Monday, October 17, 2005

Trying to negotiate the perils of the anger side of grief is most humbling. I find I want to smash something. Deanna offered up her body for this purpose, but quickly withdrew (Do you think she saw the psychotic look in my eyes?). It scares me to feel this way. I ran, but did not escape the quarrel in my mind. I have been antsy. Unable to sit down and study/read. Seemingly incapable of even being civil at times. This is not me...not normally (at least not after my fix of coffee).

Beautifully, the Lord knows this, and sent some close friends to help. (Thanks Elsie jay and Carol). They just spent time talking, a distraction from the trek through the frustrations of loss, at least for a while. How precious and beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news! (even though they were dotted with paint splatter)

It was difficult to return to our church home. Not because of lack of support from our church family, that was present in abundance. It seems memories are tied with every step. The pew we sat in as a family. The missing bass guitar line in worship. The vacancy on the platform. The weekly request for a pen to take notes during the message. The waiting in the car after church for him to return. Graciously, our brothers and sisters in Christ were most understanding, welcoming, and loving. Thank you FBC!

When BJ was about 9, we decided to get a dog. We visited several animal shelters in the process. We loved on many dogs over those few days. The last shelter we visited, something odd happened. As we walked the dank, noisy kennel aisles, BJ sat down in front of one. He was looking into the eyes of a half australian shepherd, half basenji, 6 month old pup. He would not budge. He insisted that this was the
dog. He did not want to look anymore. We had played with many others, and found that many were more interested in other dogs than being with us. Not this dog. He ignored all else. It seemed he and Beej had made a connection. We took him home. His name is Dakota. He does not understand where BJ is. He visits his room many times and sniffs the air for his scent.

Oddly we have done the same thing. Trying to find an article of clothing that smells like BJ. Perhaps to help us remember, or to bring comfort, possibly just to try and feel him close one more time. We have found nothing (unless a stinky sock cap counts). I think I know why. I think it is because Beej, like Shadrach, Meshack, and Abednego did not come out of the fire of trial smelling like smoke...but carrying the aroma of Christ alone.

I continue to thank our Almighty Father in Heaven for each of you.

Ashley R. and Kayla please know that Deanna and I are lifting you up. We love you girls.

dad


(Marla, are you going to send me that picture of the tree planting, or do I have to come to California to get it? Can't wait! Thanks!)

63 Comments:

At 7:25 AM, Anonymous brett Floyd said...

Still prayin'...

-bf in sc

 
At 7:40 AM, Blogger Piechockis said...

We love you all and are still praying.

Colleen

 
At 7:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good Morning Brent and Deanna,

God is so good!! I went to bed last night with you both on my heart, thinking of just the exact things that you are speaking of. I think that my mother in law spent the first six months after my father in law's death with her face in his sock drawer. This was the drawer that he kept his cologne in and she would open it just to smell him.

The anger and frustration is normal and is part of the grieving process. One of the options open to you, that both my Mother and Mother in Law found helpful after the death of their spouses was a grief group sponsered by our local Hospice.

We as your extra family can console and encourage, but we still do not quite understand the depth and strength of your grief.

Deanna, I am praying that you day will be full of hugs, love, laughter, and tears as you prepare to go back in to your class room.

What a mighty God we serve. That His eye is ever on the sparrow.

Praying for you all,
Sallye

 
At 7:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying for you today!!!

So sorry..........

 
At 7:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Brent and Deanna,
Please, Please find comfort in knowing that these feelings are normal. You will not be able to concentrate (read/study) for several months. You will feel like you are in a fog. What you must remember is that it is OK - you are not going crazy, you are not losing your mind. Some day you will suddenly realize that the fog is lifting. For now, keep holding on tight to each other, to God, to your friends. Buy a punching bag and use it! Write down how you feel and save it. And do not be afraid to call your doctor for a sleep aid, or possibly a low dose of something to help. That is ok too. It is temporary. The stages of grief are real. The anger stage is so difficult for Christians to sometimes handle because we feel we shouldn't be angry. Yet, God created us and developed within us these stages.
Above all else, know that hundreds are lifting you up before the Father daily! How would we survive without HIM!!
Praying much for you both,
from a blog friend who understands the pain.

