Friday, March 10, 2006

BJ used to lean on us. He was very affectionate and for that I've always been grateful. Since his death, I have felt guilt that I would sometimes not allow the "lean" - he was, afterall, bigger than me, yet wanted ME to hold HIM up. I'd be standing somewhere minding my own business and he would come up and start leaning... Sometimes it was to tease, sometimes just to pester and sometimes for affection. Whether I allowed it or not, it made me smile and now it reminds me of his love for me. I savor the memory. I'm thankful I had such a son who would take an interest in leaning on Mom. What joy that boy gave!

The memory of his "leaning" means a bit more to me now in light of one of the disciples (John) who leaned on Jesus. The familiarity of the lean is significant. What's also interesting is that John was probably the youngest disciple. In Jewish tradition, the youngest often sat near the father figure at the table and asked traditional questions. John leaned in to ask about the betrayer, at the prompting of Peter. Was it proper etiquette to "lean?" Did John have to lean on Jesus to ask or hear the answer? No, but he wanted to! He loved Him. His affection was not hindered by protocol. He was comfortable in leaning. Jesus was approachable and lovable. See John 13:25. From Beth Moore's "Beloved Disciple" study

Father, that we may all lean on You that way. Trust you that way. Knowing of Your love and the security we have in You. Even and especially when things are out of control. Show us how to love the way You unconditionally love us. How can we grasp the love You have for us? A love beyond knowledge, beyond reason. A love that makes us strong and fills us with Your Spirit. A love that motivates us to reach out and help others see the One and Only God, for real and for certain. Help us catch a glimpse of this love in Paul's prayer to the Ephesians:

that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:17-19

Paul definitely knew how to preach it!! I wonder if BJ's had a conversation with him yet...

Love to all,


At 9:42 AM, Blogger natenamy said...

That Beth Moore study is awesome, isn't it? Just wanted to let you know that we are thinking about you and that we love you. Please call if you need anything...
Brent, if you can read this, we are praying for you and the team in Mexico. We can't wait to hear all of the awesome things that God has done and will continue to do when you return to us!
Love to both of you!
Amy (and Nate-dog)

At 9:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey mom!

I just love it when you post!! are you doing ok w/o you hubby at home to keep you company? i know sometimes my mom welcomes the break from "taking care" of my dad =) (she might kill me for saying that!) Anyway.. i hope that this week will be good for you... this Mexico trip is going to be amazing.. the Lord has been preparing them for awhile!! so.. they will be in my prayers.. and you as always.. will you continue to be on the forefront of my heart!!

Love you

At 10:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh the guilt we moms allow to sneak in! I know it's not just moms, but I do believe moms tend to be the softies when it comes to this. I am a very affectionate person. I have raised our boys, ages 7 & 8, to be affectionate. They give me hugs and kisses every day when they get out of the car when I take them to school, they give me hugs and kisses every day when I pick them up.

Well, just last week, my younger son was having a rough day. Mom wasn't doing much better, harried by last minute preparations I was making for an event I was organizing. We got to school late, everyone was crabby. I did get a kiss from him and I said I love you, which I do every day when I drop them off at school. Well, when he got home from school and he wasn't listening, I told him to go to his room. He started throwing a fit and then yelled out, "nobody even said they love me today!" It took me by surprise because I realized then how important it was to him to hear that, as much as it is to me to say it and to hear it. After things calmed down, I did remind him that I said it in the morning. I wonder it that's how God feels when we busy ourselved with so many things and don' t take the time to talk to Him. Either way, it's a good reminder.

Praying for the mission team in Mexico and for all of you. Tina

At 7:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you Mom, for blessing us again. Your family is really like no other. Thank you for the blogs and for opening your family to us. We feel we know you and the heart of your wonderful son. You are in our prayers always.


At 7:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Deanna, enjoy your time with your girls this weekend. I will be praying for your husband as he travels and praying for you and your daughters as well.

At 10:28 PM, Blogger Praying in Pink said...

