Friday, October 14, 2005


It's been a quiet week, so different from when we had those quiet nights in the hospital. We went to visit our friends in the PICU last night - what an incredible encouragement they were to us! We will never forget the friends we made, sharing in hope and tears. Their jobs are so vital and they make such a difference. I was impressed with many things at St. V's but the staff's sensitivity and gentle care of us, especially the night we lost BJ, will ever be with me. I think the entire hospital experience solidified Whitney's resolve to pursue nursing. It's not a career for the weak, that's for sure!

I am looking forward, with a little trepidation, to starting school next week. We thought it wise to begin slowly, I'll work 3 days a week for 3 weeks before I'm full time again, and I'm so very thankful I'm able to ease back in such a way. The school administration has been very supportive, patient and understanding through everything. It will be refreshing to see all "my" children again and meet the 1st graders finally! I have missed my friends and colleagues as well. They, with the students' help, just about single handedly, sent BJ close to 1,000 birthday cards! One even complete with his picture in a red sports car!

Friends, don't hesitate to leave your requests on this blog as you feel the need for prayer. This site is no longer just about us and BJ, it is ministering in a way we never dreamed it would, thanks to your interest and continued responses. We know we are not the first ones ever to experience loss, and too many times we forge ahead without accepting the help we so desperately need.

A card we received that touched me in a special way had this verse in it: Daniel 12:3 "Those who are wise will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars for ever and ever."

Love to all,


At 7:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

God Bless you and your prayers remain with you.

Greenfield, Indiana

At 7:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


It's so nice to hear from you...

I am so glad to hear that you going back to your teaching and happy that you will be taking it slowly...

What a strong woman you are...

I continue to lift you up in prayer.

Your Sister in Christ,
Mary (Noblesville)

At 8:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My prayers still are with you everyday, but there is also another whose family and herself need prayer. A girl at my school was in a serious car accident and is in the hospital. In a way sometimes she reminded me of bj and acted like him alot. She will have to go through rehab and many other things to return to her old lifestyle. I ask that whoever reads this to just pray for all of the children and their families of those who are in the hospital. Bj experience in the hospital touched many of us and we know the feeling of a loved one being ill, so i just ask for you to pray.
Continuing to pray for you and others,

At 8:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have been reading your family's entries for a little over a month now, and each entry brings tears to my eyes.

My husband and I are Indiana Wesleyan students in Marion, and we heard about your family from friends of ours (who heard about you from chapel...small world up here!). I have been captivated since then by your strength and grace through this whole journey you've been on.

I know that God will continue to bless and keep you through each hard new "first" without BJ. God is good like that. :)

While I have been challenged and convicted through reading about BJ's life, I just might be more challenged and uplifted through reading your family's entries. They are so full of hope and grace--even though your pain is apparent to. Thanks for being real, and showing us all how to have joy in the midst of sorrow. What an example you are. God is clearly showing himself through each of you.

Take care of yourselves, get lots of sleep, etc. :)

Hayley Morgan
Indiana Wesleyan

At 8:35 AM, Blogger . said...

This old hymn by Charles Wesley as been repeating in my head all morning
Jesus, lover of my soul, let me to Thy bosom fly,
While the nearer waters roll, while the tempest still is high.
Hide me, O my Savior, hide, till the storm of life is past;
Safe into the haven guide; O receive my soul at last.

Other refuge have I none, hangs my helpless soul on Thee;
Leave, ah! leave me not alone, still support and comfort me.
All my trust on Thee is stayed, all my help from Thee I bring;
Cover my defenseless head with the shadow of Thy wing.

Plenteous grace with Thee is found, grace to cover all my sin;
Let the healing streams abound; make and keep me pure within.
Thou of life the fountain art, freely let me take of Thee;
Spring Thou up within my heart; rise to all eternity.
Still praying....

At 8:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brent & Deanna,

You are both so very articulate and sincere. I, like many others, find myself looking forward to reading how God is moving in your lives each day. Know that you are continually in our prayers.

People (often flippantly but with good intentions) tell us that, "time heals all wounds." When I lost my first wife to cancer way back in 1986 (she was 23), I remember the wound. I also remember that I felt a bittersweetness about the "healing" of that wound. If the healing that time brought was going to distance me from my memories of some ways then, the wound was more bearable...I almost found myself clinging to the wound.

But we serve a merciful God.

I share all of that with you as encouragement to you today is this; time truly will ease the pain. My memories of Kim are even sweeter now than when she went home to be with Jesus. God has blessed my life far beyond what I've ever deserved in the gifts of the people that He has brought into my life since my journey with her. The wound became a no longer hurts, but it is simply a reminder of what was endured.