 
At 8:09 AM, Anonymous marissa balog said...

still praying everyday.
-marissa

 
At 8:10 AM, Anonymous martin [sydney au] said...

WOW dad!

I'm so cut to the heart by what you're going through. If I could I would give you myself to beat the daylights outta if I knew it could help.

Last year my Dad died of cancer (he was 71) and then 2 weeks later a dear friend died of a heroin overdose. The first was bad enough and sent my life to the crapper (hope you all don't mind that word) but the second one added to my Dad did me in for about 4 months. I couldn't focus on anything and just felt so empty inside. I didn't persist with pressing into God like I knew I should have and I might as well have been on an island. It's such an aweful place to be but fortunately no matter where we go, there He is, praise His Holy name!

Well I'm doing fine now and enjoying a great relationship with my Lord, but I just wanted to share with you that I love you and really feel for what you're going through and will be praying that you'll walk closely with Him and allow Him to have his way in all things.

Please be strong and courageous dad and keep your eyes on the Potter. He's done with the clay called Beej as He saw fit, now surrender and let him mould you into something beautiful.

Lots of love and prayers from DownUnder,

martin
[sydney au]
martin@malleeblue.com

 
At 8:19 AM, Anonymous Kailey (Gulf Shores, AL) said...

Still Praying.

***********************************

Abba,
Please be with the Higgins family today. Hold them in the hollow of your hand. Jesus, please give them the strength to make it through today. Thank you for being who you are. We love you so much.

***********************************

Love,
Kailey

 
At 8:24 AM, Anonymous lauren said...

Wow, I forgot all about that California picture! I'll remind Marla for you, next Tuesday at Bible Study.
still praying for you!
Lots of love,
Lauren Szabo
Eninitas, CA

 
At 8:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Brent, Deanna, Lauren and Whitney,

Thank you Brent, for sharing so honestly with us. We have a desire to know your suffering. We care for you guys, and to be more aware of what your are experiencing leads us to prayer.

The apostle Paul voiced it so well when he said to the church at Rome, "I want us to help each other with the faith we have. Your faith will help me and my faith will help you." (Rom. 1:12 NCV)

Another verse that spoke to me this past week is Psalm 126:5 (NIV): "Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy."

We all will continue to sow, anticipating, believing and knowing that the harvest will come. I love you guys so much. I pray that it will be possible for me to spend some time with you soon.

Dan
Deer Park, TX

 
At 9:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Still praying...

 
At 9:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Brent & Deanna,
I look forward to hearing from you guys each day, to see what God has done in your lives, to hear more precious memories. I am often at a loss of words because I cannot understand your pain as a parent losing a child, so I just pray but don't write. I still check on you daily though and pray for you guys all of the time. As you listed the things that you missed at church, my heart just hurts for you because yes, all those little things we take for granted, you would gladly be able to do again with Beej. :( Thank you for reminding us to cherish even the little things. Our family is also rescuers of the sweet little dogs in shelters. We have found 2 of the best dogs that way!
I cannot describe the changes that have taken place as I have been on this journey with you the past 2 months but it has given me such encouragement and many new perspectives. We spent the weekend listening to Billy and Cindy Foote - Not a God. Last night on the way home from church, Whitney our 2 year old was singing along at the TOP of her lungs, every word of the song (it was almost screaming but straight from the heart) anyway, it continues to minister to me that "..in the good times and bad He is on his throne and He is God alone..." I think this song plus many others will be forever linked to your family! We love you.
Kayla Rice
Okc,OK

 
At 9:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

God, we come to you this a.m. and lift our brother and sister up to you as they go about their day at the camp and Deanna at school today. We pray they will each sense your presence and that you will give them new hope today to draw strength from. God I pray that in the good times and bad, they will know you are on your throne and you alone are the God that loves them and cares for them even in this difficult time. God we know you will carry them through. Help them to draw close to one another and Lord, please protect their marriage as we know losing a child can be very hard on marriages because of the vast differences in the way that people deal with the pain. God please wrap your loving arms around them and make that union even closer and tighter than ever before. Please place a hedge of protection also around Lauren and Whitney as they are away at school and work, remind them of your incredible love for them and give them friends to comfort and hold them as well. God we love you. Amen

 
At 9:48 AM, Anonymous Pat Davila said...

