Affixed to the wall at the headboard of BJ's bed is a torn out leaf from a devotional booklet. I can't say which one, because it is not printed on the page. The title of the day is "The Mystery of Humility." I have shared with you before that Beej struggled with pride. It was his desire to be humble. I believe this is the reason this particular page stood out to him.

Underlined in the days lesson are what he perceived the keys to be.

"Moses, the great leader of the people and a man who actually saw God on Mt. Sinai, maintained his humility. He didn't lord his position over others. He didn't flaunt his close ties to the Father. He didn't let power corrupt him. He displayed true spiritual leadership while keeping his ego in check...Doing that while honoring God is the solution to the mystery of humility."- Dave Branon

The page shares scripture as well...Numbers 12:1-7, but BJ noted v6: "When a prophet of the Lord is among you, I reveal Myself to him in visions. I speak to him in dreams."

Finally, he underlined a couple of sentences from a section called "Destination Points": "Am I someone others would look at and say, "There's a humble Christian?...conducting myself as a true child of the King, but making sure He gets the glory?"

So many times since his death when I am out and I see what is going on in the world, I want to grab people and say "is that bringing glory to God?" However well intended that may sound, my motivation is more out of anger or frustration that we spend so much time on such foolishness, when the world around us is going to hell. There would be little humility in grabbing someone, shaking him, and saying "I'm not going to stop until you get it!" I don't think that action would glorify God either.

That was the way Moses got off track. He realized God was going to use him to deliver the Israelites and took matters into his own hands. There was nothing humble in his actions early on. It took 40 years in the desert, to bring humility into his life. When he finally got it, it took some convincing from our Lord to get him moving. But when he got it, God got all of the glory!

I believe BJ pointed to God in most situations. I have shared with you before, what the final four lines of his 2005 Peru journal were. But I did not share the writings that preceded that. If you'll allow me, I will do that now, and then give you the final four lines again.

Please keep in mind that at this writing, dated 7/20/05, according to doctors, BJ would have already contracted the infectious disease that allowed him the mercy of going home.

v3 "Theme God's glory" John 4:34-38, 1 Peter 1:3-7

v3b-4b"We should live our lives with Great expectations, not just for what God will do in this life, but also for the resurrection of the dead, and our new lives in God's eternal kingdom.

v4 As we are God's children, we will receive an inheritance from Him and indeed already have. God gave Christ, His Son all authority, power, and inheritance, who then died so we could be God's children as well. Then Christ gave us all of His authority, and a share in His inheritance.

v5 "Trusting"-Theme: faith in God allows us to live in the new life and have protection, power and blessings that God offers us.

v5b Theme- God's/our coming into glory as the bride of Christ.

v6b-7 suffering is a mercy from God because it allows us to make much of Christ and it makes much of Christ, which is the sole thing that satisfies. Our trials bring glory to God (so take joy in them).

"So if your faith...glory and honor?" John 17:22 God gave Christ glory who gave us glory. As we give God glory, He glorifies us in Him. Suffering brings God glory, therefore brings us glory. Also, to glorify God or to receive Glory, we must go through suffering. (v7b, Matt 20:21-23)

God glorifies us when we suffer
To have glory, you must suffer
To bring God glory, you will suffer
To suffer, brings God glory"

It is easy to dwell on the suffering. It is easy to get depressed over what happened. It is easy to let the main thing be BJ suffered, and died. (Perhaps I am even perpetuating that by writing about him.) However, the main thing is TO LIVE FOR CHRIST, until we are taken home. The only true satisfaction in life comes through glorifying Christ. All else is temporary, and leaves us wanting. Christ satisfies completely, and our hunger is only for more of Him!

Until you lay down your life and choose Christ, none of this will make sense.

Tara, I ache for your mother (e-mail me if my talking to her would help).
Linda R. my soul is wrenched at your pain, and I am lifting you and Hollie up.
Dear lady who lost her sons to drugs and thugs, how I pray that the Holy Spirit gets ahold of them. Do not relent in your own prayer, and do not get discouraged!

Christ is All, and the world fades.

Loving you,

dad


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