Dear Jesus,
I lift the Higgins family up to you again today. Ease their pain as they get on with life. Sweeten their memories of BJ, and heal the wounds that are still so fresh. May they be encouraged by these messages today. We love you. In Jesus' Name. Amen

Jim David

At 8:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So good to hear from you mom. You are in my every thought and I pray that God will continue to surround you with His peace, grace and mercy. Your family has been such a blessing to all of us. You are a true testimony of His strength.


At 8:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

For all those still untouched, for hearts still hardened, for the young lady in the car accident, her family and others who are hurt, sick, recovering and mourning...for this wonderful family who shares their hope, fears and faith- many, many prayers. And much love and peace, to all.

At 9:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Deanna - You still amaze me with your strength, courage and love for our God. I thank you for offering to us as your bloggers a chance to request prayers. I have "lost" my sons to drugs and thugs. I was so blinded by Satan's suductions on my children. I have grown spiritually and know that only by God and his grace can change this around. Instead of getting angry now, I pray. Instead of feeling hopeless to drugs, I feel empowered by the Spirit to help them see the glory and honor in worshiping Christ. They've seen the change. Now I need prayers for them to come to Christ and leave the devil and his suductions behind them. I appreciate all the prayers!! Fellow Blogger

At 9:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Deanna - Just know I love you and I am praying for you ...

At 9:46 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Deanna,
Thank you for sharing. I got to talk to Brent yesterday. It is so good to read the words y'all write and to hear your voices. Your faith is increasing my faith.

Never before in my life have I prayed so consistently and intensely as I prayed for BJ. For 43 days my first and last thoughts of each day were prayers for BJ. Many days in the middle of the day, afternoon or morning I found myself praying. I know thousands of others can say the same thing.

God softened my heart. During these past two months several other major events in my life demanded attention. My prayers naturally gravitated toward those things as well. The "storms" of life came on me like never before. Under my own strength, as I often attempt to live, I would have not survived.

However, BJ helped me survive; as I prayed for him, God strengthened me. The thought came to me yesterday that "It doesn't seem fair." It's a childish thought. But why couldn't God have just taken my old life, instead of BJ's young life? I don't fully understand, but I accept God's sovereignty.

It's a very different day for our family. You, Brent, Lauren and Whitney have the most difficult road ahead. We are all grateful that the power of the Almighty will see us through.

All my love,
Deer Park, TX

At 10:01 AM, Blogger Christina said...


How wonderful that you have such a supportive adminstration. You are blessed in so many ways. Your kids will love to see you back and be able to hug you in person. It will be awkward for you initially, I am sure. Let everyone love you as much as you can handle. Sometimes those of us on the outside don't know what to say or do.

Have a blessed weeeknd.


At 10:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Deanna, Brent,Whitney, and Lauren,

Hi guys. How are you guys holding up? I just wanted to let you know that you are always in my prayers. I was just wondering if I could possibily get some more personal information on Beej. I am writing a paper in English on someone that is considered a hero to you. I chose your son. When we were little he was my best friend. We played all the time and I was so happy that you chose my mom to babysit B.J. I just wanted to let other people know about his accomplishments and his mark he has put in this world. I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo PROUD to say that I knew and still know B.J. Higgins. I want others to learn about him so I am willing to risk my reputation at school to share B.J.s AMAZING story. I would like some normal information like; place of birth(which I am pretty sure is Indy, but i just wanted to double check), accomplishments(besides the obvious), where he went to middle school and high school(Im pretty postitive he went to Oaklandon all 4 years), his timeline. I am pretty sure I know all these facts but I don't want to mess up his AMAZING journey. Thank you very much for your time and I hope to see all of you guys very soon. Also you can e-mail the information to I understand if you do not want to give out Beej's personal information. So I understand if I don't recieve an e-mail from the Higgen's family. So thank agian for your time. You guys are always in my prayers. God Bless you guys. Thanks agian. Bye

