Friday, March 03, 2006

I do not know if we actually get clues about our loved ones in heaven while still on earth, or if that is a fabrication from thirsting hearts left behind. Regardless, I want to share what has been rising in ours.

BJ never expressed his affection or desire to spend time with horses on any memorable scale, when he was with us. Oh we have the picture I referenced some time ago with him riding a pony, connected to one of those "live carousels, but other than an occasional reference to horses, nothing that clamored of desire.

Since he passed, we have learned more. More that leads us in a direction that can only cause us to wonder about his role in heaven.

On February 28th, I posted his top 10 list of things he wanted to do before he died. I found it most curious that number eight was "Live on a big piece of land and have horses." I cannot ever remember him indicating that kind of interest.

Knowing of his love for swords, and inspiration from "Lord of the Rings," the "Left Behind" series, and others, all which included mounted horsemen and swordplay, initially only caused me to see a boys love for fantasy. We are very visual creatures, and this perception for him was motivating. It drew him to write "I will unsheathe my sword, and stop playing all defense in this war." A sentence that has enormous impact for me, and many others.

The rising desire in his heart was to serve the Lord with passion, power, and relentless abandon. His life and death inspire me today, and routinely cause me to see the flaws in my own life. I am motivated to do something about the dark recesses of my own heart. They must be released to fully serve the King!

I recently clicked on "Why BJ" to the right of our writings, and scrolled down to the testimony of Six (Charissa), a teammate and friend BJ met from his '04 Peru trip.
She writes of how moved he was by reading Revelations 9:16-17 which says:

"Now the number of the army of the horsemen was two hundred million; I heard the number of them. And thus I saw the horses in the vision: those who sat on them had breasplates of fiery red, hyacinth blue, and sulfur yellow; and the heads of the horses were like the heads of lions; and out of their mouths came fire, smoke, and brimstone."

Beej was moved to joyful elation as he entertained the idea of being one of those horsemen, serving his King, returning in the end times, to usher in his Lion of Judah! Fantasy? Perhaps. Much goes on in the spiritual realm we would deem fantasy if we saw it happen.

Revelations while symbolic, is part of God's Truth. Do we embrace some and not the rest because we fail to understand it's implication? I think not! Perhaps he understood more than most. That is frankly true from much of his writing. He maintained a fascination with Revelations for much of his walk. What is symbolism? What is reality? We do not know on this side of His second coming. Soon we shall see Him as He is! How thrilling is that? How motivating is that? We must be armed and stand at the ready!

This week I learned my dear Deanna had a dream/vision about our son after his death. At the time of the dream, she was unaware of Six's writing or BJ's top 10 list. She feared sharing as she thought she would be discounted as a grieving mother. She believed it to be a relief from the Lord that indicated he is well, and is being raised up. In it, he joyfully rides a horse on a "big piece of land" and she is told, he is training to lead a legion of men!

Serving his King, leading men, wielding his sword, this is my son in whom I am well pleased!

Serving the King behind you BJ,



At 8:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

WOW. What a dream/vision!!

At 9:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Deanna, I am so thankful that the Lord gave you the dream/vision. I never knew BJ, but I can picture him on horseback leading the way.

At 12:21 PM, Blogger Kim Mierau said...

Please pray for my parents as they are trying to sell their house. My dad is already living in TN and mom will move there when the house sells. They had a drought for a couple weeks of no showings, but just had another one yesterday. Not sure what the outcome was, but please pray for God's timing in this, and his provision.

Love *kim

At 1:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

that's so amazing! and so true... i remember one time after David gave a message on putting on the full armour of God and fighting the daily spiritual battles how BJ couldn't help but share it with us over and over again. I can only imagine how it'll be like in the final battle when we're all standing next to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords with victory in hand. And to think, BJ's already there getting ready for that last and final battle... i can imagine him with that big smile, grinning from ear to ear, doing what he'd always spoke passionately about.

