boldness for Christ is being shared all over the world. Divine encounters are happening all over the world as people share about his life, and the love of Christ. Because of his willing witness, others are learning to be more willing for Christ, just as Phillip was in the bible on the road to Gaza. I am just amazed at how from one prayer request from his heart, how God is answering so HUGELY!!!

Dad, Mom, and sisters..
Thanks for sharing from your heart. I just love to hear from you. You encourage me so much!

Miss, love, and praying for you...

Barbara Ann

At 8:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow! That passage is so moving and humbling. I thank you deeply for sharing from your heart and enjoy getting to know BJ more with each passage. I am saddened that I never met him but love to hear the stories and one day will love to hear him tell his stories. I am praying for you and your family. I love you all so much!

At 8:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey guys, its lizzy again! hehe.
well Clyde and i are singing this awesome song this sunday, actually we have sung it once, when we were kids! i just couldnt help but think of you guys. amazing, isnt it, that a song i heard so long ago is coming up again like this! God is an AWESOME GOD!

'Hear my prayer, oh Lord
From the ends of the earth i cry
Your peace will lead me to
A rock that is higher than i

For you have been my strength in times of trouble
A tower above my enemies
And Lord I will abide with you Forever
In the shelter of your wings.'

much amore!

At 8:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your words continue to touch me, all of the words from you Brent and the rest of your family. I shared BJ's story again with my Bible study group tonight. We were discussing what we need to do to serve our Lord. Boy, did BJ tell his story tonight. The challenge he gave all of us, and the challenge you continue to give us, might just move the world afterall. Brent you truly have a gift for putting your thoughts and the words of our Saviour right in the middle of our focus. You do have a gift. We thank God for your words that we know are God's words. However, you say them so well. We are all ordinary men and women who are called to do extraordinary things through the Holy Spirit. We continue to lift you up as we try to minister to you, but you continue to be the one who ministers to us. Love to the Higgins family.

At 9:05 PM, Blogger Ashley Reagan said...

I wish I had listened to BJ more in Peru. Wish I had gotten to know him even better than I did. Those are just some of the things I wish I had done, but there is no changing the past. Thanks so much for sharing about his adventures. I love you guys and miss you so much!

Ashley Dawn (peru 04)
Bixby, Oklahoma

At 10:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Higgins family,

I just read through a week's worth of your updates, and I have no words--I was so moved by your saddness, your memories of BJ, the funny stories you have about him. I am praying for you.

Ashley Rockenbach, Riverside, CA

At 11:32 PM, Blogger Nic and Jen said...

Dear Higgins Family,
We are still lifting you up in prayer. I check this site over and over again to see how you are doing. Your writings touch my heart every day. I am literally speechless when I read your writings, they just further glorify Christ and I am left speechless. We are praying for your family.
In Christ,
Nic and Jennifer

At 12:18 AM, Blogger a schmaltzee life said...

Hi guys...

Love the thougts and memories you have been leaving. I'm so glad we have this site to keep in touch!
Sure miss being there!

It's funny you should write about BJ...nature and his adventurous spirit.

Yesterday Landee was just telling me about a picture of BJ she saw when we were back there. It was from last summer at our reunion... Deanna had taken her and Bj hiking over by Devils Lake. Bj had climbed way up on a bolder...and Landee was scooting up right behind him...she said she isn't in the picture because Deanna was telling them to come down....they were gonna get hurt...and were going too far up. Landee said..."I could have made it mom...but I needed to listen to Aunt Deanna"

Now that I read your note..I see even more why her and Bj were fast friends and she had such a great time with him... adventure-ers at heart... I pray she will grow in the same thrill seeking adverterous heart for God and his word as BJ's life so greatly demonstrates to us! She loves the Lord and I'm thankful she has such a great example to follow!

Hugs to you all.
Marla & gang

At 1:37 AM, Blogger Linda Ronne said...

I listened to the song for the first time via BJ's celebration service, and of course the tears flowed. This evening I purchased the cd and am presently listening to it, and oh my those emotions come flooding back.
Thank you so very much for sharing your precious memories of Beej with us all. I can't begin to explain to you and Deanna and the girls how knowing Beej through this website has changed my life. Like so many others I will be forever changed.
Through your families openess to share your faith, your concerns and your memories and thoughts of Beej I have realised that I am not who I desire to be, and I'm sure not who the Lord desires me to be. I have a new and fresh hunger and passion for the Lord that just doesn't seem to be satisfied. Although that is my daily prayer, Lord give me a hunger for You and Your Word.
My husband and I are currently looking for residential care for our out of control 15 year old daughter, and I'm finding that the Lord is the only One I can cling to. I look and listen to your precious memories of Beej and long to have those with my daughter. But I have come to realise that I cannot do anything to change her, only the Lord is able. Again thank you,through your writting you give me hope.
You constantly remain in my prayers and the forefront of my mind. May God continue to bless you all with remberances of your precious Beej.

In His Love
Linda Ronne

At 6:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Linda R., you have blessed us many times with your thoughts and prayers. I agree--God has used this blog to renew and refresh my heart.

We will remember you and your family through this time of trial. I read just this morning about the prodigal and how the Father stood ready to welcome him back. Please know that He stands waiting for your precious daughter as well--even when she acts like the rest of us, insisting on her own way when the Father's would be so much better. We are praying!

Pieper Family for the blog family, praying in pink in
Charleston, SC

At 6:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good Morning! Just want you to know that I prayed for all of you this morning.
I pray that your family will have a good day.

At 7:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At 7:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Linda R.
I have been where you are now.
It is painful, and yes you are right,
you can not change your daughters out of control behavior, But you can change how you react to her behavior.
Days I was falling on my knees cring out to Jesus "HELP" and he did.
Alanon is a spiritual support group and church all helped emensly for all of us.
Sister in Christ

At 6:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow, waking up to natalie grant...sounds a lot like me right now. with God's help, i worked to find the good in all this, and one of the things that helped the most was that song: held. bj was amazing, as that tree-sliding story suggests. i love reading all these posts about him. it reminds me of this song, legacy. (i think) it goes, "i want to leave a legacy, how will they remember me?" and theres more, but i cant ever get the song on paper. beej totally and completely left a legacy. he has impacted so many. God calling him up to heaven affected so many. i heard random people at carmel hs talking about this kid, and how he died, and how he was such an amazing Christian. the talk is slowly dying down, but it still affected so many people that didnt even get to know him...its so amazing!!
God Bless,
sara hochgesang

At 7:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have to cry about this I mean ihe was only like what 15 or 16 i am not sure i to say it but it sucks that you lost your son or your brother, grandson newphew etc....

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