~Ali Sweeney~

At 10:46 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Deanna, Brent,
I just wanted to take a moment to let you know how much I appreciate your daily messages. The Blog has almost become a "daily devotional", of sorts. I now look forward to getting to work, opening up the website and reading the newest message, along with the many comments througout the day. It has helped me prepare myself for each day. I read, I pray, I reflect. I continue to keep each of you in my prayers, lifting you up to the lord, as I do my own family. You are continually in my thoughts and prayers througout each day. Brent, I too, wake up in the morning, with songs, such as "Held", "Blessed be the name", etc. and sometimes it's just voices....maybe I should get that checked out? (hahaha). It is a wonderful feeling, however, to awaken to songs such as those as opposed to the daily "junk", we often clutter our minds with. As much as I am sure you feel we...."the blog family", and Friends have helped you, YOU have un-doubtedly helped us. My faith, my "Journey" has reached the next platau....The next level. I continue to climb, as well as, walk and talk with our Lord and Saviour each day and I appreciate the assistance you gave to me along my journey.
Both of you are a true inspiration. I am proud, as I have said before, to call you Friends.
I pray this day for and with you.
I will continue to lift you up as you return to work, Deanna. I pray that my children are able to have teachers, such as you to touch their lives. They need more people like help direct them down the right path.
Your Friend
Matt Littell

At 10:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for getting the courage to come on each and every day and share with us what you are feeling and what your family is going through. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. May God continue to bless each of you.


At 11:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so pleased to hear of your decision to ease back in to your work routine. I know it will be awkward for some but I'm sure if some people don't come up to speak to you it's only because they fear saying the wrong thing. It sounds like you have a wonderful group of friends and associates at school. I've been praying that you would begin to feel more comfortable about taking that step.
How sweet and lovely to read the blog from one of the staff at St. V's. Once again demonstrating how God has used a sad event to bring enlightenment to others. He is being glorified.
I continue to pray for each of you that the Holy Spirit will provide what is needed for each day, hour and moment. He is the comforter.
Thanks to each of you for sharing yourselves through this site. It certainly has evolved into a different kind of ministry tool from it's original intent. I appreciate it.

Evansville, IN

At 11:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We all look forward to seeing you back Deanna! You have a tremendous gift of teaching and the children are blessed to have you! As always, you will be in my thoughts and prayers. May God continue to do His healing within the lives of you and your precious family.

Lori Burkert

At 11:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dearest Higgins Family,

I want to thank you immensely for everything you post here. Your transparency is so beautify, your hearts are able to sing through your grief. Thank you for being such a great example. I turn to your every time I'm feeling like everything is getting to heavy and your faith allows me to trust that God is always good.
All of you are so strong. I really admire that. I'm always praying for you.
Love in Christ,
Kris (Bloomington IN)

At 12:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

To my extended family~

Yesterday I began reading Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper. While we were in Peru BJ loved sharing insights from it. He used to encourage me to one day pick it up and only boast in the cross. God has already begun working that truth in my life through BJ and the incorporation of actually living Galatians 6:14 and Phil 1:21. I am constantly reminded of each day alive allows us to bring more glory to the Father. Thank you for the continual updates and know that God is moving in a mighty way!


Erin from NC

PS: BJ's last xanga entry is my bookmark, so I will never forget that what I read must be lived out daily!

At 1:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I were back in school and had to write a paper on someone I considered a hero, I'd write about BJ,too! Thanks to this blog, I have four other new heroes, all with the last name Higgins. . .and a "great crowd" of new friends who encourage me in Christ. I'm grateful for each one.

Can we "only imagine" the reunion we'll have in heaven one day? Just think--we won't even need "anonymous blogger" name tags--and I'm sure BJ will find something for us to slide or jump down. . .

Sending love and prayers in pink,

Marti for the Pieper Family
Charleston, SC

At 2:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Higgins Family,

Deanna, I am praising God that you are returning to work. There are many children that need the love and encouragement that only you can provide, this is the ministry that God has given you. And as God uses you to minister to the next generation of Beej's, Joshua's, Whitney's and Lauren's. You will find that they are ministring to you, pouring out on you the healing balm of Gilead.

I truely believe that whether we work in the christian or secular arena, the jobs we do are really minstries that God has called us to.

Brent, Zephaniah 3:17 says
The Lord your God is in your midst.
The Mighty One will save.
He will rejoice over you with gladness.
He will quiet you with His love.
He will rejoice over you with singing.

As with the Natlie Grant song, I think at times that our Father allows us to hear the songs that He is singing over us. To comfort us, strengthen us, and to show that His promises are true and that He is in our midst.

How awesome to be awakened of a morning by your Father, just so He could remind you how much He loves you.

Through this blog many lives have been changed not only because of Beej's testimony, but because of the Higgin's family willingness to follow this new ministry that God has called you to.