I think BJ "leaned" much because his parents were much like Jesus--"approachable and loveable." Lord, remind me of the need to express these Christlike qualities in my own life even as I lean on Your everlasting arms.

Praying and leaning in Charleston--

Marti for all the Piepers

At 7:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's always been so clear, Deanna, that yours is the heart of Christ.
Love you,
Carla S.

At 7:22 AM, Blogger brobrad said...


I am so thankful that we can lean on Him and I find myself needing to do that quite a lot right now.

As a further tease to faithful bloggers, has reviewed "Coming Up to Breathe" and calls "Die for You" a "standout ballad."

The way the Lord has worked through BJ's life and death - a song inspired by it has to be special. Can't wait until you all can hear it.

At 11:57 AM, Blogger phil4yahshua said...

Hello dear family

Quite some time has past since I wrote to you but nonethelesss you have been on my heart and in my prayers. Unfortunately, I have been going though a dark period lately. Nothing to be compared to what you have endured. But when I come here it is like partaking in a tiny bit of Heaven. This is a safe place. A place where BJ's love for our Savior is evident in every word that is written. I have been on a journey in my life to find my place, perhaps my identity. I have come to the same place Paul did when he said...."for me to live is Christ, and to die is gain"! Truly, nothing in my life compares to my desire to serve HIM 24/7. I am afraid I have failed the Master lately. I have been involved in a struggle of which I cannot speak. This struggle continues to torment me even as I write this but somehow I believe as I know you believe that Jesus, Yahshua, will bring peace where there is no peace. So, dear family as I write to you, to let you know how much I love you and continue to share this journey along side of you, I find comfort in knowing you will pray for me as well and for that I shed tears of thanksgiving. Please pray for me and a (one time) close brother who has separated himself from me. My words of truth, to open his eyes only bring anger, denial and rebuking There was a time we walked hand in hand in the heavenly relm. Oh how glorious it was. Now there is separation and pain. Enough said! Some how I felt led here to this place of love, peace and forgiveness to share my love with you and perhaps to find a place to find healing for my broken spirit. I know you found wholeness where there was grief and even to this day your words and the words of BJ continue to spread the healing power that Yahshua our Savior died so we might know ultimate love and forgiveness. Thank you, dear family, for the priviledge of knowing you and even sharing if but briefly and from a distance the healing touch of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be all Glory and Honor for ever and ever,

At 12:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can imagine the conversation with BJ is endless. I am praying for Brents safe return and hoping he is having an amazing experience.
Deanna You cross my mind so many times throughout every day. Thank you for sharing, your words are always deep struck within and I am greatful your still sharing with us.
dear Lord wrap your loving arms around Deanna, I pray you bring her more strength and peace within her heart.
I pray to you Dear Lord, Keep our Higgins Family safe from harm and close to you, Dear Lord in jesus name I pray.
Your friend and
sister in Christ
Indpls., IN

At 2:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have missed you on this site.
I pray with you brother. I pray you come to realize the message you hear from your struggles. If it is a bad journey you've been feeling, or a struggle with your identity, brother, I Pray you rejoice in theese struggles, soon you can realize the message sent and identify with our Lord. What is our Lord saying brother Phil? Perhaps your identity is He. Our Savior.
Your concience. [I have trouble with spelling this word] "Conscience"
Your inner voice brother!! Now, Brother Phil, I pray all of this brings you even closer to our Lord.
Bless you Brother for reaching out.
In Jesus name I pray
Show Phil a sign to bring peace with his brother, bring him an abundance of strength, Dear Lord help Phil grow with you through his period of darkness.
In Jesus name I pray

At 7:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

He who has fear, has no Faith
Have Faith and you shall not have fear!!

At 7:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At 1:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear family, We never stop praying for you and for God to heal and lead you. Deanna, I miss you. Have a blessed time with your girls. I always enjoy being with Whit and watching her and Suzanne be together... Lauren, I pray for you always and love you all so much.. Brett, we can't wait to hear your stories when you get back.

Marlene (and Bill)


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