I do not know if we actually get clues about our loved ones in heaven while still on earth, or if that is a fabrication from thirsting hearts left behind. Regardless, I want to share what has been rising in ours.

BJ never expressed his affection or desire to spend time with horses on any memorable scale, when he was with us. Oh we have the picture I referenced some time ago with him riding a pony, connected to one of those "live carousels, but other than an occasional reference to horses, nothing that clamored of desire.

Since he passed, we have learned more. More that leads us in a direction that can only cause us to wonder about his role in heaven.

On February 28th, I posted his top 10 list of things he wanted to do before he died. I found it most curious that number eight was "Live on a big piece of land and have horses." I cannot ever remember him indicating that kind of interest.

Knowing of his love for swords, and inspiration from "Lord of the Rings," the "Left Behind" series, and others, all which included mounted horsemen and swordplay, initially only caused me to see a boys love for fantasy. We are very visual creatures, and this perception for him was motivating. It drew him to write "I will unsheathe my sword, and stop playing all defense in this war." A sentence that has enormous impact for me, and many others.

The rising desire in his heart was to serve the Lord with passion, power, and relentless abandon. His life and death inspire me today, and routinely cause me to see the flaws in my own life. I am motivated to do something about the dark recesses of my own heart. They must be released to fully serve the King!

I recently clicked on "Why BJ" to the right of our writings, and scrolled down to the testimony of Six (Charissa), a teammate and friend BJ met from his '04 Peru trip.
She writes of how moved he was by reading Revelations 9:16-17 which says:

"Now the number of the army of the horsemen was two hundred million; I heard the number of them. And thus I saw the horses in the vision: those who sat on them had breasplates of fiery red, hyacinth blue, and sulfur yellow; and the heads of the horses were like the heads of lions; and out of their mouths came fire, smoke, and brimstone."

Beej was moved to joyful elation as he entertained the idea of being one of those horsemen, serving his King, returning in the end times, to usher in his Lion of Judah! Fantasy? Perhaps. Much goes on in the spiritual realm we would deem fantasy if we saw it happen.

Revelations while symbolic, is part of God's Truth. Do we embrace some and not the rest because we fail to understand it's implication? I think not! Perhaps he understood more than most. That is frankly true from much of his writing. He maintained a fascination with Revelations for much of his walk. What is symbolism? What is reality? We do not know on this side of His second coming. Soon we shall see Him as He is! How thrilling is that? How motivating is that? We must be armed and stand at the ready!

This week I learned my dear Deanna had a dream/vision about our son after his death. At the time of the dream, she was unaware of Six's writing or BJ's top 10 list. She feared sharing as she thought she would be discounted as a grieving mother. She believed it to be a relief from the Lord that indicated he is well, and is being raised up. In it, he joyfully rides a horse on a "big piece of land" and she is told, he is training to lead a legion of men!

Serving his King, leading men, wielding his sword, this is my son in whom I am well pleased!

Serving the King behind you BJ,

dad