You are teaching us faithfulness, steadfastness, and the security of God's promises and His Love. More than anything, though you are coming to us in your weakiness to show the strength of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

As the apostle Paul wrote
I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy, for your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;

In Him,
Sallye King
San Angelo TX

At 3:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is always refreshing to hear from you. I want you to know that I lift you up in prayer several times through out the day. I pray that God continues to show himself to you in new and exciting ways and that you continue to seek Him in all you do.


At 3:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


Deanna and Brent want us to use this blog to share prayer request and to encourage not just the Higgin's family but each other as well.

In a previous blog you wrote that you have been sensing that a change in jobs for you is coming, and that you and Dan are looking at selling your business.

You were also real honest about where you were in your walk.

So my beloved sister in Christ, besides the above how can we best be praying you through during this transition?


At 3:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


My prayers for you are that you continue to feel held.. that you continue to feel surrrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses. please know that my prayers for you will never end. i love you..


At 4:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mrs. Higgins:
God Bless you for your strength, and good luck re-entering the work force. You not only are a special person because of your achievement of raising such wonderful children but you are a "TEACHER". You must get a great sense of inspiration just knowing the difference you are making in a child's life. My prayers continue to be with you and your family.
Hampstead, NC

At 5:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dearest Deanna,
We are all so looking forward to having you back with us at school! We love you, and we are ready to care for you in whatever way we can. You and your family have blessed us in so many ways. The children will be happy to see you again and love you as only the children can do. We welcome you with open arms and loving hearts. God will be with you and give the strength you need the moment you need it. You have many brothers and sisters in Christ here at school and we welcome you home with us.
Love from your school family

At 6:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Higgins Family,
I just noticed that BJs profile lists his location as Heaven. I can't believe I just now noticed that. What an incredible feeling it gave me. I know you'd love to have him with you, but isn't it great to know that if he is in your hearts, but He is with Jesus!
Barb Anderson
Ft Wayne, IN

At 8:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brent and Deanna- I have a group of doctors out in AZ that are praying and believing for a miracle regarding the medical bills. If you are comfortable, could you let us know as things are resolved and specifically how to pray.
For our Lord, the money is nothing.
We are continuing to lift up this specific issue.
Brenda W in AZ

At 12:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We will pray for you next week! I just echo all of these comments I have read, it truly is inspiring to come to this sight daily and receive such encouragement and also to know specifically how we can pray for all of you. Thank you for allowing this to become a ministry, for being vessels God can use through your great sacrifices, may God bless you this evening and I pray you all rest well and have a great Saturday. I also cherish those songs like "held" and each time I hear it, it reminds me of you, BJ, Brent, and the girls and I just lift you up before the Lord, isn't music such an awesome gift from God? Have a blessed day.
Kayla Rice
Okc, Ok

At 5:42 AM, Blogger critnshelby said...

I sit here, feeling pain from a mother's heart. I am so sad and so so sorry for your loss. My prayers are still with you as you walk a new path. What would we do without Jesus? I am so thankful that I never have to know. I pray for peace and rest for you all. May He continue to keep you hidden in Him, and continue to give you strength for each new day.

Love from Virginia Beach
The Muniz Family

At 7:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I will be thinking of you and praying for you as you face this new chapter in your life.
Love in Christ,

At 8:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tara, I am praying for you and for your mother. I have experienced that "I do not come to bring peace but a sword. . ." with family members. It hurts. I pray that this sword (how appropriate!) will draw your Mom to a clear understanding of Him. We all see Him so clearly through your postings--I'm sure she sees Him in your life. Stand fast.

I haven't forgotten the financial need, either (thank you, Dr. Brenda--that is awesome about your team of pray-ers!). Father, please lift that burden from the Higgins. We know they have so much else to deal with, and this is such a small thing to the One who owns the cattle on a thousand hills. Please meet this need in a way that points clearly and only to You!

We are also lifting up Hollie today, Linda R. I read about Peter again this morning and saw again the seemingly heartless way that he turned away from his loving master. How easily we do the same thing, even when Love stands waiting to serve us and, one day, to welcome us home. Father, draw this little one back to you in amazing ways.

We went to sleep last night praying for our baby Melanie, turning nine today. This brought fresh prayers and tears for Brent, Deanna, and others whose children have no more earthly birthdays. May the Father hold you very closely now and as you greet those precious little ones next week, Deanna. We're still remembering you, too, Lauren and Whitney--hope your week of "new normal" showed many divine encounters.

with tender love and prayers in pink,

Pieper Family
Charleston, SC

At 6:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Deanna, You will be in my thoughts as you return to school on Mon. It will be a good thing - the Lord will be with you.
In His love, DeAnn

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