Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Deanna is teaching three days a week, this week and next, and then will be full time. Things are progressing well in teaching. She got sick this weekend, and is fighting that.

Lauren and her friend Kim came home for the weekend, and we laughed. Lauren is doing well at school and is getting caught up.

Whitney went apartment hunting with her roommate. They live in a freshman only dorm, and there are are no other dorms at IUPUI. They think they found what they want. Work is going well for her.

My work is fine. Staff have been great. It's just that what used to be important, now seems trivial...and that is hard.

The four of us went to dinner with friends Saturday night. It is still awkward at times. We all miss him, and it is hard not to just get lost in thought over memories. We are thankful for distractions at this point. Thanks for your concern.

Previously, I let you know that BJ and I enjoyed hiking and backpacking. Living at a heavily wooded camp has afforded us many opportunities to do this. On many occasions, Deanna and I would say, "Hey Beej, we're going for a hike." His programmed response was "Can I come?" I don't think we ever told him no, but he always asked for permission. Just polite, I guess.

One Spring, on a trip Beej and I took (we didn't get to take many) we were camping near a lake. At dusk, about 50 yards away we saw something moving. We quickly grabbed binoculars and discovered 5 or 6 fox kits (babies) romping and rolling near their lair. Apparently, mom was away hunting.

We decided to get close and try to take pictures in the fading light. We were below a dam so we had an advantage in sneaking up on them. However, we didn't need it, as they were as curious about us as we were about them. We laid down flat and closed to within 10 feet. Armed with my brothers telephoto lens, and being that close, we could hardly contain our enthusiasm. I snapped off tons of shots. They looked at us, sniffed the air a bit, then returned to their game of "I'm tougher than you are."

Eventually, they retreated back into their den, and we headed back to camp. It's just a short trek to Matthew 8:20 "Foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." That crisp night, our heads lay side by side.

Jesus words here, directed to an expert in the law, indicated the difficulty that exists for wandering disciples. While there is security in the Lord, this man seemed to be seeking security from the Lord, or things He could provide. We as believers do that too often, don't we? We stop seeking Jesus, and we look for the blessings we expect Him to provide. If we don't get them we act...well, you know.

If we could just learn to keep our eyes on Jesus, to keep our eyes in the Son...when your eyes are in the Son, you cannot see anything else (nor do you want for anything else). BJ's gaze now, is one I long for. How I look forward to looking Him full in the face!

Those pictures we took? Not one turned out. There wasn't enough light.

Do you have His light in your life? Please share it with someone who is in need.

Serving the King beside you,



At 7:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you. Praying for you all. You and your family are just amazing. God bless you all today and always.

At 7:29 AM, Blogger Tara Case said...

Thanks for the encouragement dad! As i layed in bed this morning, half awake half asleep...i began to just think and wonder. Wonder where God was in all this, in me just laying here and the world going on along side of me. Wondering if I had been obediant in everything he told me to do the day before. How i longed to spend time with him (only to wake up a few minutes later to my mom yelling about the dog getting out then getting a phone call that she was at 7-11 running around all the people...) So up and out of bed i went-what a start to a day!...I groaned and personally didnt feel like doing alot-Yet the Lord layed it on my heart to come and check the site. So thanks for the encouragement to just go to school and live the life and share about BJ. I have got to share about Beej and his love for the Lord with people at my work and its been amazing how they just, just-dont understand why i still want to go back. Why you all are still supportive. Why BJ was 15 and wanted to go and tell people...so pray for them. Anyways, i love you family and I will talk to you soon!
p.s. I got my dog back
p.p.s As I was about to send the journals, i found more...then more and so basically you will be getting a small book LoL It might be in Tulsa. We will see. Thanks for being patient with me! Love you!

At 7:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't stop coming back. I get fed so good here, it has become my favorite "Restaurant".
You all are awesome and are helping me grow in Christ! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

Dad...I have read more and more comments about you writing a book. I hope someday when you are ready, that you do!
Florence, KY

At 8:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This site is still amazing, I still everyday look forward to reading it. This was a good idea. Praying for you and a good day.

At 8:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear family,
I am still praying for you and I continue to read what you write daily. Thank you again for sharing your story.

