Thursday, October 21, 2010


Recently, I have heard from many who are going through struggles. I am thankful the Lord allows me to speak into their lives. I am thankful for the impact my sons life had on theirs, as well.

With her permission, I am quoting a letter I received recently. I think many can identify with the struggle, regardless of the area of giftedness. This young woman graduated from college with a degree in the arts. Her life has been invested heavily in theater. I know her from working with youth, in Indy.

It is never too late for us. He seeks to draw us nearer. We must submit to His Lordship.


im sitting here at 1:56 am and i can barely see the computer screen through the tears.

and all i can think about is talking to you.

i just got on the awe star website and was looking through pictures and videos and found the bj video.

I guess i should start from the beginning. You know that I have always had this passion for theatre and singing and using the gifts that God gave me, but i am not fulfilled. im here in New York, where ive always thought i should be, and everything feels so trivial and empty. I feel like there is something else i am supposed to be doing but i cant figure out what it is. Ever since bj's memorial service i have wanted to give this all up and spend my life taking bj's place. just like they asked us to do. but i didnt. and i cant help feeling like i should have. or like i should start now.

i thought i found a church, but as great as it is, they have no mission program whatsoever. i just didnt know really who else to talk to about this yearning inside of me. its something ive gotten very good at not listening to, or talking myself out of. things like, what do i do with my cat if i were to go on a mission trip ( ha i know but seriously little things like this are what change my mind) or telling myself that NYC is enough of a mission field. but its not. at least not for me.

i know that bj and i were never very close. but whitney used to always tell me that i was her sister. and i have this one memory in the room with the coke machines out side of the gym at northside, where he came up to me and looked me dead in the eyes and said "if whitney is your sister, then that makes me your brother!!!" and he got this huge smile on his face and gave me this amazing hug. and it is something that warms me all over every time i think of him. (of course the memory of you him rusty and others waking me up in my bedroom one morning and him climbing in bed with me and you both finding my stuffed shark and naming him mike is a very close second :) ) Ever since he died, i think of him, i talk to him, i keep the program from his memorial service close to me at all times. it used to be in the visor of my car and now is pinned up on the wall next to my bed. its like i know what i should be doing with my life and my gifts God gave me, but i just dont know if this is it.

anyway, every few months this overwhelming feeling comes over me that tells me i am supposed to be doing more for my Father than i am. i know that i am not the most perfect christian. far from it. but the need i have for this, or the feeling of a calling, is weighing me down so much.

i was wondering if there was anyway, there was anything i could get involved in with awe star. my lease is up here next july. i just know i need to do something more. more than this.

i need to get uncomfortable again. uncomfortable for Christ.

im sorry if this is a lot, or too much. i just know you are someone i can talk to about this.

Thanks :) ."

I find myself weeping as I read her words. I can identify with her pain. I also remember the times of her reflection... they warm me as well!

As long as there is a breathe in our lungs, it is NEVER too late to begin to use our area of giftedenss for Him!

Won't you join her? Won't you join me, in "getting uncomfortable for Christ?!"



At 8:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

God Bless,

At 12:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you Brent. <3
Katie Waddles


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