Brent& Deanna,

I know the silence is deafening and the heart ache immeasurable at times. The one thing you can hold on to at this time is the memories. It is a gift from God. It is the one thing that will bring you comfort. Your in shock and it might be hard to focus on a memory. But you will be able to smell that smell again and to hear his voice. I know it will not be the same until he is back in your loving arms but it will bring you comfort to just remember. It is ok to be angry, don't hold it in. You have each other to lean on and all of us to hold you up in prayer. This next year will bring many tests & tears but your family has been planted deep in Christ and you will make it through this.

You must know by now how dedicated your bloggers are to praying for your family. We will stand by your side until the end.

 
At 10:02 AM, Blogger Lynn Andrews said...

Precious Family,

After reading Deanna's post yesterday and Brent's today, I found myself searching His word (something I'm doing a lot more of these days) for something I could offer you. I was reading a bible study about bitterness such as that Naomi suffered after losing her husband and sons. It led me to a passage in Psalms:

Ps 71:14 - But as for me, I will always have hope, I will praise you more and more.

Ps 71:17-19 - Since my youth, O God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I DECLARE YOUR POWER TO THE NEXT GENERATION, your might to all who are to come.

Ps 71:20-21 - Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will bring me up . You will increase my honor and comfort me once again.

Anger and emptiness is such a natural part of grief and our Lord understands. Our family lost my niece's husband a year ago this month in Iraq. We lost my dad only 6 months before that. The anger and bitterness was so overwhelming at times. We, as humans, could not overcome it alone - only He could restore us. We discovered anew how great is His faithfulness.

Praying you through this day - thinking of Deanna as she returns to "her" children and Brent as you struggle to let the anger go. For Lauren and Whitney, peace and focus as they adjust to this "new normal".

Blessings to this wonderful Body of Christ - you teach me and reinforce my faith as well.

Love to you all,
Lynn Andrews
Macon, GA

 
At 10:04 AM, Anonymous Matt L. said...

Brent, Deanna,
It was wonderful yesterday to be able to worship with you once again. I enjoyed it so much.
Rebecca and I, too, left FBC our first time, saying "It feels like home.....", and we began attending there shortly after you did, somewhat like you leaving a church we loved very much. I am so glad we found the same home, and became part of the same "family."
I lift each of you up this morning as I sit here and pray. I lift you up Deanna, as you return to work this week. I pray that our Lord continues to keep you safe, and lays his healing hands on you throughout the week.
I coninue to think of each of you often, each day as I pray in pink!
I impatiently await to sit to dinner with you Tuesday!
Your Friend!
Matt
"God is Good....All the time
and
All the time.....God is Good!"

 
At 10:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brent,

Oh man that brought tears to me this morning. It's like I can feel your pain. I am a parent and I could totally see myself feeling the way you feel. It is so normal for you to be going through all of this. Being a follower of Christ doesn't take the grieving or wanting BJ back. It makes it easier for you I'm sure because u know u will see him again soon, but no one said it was going to be easy. You have every right to go through this process of healing. God knows you love and miss your son terribly, and it is ok to grieve. Your going to be going through alot of emotions for a very long time. My brother passed away years and years ago, he would have been 48 years old and my mother still every now and then has a very hard time with it. My dad won't even talk about it, they were very young when they lost him. Brent everything that you are going through is normal and it is ok. You will never ever get over B.J. and no one expects you too. I will pray for you that God will ease the pain, and help you deal with your loss, heck our loss too. You have shown us great courage and wisdom through all of this. God bless you and your family.

L

 
At 10:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My son, Joshua, is 14 years old and is a cross country runner. He ran this weekend for the American Heart Association and dedicated this run in the memory of B.J. Even though Josh did not know B.J., he has made an impression on him and B.J. is on his mind and in his thoughts often. I named Joshua that name because I wanted him to grow up and be a warrior for God and your son has been an example to him of how to do that.
I pray continually for you. I wish I could do more.

Carole in W. Monroe, Louisiana

 
At 11:02 AM, Blogger NatenAmy said...

Brent, Deanna, Lauren and Whitney--

Just wanted to let you know that you are close to our hearts and not far from our thoughts today! We continue to lift you up to our Heavenly Father hourly...