At 10:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

... I have now recommitted my life to Jesus. I have felt somewhate stale in my spiritual walk. Reading the things this family posts simply brings joy to my soul, as well as tears to my eyes. I am reminded daily to focus on Jesus. Nothing I have is mine, it is His. Nothing I do is me, it is Him. My kids are not mine, they are His. God bless you guys for the things you are doing, it does make great differences in peoples lives. It did mine. I am now committed to sharing what I have found here with others. I know have two stories to minister to people with. Mine and yours. Our story is always the best to minister to people with... how God has changed my life. But included in my story will be yours, as your family and its simple web site has forever changed my thinking. Thank you.

Kurt Bachmann,
Drumright Church of the Nazarene

At 10:10 AM, Blogger Kim Mierau said...

Every day I check the site and so many times I get ready to post and I am wordless (a suprise for me, really). I know my words cannot reduce your grief. So please just know that I am praying for you all constantly - both individually and as a family. May God's presence continue to be thick around you. You constantly show me a level of faith which I continue to strive for. Please let me know if I can ever do anything for you. Love *Kim

At 10:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I pray that you have a day filled with Spirit to lift you and have you as close to Him as possible. I pray that the comfort of BJ being where he so longed to be - gives you a glimpse of joy in your sorrow of missing him so very much. BJ seemed to struggle with wanting to be obedient. I know that the struggle in his heart and soul are now over. He is in the Lord's presence and wanting so much for you to be comforted by that. By blogging everyday, you are not only serving the Lord by ministering to those of us who log on everyday, but you are fulfilling BJ's purpose here on this temporary earth. We thank you and your family and BJ for reaching those of us who had been longing for a start in our spiritual journey. I, too, have been saved and have given my life up to my Lord. Thank you. I feel the hole in your heart is now filling mine and it is so bitter-sweet. Maybe in some way the emptiness will be filled with the love of those you have spiritually awakened forever. Much love and peace to you today.
Westfield, IN

At 10:34 AM, Blogger Sheila said...

As I read your comments today this song came to mind. I hope you find the same comfort I did.

O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There’s a light for a look at the Savior,
And life more abundant and free!


Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

Through death into life everlasting
He passed, and we follow Him there;
Over us sin no more hath dominion—
For more than conquerors we are!


His Word shall not fail you—He promised;
Believe Him, and all will be well:
Then go to a world that is dying,
His perfect salvation to tell!


God Bless you again today and everyday,

At 10:41 AM, Blogger a schmaltzee life said...

Good morning Family.

so true...so many times i find myself longing for the presents of the Lord..instead of the presence of the Lord!
Somehow i seem to gauge my intimacy with him and his power...by looking at how he has answered my prayers...how he is providing for the needs of those around me.
then i stop (usually when i am so frustrated) and cry out to God...to just see him...really see him.

One of my very favorite verses is Psalm 27...the whole chapter is great...but i love it when it says...
I'm asking God for ONE thing... only one thing.
To live with him in his house
my whole life long.
To gaze at his beauty...to study at his feet.
That's the only quiet, secure place in a noisy world!"

oh yes...to just ask one thing from God...to just gaze at his beauty...because that is enough...and that is what really brings us closer to him!

you were talking about light...later in the passage it says...
"Point me down you highway, God; direct me along a well-lighted street"

to live in God's light...and have him directing all that we do! wow...can you imagine what our lives would be like if we really lived here!

i love the end!
"I'm sure now I'll see God's goodness in the exuberant earth.
Stay with God!
Take heart. Don't quit.
I'll say it again;
Stay with God!"

I love the confidence that this brings. When i can't see the goodness (usually because I'm not gazing at the Lord's beauty) this verse really encourages me to know that God's' goodness is all around in ths amazing world He created....in his amazing people!

Thanks again for the story! and the reminder!

Hugs to you!

At 11:23 AM, Blogger natenamy said...

Father, today help me to seek your presence in my life. Help me to hear your voice clearly, and give me the strength and the encouragement to listen, really listen, to what you say.
Jesus, please be with Brent, Deanna, Lauren, and Whitney today. As they seek your presence and your light, I pray that you would lift them up and draw them close to you.
Thank you for BJ, Father. Thank you for his life and for the lessons that he teaches us even now.
Teach us, convict us, to seek your presence the same way that BJ did. One day, Jesus, like BJ, we will look you in the face, and oh what a wonderful day that will be.
Thank you for your presence in our lives. Amen.

We love you!


Amy (and Nate)

At 11:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you so very much for continuing this site. It is still an amazing blessing and I look forward to visiting it each day.

April C.
Odessa, Tx

At 12:01 PM, Blogger Danzeisen5 said...

