I must tell you that each morning as I arrive at the computer, I come with a relentless ache, and have no idea what to say. I just know I want to say something, as it has been therapeutic to share. The Lord always provides.

When BJ was 13, he developed an interest in swords. Largely due to "Lord of the Rings" I believe. During his first Peru trip, he had opportunity to fill in as the "Knightmare" (Satan figure), as Michelle had been stung by a jellyfish and could not fill that role. His writings of that situation, reflected such compassion for Michelle, he seemed to know how much she wanted to participate, and the fact that she could not, was devastating.

As a result, he got to participate in swordplay (well actually it was pvc pipe but I'm not sure the difference mattered to him). There is a place in the drama, that the Christ figure and Satan, battle through a swordfight. BJ was hooked. He loved that role. He practiced it, taught it, and I would see him shadowslicing when noone was around.

For his 15th birthday we gave him two things. A well equipped stereo, and a sword. The stereo, interestingly, matched his room. It also had the capability for his x-box game system to be wired through it to give much fuller sound.

The morning of his birthday, we put his two gifts in front of his closed bedroom door. We sang Happy Birthday from outside his room. Normally, we'd serve breakfast in bed, but on this day, we chose to let him sleep. He heard us, but did not get up at that point. A few minutes later we heard his door open, and he exclaimed! The stereo box was large. He could not get out of his room until he moved it or opened it. The sword package lay inconspicuously on top.

He opened his gifts and was elated. After opening the sword, I told him that providing him with a sword was symbolic of his leaving his adolescence behind, and entering into manhood. He thanked me and that was it...I thought. Recently we found a writing of that moment. He described the two gifts and their significance to him. Though he loved the stereo, when he saw the sword package his heart leapt with anticipation. He was hoping it was, but then talked himself down, and said, "where would they find a sword?" Upon opening it, his emotions lifted. He wrote that he was thrilled. He went on to explain that this passage into manhood was huge to him. That his parents would view him this way, was enormous.

He gave the sword a place of honor in his room. He would often pull it out when he was struggling spiritually and manipulate it through the air as if to slice through the enemies attack. It's significance was further elevated when we found the writing (which can be found on a previous post) that begins "Self, I will not be satisfied..." The lines in this writing were penned 22 days after receiving the sword. "I will memorize scripture again, and read Christian books again, and spend more time in the Word. I will unsheathe my sword and stop playing (only) defense in this war. It is time to raise a revolution."

This was representative of His manhood, but was wielded as the "sword of truth" (his Bible). Just as Beej spent time honing his skills in swordplay, he increased his time in the Word, and he was prepared for battle...for the ultimate sacrifice...to lay down his life.

Upon his death, his sword and writing were on display along with his Bible at his Calling and Celebration.

During the Celebration, Walker Moore extended a call, asking "Who will take BJ's place on the mission field?" Before the last word was uttered, I caught a glimpse of my 6 year old nephew Joshua, violently waving his raised hand from the front row. Josh was BJ's favorite cousin. They had spent hours with light sabers (from Star Wars) splaying each other, and saving the world! Beej adored him.

Joshua went forward with his daddy to take BJ's place. When asked if he knew what it was that he was doing, he responded assertively, "I'm taking BJ's place on the mission field so I can tell others about Jesus, because they don't know Him!"

Joshua has an anointing on his young life. He nearly died as a baby, but was spared through surgery on his heart/aorta. He bears the scars, but not the pain. Perhaps Walker, Joshua might be the last missionary.

BJ's sword now resides with Joshua. More importantly, the Spirit of the Lord rests with him. Pray for Josh. He bears the Cross of Christ, and he will wield his sword!
BJ was the last man to carry on the Higgins name, and while Joshua does not carry that name, he does bear the Name of Christ.

I love you Joshua,

dad (uncle brent)