Brent, we are here for you as you work through the anger. We love you, no matter what, and we're sticking close! We miss seeing you!

Deanna, we are praying for you as you start school again this week. I know it must seem scary at times, but we pray for sweet peace and encouragement as you take one day at a time. We love you too, LOADS!

Lauren and Whitney, we continue to pray for encouragement and support for you at school and at work. We love you both.

Sonshine today as you work through the emotions, pain, and anger... He is able!

Hugs,

Nate and Amy

 
At 11:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wish I knew what to say, but I don't. I will continue to pray for you and Deanna. And of course the girls too.

 
At 11:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying for you!
Indianapolis

 
At 11:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I saw an article in the Oklahoma Baptist Messenger about your family. I then came to this site and wept over your tragedy. Please know that you are being lifted before the Lord by many people who are stangers in a worldly sense but we are brothers and sisters in Christ!

I also wanted to thank you for being so honest about your feelings. After reading some of the entries I thought "wow, I wish I had that much faith." My husband lost his mother in May. He is only 27. I haven't known how to deal with the loss. I feel like I can't talk to anyone because I don't want to further upset him or anybody else.

This sight has really blessed me to know that God is holding onto us and carrying us through this loss. I pray that you will experience more and more of His love every day!

We grieve for our loss here on earth but celebrate our loved ones gain! It is such a strange mix of emotions. Thank you again for sharing your journey. You are a blessing. Your family will be in our prayers! God Bless.

 
At 11:35 AM, Blogger Tara Case said...

Dad-
My heart is hurting for you but for what its worth...its normal to want to smell him. I still have a bag with my sisters blanket in it. When I was 13 I thought if I zipped it up, the smell couldnt get out. Most of it has but there are still those times where i can sit and just smell her and feel your little hands and hear her voice waking me up when I would lay in bed and she would run in and she would rest her chin on the edge of my bed. Right by my face and softly whisper (2 years older remember hehe) "..sisssee"..." SSisseee"...it gradually grew and then when i would open my eyes to smile at her she would run down the hall with her little diaper rusling around hehe. When I think of those things of Beej to hang on to, I think of his black "Salvation" shirt that he wore in Peru. The one that like nintendo or something. And that moments where you dont understand and you want to throw things and scream and cry..my prayer for you is that you would be able to grieve in a normal way and not expect it to be ok all the time. Its normal to hurt. I just wanted to share that for whats it worth. Another day to fight...When you are weak and feel like you can't fight and need to just be broken, I will fight for you! All of you!
Love you all!
Tara Case

 
At 11:42 AM, Anonymous Rachel Long said...

Precious Family,
Everyday I'm getting more eager for us all to go home, to be with Jesus with no distractions or discouragements. But there is glory in this suffering. It glorifies God that His children can sing praise through their suffering because we have found Him worth it. Thank you for the reminder that it's not just the dying, but the living for Jesus that He wants. I've been singing this song a lot the past two months, and want to sing it over you now...

Living for Jesus, a life that is true,
Striving to please Him in all that I do;
Yielding allegiance, glad hearted and free,
This is the pathway of blessing for me.

Refrain
O Jesus, Lord and Savior, I give myself to Thee,
For Thou, in Thy atonement, didst give Thyself for me.
I own no other Master, my heart shall be Thy throne.
My life I give, henceforth to live, O Christ, for Thee alone.

Living for Jesus Who died in my place,
Bearing on Calvary my sin and disgrace;
Such love constrains me to answer His call,
Follow His leading and give Him my all.
Refrain
Living for Jesus, wherever I am,
Doing each duty in His holy Name;
Willing to suffer affliction and loss,
Deeming each trial a part of my cross.
Refrain
Living for Jesus through earth’s little while,
My dearest treasure, the light of His smile;
Seeking the lost ones He died to redeem,
Bringing the weary to find rest in Him.
Refrain

much love,
Rachel Long
Tulsa, OK

 
At 11:44 AM, Blogger *kim said...

and the LORD will continually guide you and satisfy your desire in scorched places, and give strength to your bones; and you will be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water whose waters do not fail. - isaiah 58:11
praying that God continues to show you how to grieve. love *kim

 
At 11:53 AM, Anonymous Laura Floyd said...

