Saturday, May 13, 2006

Today, the most beautiful woman in the world, whom I love and married 23+ years ago is speaking to a ladies group. She is sharing from a place of pain and hurt that few understand or can relate to.

At this time, I am not there to support or encourage because I am 10 hours away, on my knees lifting her up. I must entrust her completely to His care. He alone has what she needs. He alone can offer the comfort, encouragement and support that a room of ladies need. It is my time to bow down, and allow Him to work.

Why is it that the time we seem to have the most to offer, is the time we have given up so much, and feel we have the least to give? I suppose because we must remain completely in need of Him. When we are at that most vulnerable point, then others can find depth and strength in what He has provided through our pain.

Sometimes that angers me. Sometimes that hurts in such a visceral way, that I cannot function. And sometimes, I do find that I can understand.

Lord God, pour your Holy Spirit through her pain, through her tears, through her place of discomfort.
Raise up a room full of enabled servants. Those willing to change what they can to further their own relationship with You and enable other to do likewise.

Please allow my bride to find moments of peace, joy, and comfort through her perpetual desperation.

I do not understand a Mother's love, but I do benefit from it.

Similarly, I do not understand why You love me, but you bless where ignorance resides, if my passion rests in You.

Lord, because of her pain, she is speaking for You. Use her Lord, and fill her. Comforter, I implore you to do what the Father sent you to do!

I know of my failure and unworthiness, but You have taught me of Your grace. It is from here that I seek and request your intervention. It is from here that I find peace.

Thank You Jesus, for providing it to her, and through her, as well!



At 2:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying for Deanna. Glad to hear that the two of you will see each other soon!

At 9:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am praying for you both tonight.

You all have been on my mind even more than usual this week, as we are facing a painful time in our family. My husband's favorite sister, with whom we were very close, stepped into glory on Wednesday after a year of battling cancer. She was only 45, and left behind two boys, 16 and 10.

It's been a tough week, and tonight, now that the visitation and funeral are over and family and friends have gone back home, the loss is hitting home a little more.

I want your family to know that the things God has spoken through you here over the last many months were an encouragement and a blessing to me over the last several days. I feel an even closer connection with all of you because of our shared loss, but also because of something else.

My husband and I were the ones who got to put together a dvd of photos of Carolyn to be played at her visitation and funeral. As I was trying to think of a song to play in the background, I thought of BJ's song - I Would Die For You. I bought the CD, and when I listened to it the first time, I knew it was *the* song.

Throughout the visitation, the DVD played over and over in one corner of the room, so I heard the song many, many times. The words are now written in my heart, and each time I hear it, I find myself thinking of both BJ and Carolyn. I can't help but wonder if they've met yet.

Thank you for being faithful to share with us the comfort that God has given you during the past 8 months. I pray that you'll be blessed in knowing that you, in turn, comforted us. Thank you!

Here is a link to the video.

Love in Christ,
Krista Meyer

At 10:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear God,
Please fill this dear man's heart with peace. It isn't fair, none of it. And people shouldn't expect his dear wife to have to share her pain on this weekend, yet, like he said - people that go through the worst are the ones sought out the most. Oh, it is because this world is filled with so much pain. So in the midst of her pain on this, her first Mother's Day without her son, and all alone too, fill her heart like only you can. She needs filled back up after pouring so much out! Bless them. And help people to be understanding of them and not expect so much.
Thank you Father!

At 6:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amen and Amen!

At 8:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was thinking of you today and I'm praying God will comfort you. Your family is amazing and such a blessing to us all.

Pat Davila

At 10:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

May God be glorified through all this. It cannot happen in vain - He will bring something good out of it! He already has by the sounds of the many posts on this site. It has been a pleasure to read and try to begin to grasp the magnitude of what is happening. It blessed me to hear the song of Mercy Me and to hear Bart talk on the DVD about how God has blessed this album. Thank you so much God!!

At 11:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a beautiful expression of love to your bride and to our Father. Deanna- my prayers are with you today that you may find comfort in sharing for the GLORY of His Name, through your pain.

At 2:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At 7:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We were so blessed to hear Deanna speak. Thank you Jesus for giving her the words to speak. She spoke to our hearts in such a graceful, beautiful way.

We will miss her sweet spirit. I am so glad that we were able to hear her speak of God's grace and how it is available to us, also.

I know God will use you Both to speak to many!

Thank you, Deanna for sharing your heart with us.

A friend at FBC

At 10:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Blogger Family,
Remember when dad told us about the couple from Campus Crusade at IU - Eric and Kelly Steffen? Eric has brain cancer, and I know many of you have been praying for them and their young family. Hundreds of people all over the world are praying for him, there is a 24 hr prayer chain, many of you may be on it. It appears that God may be choosing to take Erik to Heaven in the next few days. Please, Please keep this dear family in your prayers. You can go to to keep updated.
Thankful for the one who loves us most!

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