At 6:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

THAT GAVE ME GOOSEBUMBS! (or holy bumps as a freind of mine says!)

That would definately explain why God took him prepare him for the day of Christ's return. What an incredible journey ahead for BJ if that is a true vision/revelation you've had!!! I am so excited for him!!!

At 7:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

WOW!! Reading that brightend my day!! Everytime I come in and read what you have postedI seem to learn more and leave my desk not empty but with my mind still eondering and learning more about BJ. He made a huge impact at my school. Its amazing to see Christ in you and everythimg you say..INSPIRING!!

Kaeli C.

At 9:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


I bet that they aren't just fantasies.. i think that the Lord gives us those "intuitions" for a reason. Maybe one day.. when we all get there.. He'll greet us on a horse.

Loving Him.. praying for you.. missing beej


At 12:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is no doubt in my mind that BJ is one of God's favorite sons and one of Christ's best friends. He is still working in BJ to do amazing things. Thanks for sharing!

At 4:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very uplifting.. it was such a good thing to spend time at HLBC this weekend and get to talk to you, even if it was for a short while. Your humility and giving spirit inspires me, and I know it's the Holy Spirit. Thank you for being so transparent, and for having such jolly eyes!
Love and praying for you guys

At 7:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We have had a Global Missions emphasis this past week at Shades Mountain Baptist here in Birmingham, AL. This morning Dr. Walker Moore of Awe Star Ministries shared with us the story of BJ's passion for Christ. He encouraged us to check out this site. Words cannot express my amazement at the enlightenment and wisdom BJ had through his relationship with Christ. I have spent the past few hours reading back through your archived blogs and have been blessed. BJ continues to reach souls for Christ - whether for the first time or for those like me who are continually learning, to teach us more about realizing that our God is in control and always with us. Thank you for taking the time to share with us BJ's journey home.

At 7:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Absolutely! I treasure messages from heaven with a big smile and reassured whom is wathcing over me.
Who? Jesus Christ that is who.
Bless you Family
I hope your weekend has been reviving.
I have been without computer and miss reading Blogg.
Praying for you all have growing strength and peace in your hearts.
Love and Huggs to each of you
Your sister in Christ
Indpls., In
PS Julie began riding lessons today
She rode a horse names HUEY

At 3:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

WOW!! Thank you for sharing!

At 3:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now it all makes sense - God came to choose BJ, to take him to Heaven to begin preparation for the "big day!" To me, knowing this and being enlightened in this way, would suddenly take away much of the pain, knowing that your beloved son has been "chosen" to do something very honorable for God!! Wow, wow, wow! That is all I can say - it is just amazing to hear this. It all makes sense. It is all so clear now! God saw BJ performing in the drama - yet to BJ, it was true action for God, for the kingdom!! God knew that BJ would repsond like Mary, "I am blessed to be used as you see fit!"
Now, it becomes exciting to think that the time may be drawing near. Oh, God truly has raised you up to serve with Awe-Star, to raise up other warriors!!! We will be praying much that God will use each of these teens in a mighty way, and that if they are needed for the battle, that they too will be willing to offer the ultimate sacrifice!! GOD IS GOOD - ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!

At 3:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amazing love, how can it be!!! Thank you for sharing this vision. What a blessing to come to this site today and hear God speak, to know why He called BJ home!

At 9:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow! Deanna, I am awe struck! What a dream! It leaves me breathless just thinking about it. I'm praying for you and Brent and the girls as you start your new journey this summer and beyond. Please keep us abreast of what you are doing.
Under His wing, DeAnn Shrewsbury

At 9:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


What an incredible gift that dream is! I know a woman who lost her first child to SIDs and was grieving and wondering if her child would be in heaven as an infant. Well... she was more than wondering - she was tormented. One day a neighborhood boy knocked on the door and said he found something on the street and thought she might like it. It was a drawing of a baby cradle in heaven.

God is amazing and on a personal level I feel so challenged to live for Him even more because of your testimony. I will keep checking in. Jesus peace...


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