Good afternoon - It was so nice to see you all at church yesterday. I know it had to have been an extremely difficult day. Just know that my prayers for you and your family have not ceased and we love you.
Laura

 
At 12:30 PM, Blogger Christina said...

I am hoping and praying that you are feeling the love as you share your struggle with us. I wish I were there to hug you and to let you tell me all the BJ stories you can. Keep talking to us and God and keep walking with Him!

Praying for and loving you!

Christina

 
At 12:37 PM, Blogger Dean said...

Three years ago, my wife and I endured a horrendous miscarriage of our second child in which we almost lost my wife as well.

While I cannot comprehend the loss of such a wonderful young man, I just want to let you know that you are in my prayers - and that I will remember to pray for you three years from now when something will remind you of BJ.

I still hurt, still wonder - yet still move on and live for Him - though it is harder at some times than others.

God bless you and your family.

 
At 12:44 PM, Anonymous Joshua McMillin said...

Our Prayers are still with you. I wish I could say more, or provide some form of comfort... I just don't know what to say other than we cry with you.


Joshua & Tiffany

Utah

 
At 12:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Deanna and Brent,

I love you and am not surprised by anything you share about the loss and the anger and the memories. I am praying for you and thinking of you often. I also want to let know again, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, my life is not the same since going on this painful journey with you. I have had so many opportunities to share the Good News since BJ went to heaven. God is continually placing me in situations to share an encouraging word with people who need it as well as opportunities to pray for them. Honestly, in the hustle and bustle of my "self-filled" life all of these people seemed invisible to me before. I have asked God to burn this passion (of sharing Jesus with people) down deep in my soul. After all, that's why I still walk the face of the earth - to share the Good News and bring glory to God. Acts 20:24 just jumped off the pages of Don't Waste Your Life, like I've never even read it before. "But my life is worth nothing unless I use it for doing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus- the work of telling others the Good News about God's wonderful kindness and love." I will not waste my life. I will not go on, business as usual.

Praying you through the pain,
Lynne, in Gray,Ga.

 
At 1:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm praying for you...God Bless....
Greenfield, Indiana

 
At 2:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Still praying for your family!
ElisaBeth in CT

 
At 2:21 PM, Blogger a schmaltzee life said...

brent...

i think you coming to california sounds like a great idea!!!!

ok...but since that probably isn't going to happen anytime soon....i will send the pic...

i have been having some technical difficulty with my cam....(love the digital stuff) i had wanted to get it to you before this...but know that i haven't forgotten!!!

hugs to you...marla

 
At 2:34 PM, Blogger LisaTeegarden said...

Hello family: It was good to talk to you briefly last night brother. I am praying for you's. Thank you for being so honest...I cried as I read today. I noticed right away when we were there after BJ was gone that Dakota seemed to be missing someone very important...his buddy......OUR Beloved BJ...we all miss him so. I am thankful you are honest about the anger part...God understands. At least I believe He does...Many times after Dad died...I would have such feelings...Of course I was not angry with God really, but just that it was so unfair. I have had similar feelings about Beej too. I know God needed him more....but, well...I just understand your feelings. Since I am only blessed with animal children I cannot fully understand...but God does. We Love you all so much...This website is a blessing. Lisa

 
At 3:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying for release of the extreme anger. Know that God understands. He didn't cause BJ to get sick, it was not His will that BJ die . . . but He did not choose to make him well on this earth, but to bring him to Himself.His miracle was a heavenly body. In His time, the answers will come together. For now, know that all these people are holding you up before the Father, asking Him to show you a purpose for taking your son to Heaven for what we all feel was way too early. Oh, we are praying and praying for an abundance of strength to come over you. Throw baseballs, hit a pillow, go out in the woods and scream - do anything like that to help release the anger. It is OK!!
God - please protect Brent and Deanna. Protect their marriage, their love, their communication, their emotions. In Your name! Amen

 
At 3:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Deanna, know that I am committed to pray for you throughout the day tomorrow. May you feel his "hedge" of protection and His mighty power as you walk through the doors and may you truly be carried on angel's wings as you go about your day. You have so very much to offer to these little ones, each time the nieces and nephews came to the hospital you lit up and for a few brief moments, the heaviness was lifted for you. Let these little ones bring you that same comfort. Soak up the hugs and affection and bask in their delight at seeing you!
Brent, we continue to lift you up as you try to find that balance between grief/anger/acceptance and grace. Know that we love you like family and are always close by (8 min. to be exact!) Continuing in prayer, we press on together . . .carol

 
At 3:15 PM, Blogger the leaf family said...