Sending you our love today. This whole experience has changed our lives. I just want you to know that we are constantly being reminded of the "fear of the Lord" - at church, scripture, books I'm reading - everywhere! God began speaking it to me after reading some of BJ's writings and is really driving the point home in our household lately. So easily we let things slip in that are not always bad things, but that are not his best for us or what He wants us to focus on. Since Beej died I have been more convicted to really seek Him on each decision and even to make spending time with Him a bigger priority. Your writings always challenge me and I so appreciate the way God is using you and this whole hard situation to bring us into a better place with Him and take our walk much more seriously.
Anyway, thanks for sharing through your pain and for making this a priority in your day. We are always glad to hear how you are doing and how we can pray better for you.
Joshua dreams of BJ and Jesus together at night sometimes. He prays that you all will know BJ is with Jesus and that he is happy - that must be what he dreams! Thank you Lord for those little glimpses!
We love you so much

At 12:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Carol-we are praying for Esther. Please post and let us know how she is doing.

Dear, Sweet Higgins family- prayers are offered up continually throughout the day for your family.

At 12:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sometimes, the more you find out about someone, the more you wish you didn't know. In that case, truth really does hurt.

Exactly the opposite is true with BJ: the more we learn about him, the more amazed we are, and the more we want to know! Guess what? That's how it works with Jesus, too! Truly BJ was "like his teacher."

Thanks, Brent, for sharing. Clearly, your words are healing for others beyond yourself.

Praising Him for the ones who have found life through this site, praying for Deanna's school day as I travel through my own, and lifting all the Higgins family (even that precious dreaming Joshua, Keeper of the Sword) up to Him,

Marti for the Pieper Family
Charleston, SC

At 1:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mr Higgins,

I am so sorry for the loss of your son. But the awesome thing he is in Heaven and singing around the throne of glory. Man what a site that must be.
Wow. You and I only met once at the winter youth retreat back in Feb. My name is SFC David Vance and I am currently stationed in Iraq. To see your love and dedication for your son moved me to tears.
I will be praying for you and your family. Some good news the Holy Spirit has called me back to be the youth pastor at our church so I am awaiting the churches call. I get home in Jan just in time for the Winter youth retreat. I will look forward to saying hi then.
We, our church here, will be lifting your family up in prayer.

SFC David Vance

At 1:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for coming on every day to encourage us. I know its hard coz you miss him terribly. What a light BJ had, his light is still shinning.

Have a good day.

At 1:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for the encouraging words. It seems all to often I keep the light to myself and through BJ's story have been encouraged to share share share! Praying for your family, thank you for continuing to share.

At 3:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for your wonderful and inspiring stories. I look forward to reading your blogs every day and hearing about new aspects of BJ's life. I continue to pray for you and your family and for God to provide you with the comfort, peace, and strength that only He can give.

At 4:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey family I am anxious to see you for the reunion weekend with Awe Star. I love that you continue to be faithful to the body with continuous updates on how things are going with the Higgins family. know that I love you guys, am longing to see all of you again, and praying for you.
In Christ,
D.J. Peru 05

At 4:17 PM, Blogger Emily Jo said...

Hi dad,
Still love the "snapshots" into your lives, grief, trials, and triumphs. What a blessed encouragement this sight is to me. I come here daily and take away so much. Always praying for you all,
Emily Jo
Monrovia, CA

At 4:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

There's not a time that I come here that I'm not encouraged by your words. Thanks so much. We're continually praying!

Kayla (Peru 2005)

At 4:56 PM, Blogger Scott Harris said...

I love hearing from y'all. I start my day off now by reading your blog and am blessed every day by what you have to share. I got baptized this last Sunday at church; my parents came and me and Jesse both wore our prayforbj.com shirts... Keep updating! Praying for y'all.

