A year ago today, as I was beginning the hospital version of my morning routine, I was struck by what the Lord showed me.

We had spent over 35 days in these halls, retracing the same steps over and over. We had become very familiar with the sounds and smells that were not home, but temporarily so. We were traversing this journey with full belief that BJ was going to live, and that the Lord was setting up a platform from which he could minister.

People were responding to his writing, to his spiritual depth, his testimony. There were those who had set a plan in motion to buy him a laptop computer, so that once conscious, he could begin to address the faithful to this website. For at that time, there were thousands upon thousands checking in daily.

We were talking about how we were going to protect him from all that seemed to be headed his way. We addressed his future in school, and what to do about it. We saw in those long days what was truly important. We did not want to keep him from being able to minister in the ways our Lord had set forth.

Simultaneously, it had been weeks since either Deanna or myself had been to work. The Savior had provided for us situations and people who were completely understanding. They agreed our focus needed to be with Beej. Truly, that is where we stayed.

When the Lord revealed to me that a change was eminent in my position, I really did not know what to make of it. That morning, a year ago, as I was spending time with the Lord, He spoke into my heart. He used Oswald Chambers writings to do so.

I had been working at Highland Lakes Baptist Camp for nearly two years. I loved the environment of ministry there. I loved the people. What a blessing they were through our journey.

Then the words He used to prepare me for change..."Do you continue to go with Jesus? The way lies through Gethsemane, through the city gate, outside the camp; the way lies alone, and the way lies until there is no trace of a footstep left, only the voice, "Follow me."

I would read and reread these words over and over in the coming days, hoping for additional insight. I had no idea what they would mean. I could only imagine that I was going to be needed to travel with my son, to fully support what the Lord had planned for him. I was scared, but I embraced that reality.

I was willing to do whatever the Lord wanted of me. I envisioned brighter, happier moments when he would be on the platform speaking, and I would have to fight to suppress the pride I had in him as a father. It was going to be awesome!

My plans were not God's plans. A week later, a new reality would begin. One that has been much harder to embrace. One I knew even less about negotiating. One that has been much more painful, and threatens to rip us apart. Surely God's grace would cover us, and though we seemed to lose our way, we could follow the echo of His voice, "Follow me."

One portion has remained true, "...on the platform speaking...I have to fight to suppress the pride I [have] in him as a father. "

I am proud of him. He ran his race well.

A week ago, I wrote of the experience at FBC Snellville. I wrote of being moved by a young family at the altar. This past Sunday night, I learned that later that evening, the nine year old son who was accompanied by his parents and sister, would give his heart to Jesus!

And His voice continues to echo, "Follow me."


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