I love you guys very much.
Though I can't imagine the deepth of your pain as a parent, I hurt deeply with you, I pray with you, smile with you, ache with you, cry with you and as I watch Michael and Sarah and hold them a little closer everyday I think of you guys..
Thank you for so many blessings and I will pray for your strength for this day.. and for one day at a time..
As I watched Michael hurt for a friend that lost her dear 15yr old friend in a car accident over the weekend..As I watched him ache for BJ, I was again reminded how dear and precious life is.. and how God wants to use us, and our experiences even when we are only 15..
Thank you so much for sharing your most private time with us.. It is truly a blessing and I know that you are making GOD smile everyday..
I think I can smell that sock cap in KC or maybe that is the foot oder..
With all my love and prayers from KC-Tracy

 
At 3:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a blessing to be able to pray for your family. God has done an amazing thing - bringing so many together - many that are also hurting and are able to encourage your family while also gaining strength and encouragement for their own pain. As someone said earlier - GOD IS GOOD - ALL THE TIME!! ALL THE TIME - GOD IS GOOD!!!!

 
At 3:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

praying still

 
At 3:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Still praying in CO

 
At 3:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying often!!!!

 
At 3:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

PRaying for each of you as you try to adjust. Just take it moment by moment.
With many prayers for you in OK!!

 
At 3:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We love you all!!
The Miners

 
At 3:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

10-year-old Karissa read with me about Dakota and was very sad for him. We have an Aussie/Sheltie mix (also from the pound, and our second Australian Shepherd)--they are very much "people" dogs who don't like to be separated from family members even for a little while. We understand how Dakota must be feeling and acting right now. Give him some extra pats and hugs from us, please!

We also understand your pain and anger and all those other emotions that seem to come and go without warning sometimes. God, please use these emotions as a part of Your healing grace. Use their dependence on You to build up Brent and Deanna's relationship, and allow them to bear one another's burdens rather than wound one another during this time. Thank you for their great love for their son that is also the source of this great pain. . .use that love, their love for their daughters, their love for one another, and their love for You to bind them together even more strongly and to bring even more glory to Your Name! Thank You, God, that Your thoughts are so much higher than ours--that You're reaching in to touch the wounds that we can't know or understand--that You care so deeply and love so well. Help us reflect You in everything we do and say, in Your holy name, AMEN.

praying in pink,

Pieper Family (including Dakota's new friend, Promise)
Charleston, SC

 
At 4:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

'Dad'
If I could, I'd jump right through this computer and scare that pain and anger right out of you!! Actually, it would just to give you a big hug, but I am sure the fear of someone jumping out of your computer would literally scare you to the point of a hug being out of the question!!
So I guess the next best thing that I can do is to just keep praying for you here in Florence Kentucky!
Your sister in Christ,
Debbie Schmidt

 
At 4:19 PM, Blogger Ashley Darnold said...

I love you all, and I am still praying for you!
-ashley darnold
Oklahoma City

 
At 4:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am still praying for you.

Laura O.

 
At 4:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Love you too, dad!
Kayla

 
At 5:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

still reading, sharing and praying with you.
Mark
Hudson, Oh

 
At 5:15 PM, Blogger Marcia said...

Still praying, praying, praying....

 
At 6:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please give them peace
Remove their fear of the unknown
Allow them to rest in you
You are their God
In You they have put all trust
No one can help them like You
Give them strength to make it

 
At 7:07 PM, Anonymous tony tyler said...

Dear Brent and Deanna,
I've never met you or BJ. I am a student at a University in Oklahoma. Today I read an article by Walker Moore about BJ and it touched me deeply. I can't even begin to comprehend what this time has been like. I can only say I am praying for you. The inspiration of BJ's and your stories is compelling. In the time that comes, know that I am vigorously praying for you. Keep telling the story. Bless you.