P.S. I bet you wish you could be down here in FL where we are still wearing short sleeve shirts... ;-)

At 5:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brent & Deanna~ It's been long time no see. I heard the news and am deeply sorry for your lose. I know that BJ is missed & memories are charished. Even now BJ is still working, I see that he has drawn quit a crowd toward the Lord. I'm sure Bj has made the mustard seed seem that much bigger. I am in Indy three nights a week & if you like to take a hike some time let me know.
Love your friend Matthew McKendry

At 6:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bless you Family.
You are all in our prayers and Thank You
soo much for sharing with us.
Indpls., IN

At 8:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just wanted to say I learned of your son's illness while attending a discipleship walk, the next week when I came back I learned he was not doing well. A few weeks later I got the call from a friend that BJ had went home, the chills over my whole body were unbearable. I was at the camp this past weekend for a women's retreat & talked to a young man & asked how your family was & he said doing okay. Pleas know that I am praying for you & your family. I have no idea how you feel & I don't want to, that may seem selfish but I couldn't imagine. You have been such a blessing just reading daily inserts. I ran into a lady that was on my discipliship walk & I told her of BJ on Sunday, she had no idea. I told her of your website & she is in prayer for you & your family. The most positive thing of this outcome is that one day we all will get to see BJ again & how awesome is that. You all are good people, continue to spread the word. Jesus is so proud.


At 8:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you, and praise the Lord for the inspiration He gives you to keep sharing insights into His Word and illustrations from life experiences with BJ. Each entry you share encourages and blesses me so much. And thank you for taking on the roles of Dad and Mom to many young people who have been touched by your lives and your experiences. Some men have forsaken their God-given roles as fathers and husbands for whatever selfish reasons. So, for the children they have abandoned, you are an even greater blessing. You may never know this side of heaven how many people you have influenced in a positive way through this site. But I pray that He truly blesses you and your family far beyond what you could ever ask or think. Thank you!!!

At 9:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dearest Anonymous,
Thank you for the prayers for my Mom (Esther), who starts chemo on Thursday. Your posting brought tears to my eyes...thank you for caring for and praying for a stranger. Our God is so good!

Dad, every day when I read your words you continue to bless my heart. We hope the words we post for you and your family continue to convey how much we care for you guys and share your burdens as your Christian brothers and sisters.

One time last year when my preemie baby was struggling for life, a mere acquaintence offered to do something very helpful for us. I expected our close friends to jump in to help, but not virtual strangers. I said to the woman "Why do you offer to help us in this way...you barely know us?" She said, "Don't you get it? We are God's hands here on earth!" And, that made such an impact on me when I thought of it that way. May we all be God's hands on earth each and every day!

Praying for you still in Arlington, TX

At 10:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dearest Higgins!

You have not been out of our prayers...we have just been "on the move" and unable to check in during the last week. Oh, how exciting, difficult, up, down, and full of blessings it has been to read through the days we have missed. You could NEVER imagine how difficult it was to be away from being able to encourage you & share that we continue to be on our knees on your behalf.

Know that you are still lifted up often and your faithfulness is shining through. All to His glory, all to His glory!

The McMahans
Hudson, OH
through Downers Grove, IL
and now in Nashville, TN (do you have Nashville on the map already?)

At 12:54 AM, Blogger hassimir said...

Amazing. Even in death this boy can bring people to Christ. To live and die with such a legacy is truly something to strive for. Thank you everyone for keeping this site up. I know this is what God has kept me awake to see tonight. Praise God.

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At 10:56 PM, Blogger sdfsbo said...

Help me Dude, I think I'm lost..... I was searching for Elvis and somehow ended up in your blog, but you know I'm sure I saw him in a car lot yesterday, which is really strange because the last time I saw him was in the supermarket. No honest really, he was right there in front of me, next to the steaks singing "Love me Tender". He said to me (his lip was only slightly curled) "Boy, you need to get yourself a San Diego cosmetic surgery doctor ,to fit into those blue suede shoes of yours. But Elvis said in the Ghetto nobody can afford a San Diego plastic surgery doctor. Dude I'm All Shook Up said Elvis. I think I'll have me another cheeseburger. Then I'm gonna go round and see Michael Jackson and we're gonna watch a waaaay cool make-over show featuring some Tijuana dentists on the TV in the back of my Hummer. And then he just walked out of the supermarket singing. . . "You give me love and consolation,
You give me strength to carry on " Strange day or what? :-)

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At 1:16 PM, Blogger Mr JaguarDriver said...

Greetings from Down Under, no not Australia, NZ the real downunder! Hi Pray for BJ I was surfing blogs (as you do) looking for how to pray information when I came across your site. While this post wasn't an exact match I enjoyed reading your posts. Thanks for the read, I'll visit again some time. take care.

At 9:33 PM, Blogger Mysticman said...

Hi Pray for BJ love your blog. I came across it while looking for pray. I know this post is not an exact match but thanks for the read. I'll get on with my search for pray stuff and will visit again sometime. Take Care

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