 
At 7:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just want you to know that what you wrote that bj wrote about suffering is helping my friend paul a lot in his walk with God. It's helping my friends as I share it with them. I'm sorry to hear that you are going through so much pain, but it is understandable. I'm still praying
Can't wait to see you in Oklahoma in November.
Love your "daughter" in Christ
-Brittany A.
California
(Peru, Uganda)

 
At 8:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am continuing to pray for you all! Thank you for continuing to post...it is always such a blessing to me. I wanted to share a prayer request with you, I was so encouraged and challenged by the way you called on brothers and sisters in Christ to pray with you...that's what the family is for!! John and Lydia Gouge are missionaries that my church supports. Mr. Gouge has recently undergone a lung transplant. He was able to go home several weeks ago, but he is back in the hospital now, and the doctors are unsure of what to do. Please lift them up!

Love in Christ,
Hannah Lane
North Carolina

I wrote more about his condition on my xanga if you are interested. It is xanga.com/InChristAlone19

 
At 8:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is the nature of grief. It's vital to face it head-on and work through it. While the Bible is our primary source of comfort, there's also a wonderful little book called "How to Survive the Loss of Love." It's not written by/for Christians particularly, but has wonderful gems of advice for coming back from the terrible loss of someone you love. Maybe you can borrow it from your local library.

We continue to pray for you.

Patricia
Fort Wayne

 
At 10:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Brent and Deanna,

We just wanted to let you know that you and the girls continue to be in our prayers and thoughts. Through these difficult times, we pray that you continue to feel our Lord's strong and loving arms around you.

Love,
The Haag Family

 
At 10:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's something my friend Richard said after reading some of Bj's journal:
"that is awesome im so sorry about bj he seems like he is a great person more than great but words couldnt describe it hearing about him makes me think and what he wrote in his diary and just the words he spoke it is awesome even after he contracted the disease he still put everything he had into god and im sure he is in heaven i really enjoyed reading that and it really puts high spirits in me he sems like he led a really christlike life if i could be half of him i meen god really really got into him and worked through him i can see it i cant believe all the things he went through and still had the same happy attitude and faith in god he is awesome and a magnificent site in the world today i really wish i could have met him he would have been a great person to meet and just talk to im really sorry about what happened to him but you know he is in an awesome place unimaginable to us and he is happy there that i can assure you"
love Brittany A

 
At 12:02 AM, Anonymous Carol said...

Still thinking of your family and praying for your peace and comfort. Thank you for sharing your journey with us, even now. My heart aches to read your words as you remember your precious son. Carol in Arlington, TX

 
At 1:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't sleep well tonight. God has brought you to my mind and I am praying for you. I pray that you have a restful nights sleep so that when you wake up you will feel refreshed and strengthened to begin a new day.

I pray that God sends people to you today that are an encouragement and can give you comfort. But I also pray for some humor in your life today. I am asking God to bring something/someone along your way that can make you laugh a little. It may seem like a strange request but I know that you are a family that enjoys having a good time and laughing together.

Please know that your church family is here, praying for you, concerned for you and wanting to do something to help you through this. Let us know how we can help!

FBC

 
At 1:34 PM, Anonymous Shari Allegood said...

Dea and Brent,
I suppose writing here is easier then going to my email box, so here i am.

I have had my ownstruggles with anger lately also - i forgot that it was pretty normal with grief. you'd think i'd have gotten it by now, but just like the children of israel in the wilderness, i am forgetful and grumbly. I repent.

Lord, change me.

I have been busy with life and weighed down by concerns. I know trusting the Lord is the only way to get through it and yet i end up forgetting and struggling to keep my head up. Coming to the web site, having a good cry, reading BJs journal entries and your comments just helps me put life back into perspective. Does that make sense. Well, I'm not always sensible.

I love yall and have continued praying for you. I hope we are able to get together during the holidays. I'm not at all sure when or if we will be able to come. We'll have to wait and see.

Give our love to the girls.

 
At 9:52 PM, Anonymous Leslie said...

After my younger brother died I was filled with anger. I thought I was going crazy until someone told me that it was normal. I was so mad at God because he didn't heal my brother. Then a group called Life Action came to my church. One night they talked about forgiveness. I realized that I had to forgive God, which seemed strange to me because He is God. That's when my true healing began. It took me 7 months to get to that point. I will be praying for you.

 
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